Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel

Prepare to be Teleported

2010-06-11T19:45:00.003+08:00

Dear Gentle Readers,

The Lone Grey Squirrel has completed his re-construction process and is blogging again but the Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel has relocated in the process.

Please click here to be magically transported to the new location.

See you on the other side, hopefully

Life Hiatus

2010-05-08T22:36:00.004+08:00

Dear friends of the Realm,

Recent developments has made it hard for the plans for world conquest and regular blogging to proceed as planned. Suffice to say that my life is in the process of a major reconstruction. I regret that I shall have to take a hiatus of about a month to facilitate these life changes.

Until then, I shall try to visit your wonderful blogs.

Your friendly Rodent tyrant,
LGS

Unburied Nuts from 19th July 2007: Cats over Borneo

2010-04-14T15:00:00.001+08:00

From time to time, I uncover an older post and give it another chance in the spotlight. As I am not very creative at the moment, I thought it was time to do so again. As it happens, there have been a lot of visitors sniffing around this post having Googled "cats over Borneo" or "cats and parachutes". What strange things people use Google for! Well, if you had done so, you might have ended up unearthing this fact is stranger than fiction story. Enjoy.

CATS OVER BORNEO

Cats in Cat City, Borneo (PhotoCredit: LGS)

This strange piece of public art is found in the city of Kuching which is the capital of the state of Sarawak on the vast, equatorial and forested island of Borneo. The cats' theme is actually in tribute to the city because the name Kuching actually means "cat" in the Malay language. Hence Kuching is actually "Cat City".

However, Borneo is the setting of an even more interesting and bizzare cat related story. This story is often called "Cats over Borneo". The story is set in the 1950's. Malaria, the severe and potentially fatal blood borne disease, was rampant and it was known to be spread by the Anopheles mosquito. The relatively new and young World Health Organization (WHO) was fervent in their efforts to fight malaria.

They had just added to their arsenal of weapons, a new and effective insecticide, a chemical called dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane or DDT. Today, we are aware of DDT's problems including its long half life and tendency to accumulate in fatty tissue as well as its effect on non-target species. However, at that time, the pesticide was being used worldwide, and was widely touted for its safety and its effectiveness.

Anyway, the WHO sprayed DDT liberally in the Dayak villages of the Sarawak interior. Initially, this campaign was considered a success as mosquitoes were killed and the malaria rate dropped. Then authorities were hit by two mystery complaints. The first was very bizzare. The Dayak villages consisted of longhouses which accomodate several families and which were covered by a thatch roof. The villagers complained that their roofs were collapsing exposing whole communities to the elements. Although puzzled, the authorities were forced to act quickly and sent in corrugated metal sheets to be used as roofing material.

Before, they could even take a breather, they were surprised by the outbreak of plague and reports of famine as grain stores were decimated by a large invasion of rats. The authorities urgently investigated the matter and called the Royal Air Force for help. Citizens were also asked to donate cats and to help build special cat baskets. Operation "Cat Drop" was carried out in which hundreds of cats were parachuted by the RAF onto interior villages. This reinforcement of cats eventually solved the problem.

The Day They Parachuted Cats on Borneo by Charlotte Pomerantz relates this true story in the form of a rhyme. It is also featured in an article by Gordon R. Conway in The Careless Technology: Ecology and International Development (1972) and a first-hand account of “Operation Cat-drop” is given by Tom Harrisson in the journal Animals published in 1965.

What transpired in the jungles of Borneo is a clear example and a cautionary tale that man does not know enough about the inter-connectivity of the web of life and many of our actions to address a single problem have often unexpected reprecussions. The DDT did infact kill the mosquitoes and also other insects in the jungle which were non-target species. One of which was a jungle wasp. These wasps in turn played the important role of keeping a certain caterpillar population in check by laying eggs on the caterpillar and when the larvae hatch out, the larvae feed on the caterpillar, killing it. When the DDT killed the wasp, the caterpillar population boomed and as the caterpillar fed on the roof thatching, the roofs started to collapse.

At the same time, the geckos which are a type of lizard which feed on insects were having a great time because it kept finding dead insects everywhere. However, as they ate, the DDT levels in their bodies continued to rise. The cats in the village in turn often catch and eat the geckos. Soon, all the cats died of poisoning. With the cats gone, the rats came out to play. Their population boomed, leading to the destruction of grain stores and the spread of plague. A situation that was only reversed by the airborne drop of cats over Borneo.

A strange but true tale and a warning to man to stop messing with the world's complex and balanced web of life. I did not even mention how all these imported cats caused a great upset to the indigenous squirrel population!

The Haircut: How the Pampered Have Fallen

2010-04-09T23:58:00.002+08:00

Sometime back, I wrote about how I was conflicted about going to have my haircut in one of the modern unisex hairdressing salons (The Haircut: the Estacy and the aqony). I initially felt uncomfortable with being pampered with someone washing my hair or giving me scalp massages but finally I gave in. So for the last four years, I had abandoned my proletariat roots and reveled in the decadence of the upmarket unisex salon.

However, economic realities and impending unemployment has recently forced me to seek more modest alternatives. And so, yesterday I found myself waiting in the queue at the bargain cut-price barber shop at the local mall.

It was very interesting comparing this budget establishment and the average unisex salon. Firstly, there was no nice sofa set or waiting room where you could read magazines or sip tea while you waited. The whole place was only really big enough for two barber chairs and we had to wait, sitting on three legged stools, outside in the corridor leading to the toilets.

The next noticeable difference was the cleanliness of the establishment or rather the lack of it. Let's just say that the floor had a heavy carpet of hair. The two staff was responsible for cutting and styling hair, collecting money, selling hair care products and cleaning up. Considerably overworked, cleaning and sweeping the floor of the cut locks by the staff only occurred when the layer of hair was deep enough to clog the wheels on their rolling chairs.

However, I thought the most interesting difference was in their approaches to hair styling. In the up-market hairsalon, the hairstylist expertly uses to cut the hair, getting rid of the unwanted lengths and then tidies up using an electirc clipper and a small pair of scissors. This is similar to someone using garden shears to trim back the unruly branches of a bush and then finally using an electric powered shears to finely sculpture the bush.

The highly expert budget stylist uses the electric clippers to shear you like a sheep is sheared for its wool and then uses the scissors to cut whatever remains sticking out. Using the analogy of the bush, it is more similar to using a chain saw to sculpture a bush and then tidying up the splinttered branches later with some shears.

I miss the up-market pampering but I like the price (which is at least 75% cheaper) and the haircut is actually quite good. Plus the people watching is more interesting. I think I can live with my fall from Grace. (Grace was the name of the up-market salon I used to go to).

Proud Malaysian

2010-04-06T23:33:00.004+08:00

I was watching the Amazing Race (Season 16, episode 8)on TV a couple of days ago and pleased to see that the competitors were in the historical and beautiful island of Penang in Malaysia on their race around the world. I thought the program did a good job of showcasing some of the more interesting aspects about the people and culture of Penang.

If you had watched the program, you would have learned, for example, that Malaysian taxi drivers need little encouragement to speed and drive recklessly and that we are capable of having traffic jams even on idyllic island paradises.

Seriously though, I particularly liked the way the program introduced the unique culture that developed in a place that has been a cultural mixing bowl for some 600 years. The team consisting of two cowboy brothers won the leg of the competition because they undertook to do the Chingay and did surprisingly well.

Chingay is a cultural performance that originated from China but was introduced to Penang by the Chinese people living there. The signature of Chingay is the carrying of gigantic bamboo flags in street processions. These performances have their roots in Taoist worship. The hoisting of gigantic flags have been recorded as early as 1905, and were performed to appease Taoist deities. The name "Chin Gay" means "true art" in the Hokkien dialect.

However, it is easier for you to see it for yourself rather than have me try to explain it in words. As the video shows, despite the Chinese origin, Chingay is truly a sport that has attracted practitioners from all the different races in Penang (the three main races of Malay, Chinese and Indian are shown in the video). This is a Malaysia that makes me proud. A Malaysia where all the races enjoys and appreciates the richness that their different cultures can bring. This is a Malaysia that is getting a little too rare these days.

In Christ Alone

2010-04-04T01:45:00.002+08:00

Please take the time to watch this video and listen to the lyrics of the song that almost perfectly reflect my thoughts and feelings about Christ and His sacrifice at Easter. God bless.

A Good Documentary

2010-04-01T23:36:00.002+08:00

In my last post, I lamented on how documentaries today have placed sensationalism and entertainment before education. As a result, instead of being taught about the wonders of the world and of nature and also being taught to respect nature and wildlife, we get documentaries where the presenter is trying to do something stupid like seeing how close he can get to a snake or crocodile without getting bitten.

Documentaries should return to a time when they all aspired to a higher standard. To demonstrate what I mean, have a look at this early Panorama documentary from 1957. Like any good documentary, it opens our eyes to things we may have not known before.

This video was filmed near the village of Lirpaloof.

Hot, Sweaty Men

2010-03-30T19:05:00.006+08:00

There are three posts in one.

Post No:1 Sensational Blogging

The Lone Grey Squirrel has succumbed to blatant sensationalism to attract more readers by pandering to the blogging demographics (overwhelmingly women) and has basically resorted to give them what they want.............HOT, SWEATY MEN.

It is a pity that cute, furry squirrels have not proved to be sufficient.

Anyway, all these pictures and the short video at the end were taken by the Lone Grey Squirrel for your viewing pleasure, ladies. The are all about a performance during an Earth Hour Event at a mall last Saturday night.

Post No: 2 Sensational Nature Documentaries

There were about 300 people gathered at this shopping mall open air atrium to observe Earth Hour. I am sure most of you know about Earth Hour but in case you don't , this event encourages people and cities around the world to switch off the lights for one hour. Switching off the lights for one hour barely makes a dent in our annual consumption of energy but the idea is to just raise awareness about the problem of climate change and our need to reduce our personal impact on the environment including our energy consumption. If those 300 people at the mall then just change their lifestyles to stop wasting energy and manage to reduce their energy consumption by even 10%, then that is what will make the difference that counts.

However, my thoughts drifted to the fact that the organisers had to organise a didgeridoo player, two clowns, one fire-eater, a whole troupe of hot sweaty men, a drum act, a band, two Malaysian celebrity singers and a choir from a children's home to get people to come for the event. They were all great but if we didn't have any of that, would the people have come just to sit in the darkness for one hour?

So regrettably, I note that people today need to be given eye and ear candy. It is not good enough just to support a good cause. The cause needs to also be entertaining.

I notice it is even true of once astute institutions like National Geographic or Discovery Channel. I grew up with nature and wildlife documentaries that introduced their viewers to the beauty of nature and animals while teaching a good respect for all things wild and promoting the common sense of keeping one's distance for the mutual benefit of wildlife and human viewer. Today, it is different. There seems to be a proliferation of documentaries that take great pride on how close the presenter can get to a snake or a crocodile without getting bitten.

In one recent documentary, the presenter takes a walk in a coastal forest at night and tells the viewers that the forest is a particularly dangerous place to be at night and that you would be foolish to come there at night.............and there he is walking there at night.

I did have a chance to talk to a film producer about this once and he said that the reality is that today, channels like Discovery, see their rivals as channels like HBO. In other words, documentaries are about entertainment first and education a distant second.

This is sad. We really have to draw the line somewhere and in my opinion, documentaries must first be about education.

Post No: 3 Sensational World
If you have made it down to this final post past all the sensational hot sweaty men, thank you. I have only one thing to say, "We do have a sensational world, let's keep it that way. Let us change our wasteful and selfish ways for Mother Earth."

Castaway's Choices

2010-03-27T01:42:00.005+08:00

Hi guys and gals. I am just about ready to reveal my castaway's booty but first, I must thank you all for your interesting Desert Island Discs selections so far. As I said in the last post, you can chose 8 pieces of music (records or CDs), one book and one luxury item to take with you into exile on a desert island.

Mark and Jo have a strong preference for classical music to help them while their time on their tropical prison. Squirrelmama liked both classical as well as opera singing by the likes of Andre Bocelli. Geewits was the most eclectic and probably most similar to my own choices; but I also was introduced to a couple of musicians that I hadn't known, Leon Russel (Mark's choice) and Gato Barbeiri (Squirrelmama's choice).

Amongst the luxury items, the ladies opted for various skin care products and lip balm. Mark, always the rascal and pushing the limits of the rules, chose a yacht which is a very liberating luxury indeed.

Coming now to books, I liked all the choices. Moby Dick (Mark) and The Count of Monte Cristo (Geewits) seem like most appropriate choices given the circumstances but Jo's "Complete works of Somerset Maugham" hits close to home as some of his stories are based in and around Malaysia. Mago, on the other hand, wants to take eight books instead of eight pieces of music.

Okay, here goes. Drum roll please. Here's Lone Grey Squirrel's all alone on an island choices;

Music
1. & 2. Classical music cause it is so uplifting and for watching the sunrise or sunset. One
would have to be the entire suite of the Planets by Holst and the other a compilation
of the other great composers like Mozart, Beethoven etc.
3. Songs of Worship to praise God and to feed the spirit.
4. Billy Joel's Greatest Hits cause I love the Piano-man.
5. I need my jazz and I choose the uncomparable Ella Fitzgerald.
6. Showtunes and musicals. Either a compilation or the very first love, West Side Story.
7. When the stars come out and I need to party.....Black Eyed Peas.
8. I need the Celtic Touch. I choose The Chieftains.

Book
Once I spent a lot of time alone at a forest research centre and it had one book. I remember that it kept me company for many nights with not one tale but with many; reading one a night like a modern story of Arabian Nights. So I choose this well tested and proven companion; the complete Short Stories of O Henry.

Luxury
Why, it has to be a computer with internet excess so that I can continue to visit your blogs. What else could it be?

Castaway's Junk

2010-03-24T17:42:00.004+08:00

Our friend, Cedarflame, has been forced to be a refugee of sorts when her apartment was water damaged. She had to move her stuff into another apartment and live elsewhere while they repaired her damaged apartment. In the post, she discusses a little about all the stuff that she has collected over the years.

I got to wondering about the things that we collect, do they help define us? Are they physical representations of our inner selves? Yes, squirrels can be come pensive and philosophical sometimes when the winter drags too %@#$ long.

Anyway, this brought to mind a BBC radio program called "Desert Island Discs". This radio program is still on but was first broadcast in 1942 and is recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the longest running musical program in the history of radio. The premise behind Desert Island Discs was to interview a famous guest and to have them imagine that they were about to be castaway and exiled on a desert island. They were told that they could bring 8 pieces of music (originally gramaphone records), one book (other than the bible and the complete works of Shakesphere which were already provided on the island) and one luxury item.

Some episodes of this program are now available as podcasts.

So what might your answer be. Let's play Desert Island Discs. 8 musical pieces or songs, one book and one luxury item. Perhaps we could modernise this to 8 CDs, that would still be desert island discs.

I have to give this one a thought myself and will give my answers in the next post.

Small Minded

2010-03-20T01:41:00.003+08:00

Although I have been working in the area of nature conservation for the last 15 years, I was originally trained as a biochemist and later did my doctorate in microbiology. In retrospect, my doctorate has not been very useful to me. It doesn't get me discounts at cinemas or restaurants, for example.

It also gets me no respect. When I tell people that I have a doctorate in microbiology, they usually respond by saying, "Oh, so you're not a REAL doctor then". Then, there is usually a short pause before they ask, "So what is a microbiologist anyway?"

I like to tell people that a microbiologist is someone who knows a lot about very little. Yes, I think that is a good definition. Anyway, as a service to young readers who may be trying to decide what to study at university or even for older readers seeking a career change, I have compiled the top ten reasons for doing microbiology. I hope this will help you.

TOP TEN REASONS TO BE A MICROBIOLOGIST

1. Microbiologist practice safe sex - we always wear protection and use sterile technique.
2. We know how to give you fever.
3. Self-diagnosis saves time at at the doctor's office.
4. We are really good at streaking.
5. We are used to different and diverse cultures.
6. Wanted to study to be a doctor but also wanted to party.
7. We know how to make small things look BIG.
8. The laboratory equipment can be used to make beer.
9. Get mistaken as doctors when wearing cute lab coats.
10. If we are really lucky, they will name a dreadful disease after us.

Shooting Star

2010-03-15T23:45:00.005+08:00

You blazed across my darkness
like a shooting star in space
And lit up all my emptiness
And filled me with your grace

Then all at once my world was light
So brilliant and amazing
The world was filled with colours bright
And with every shade and feeling.

And suddenly life overwhelmed me
With the richness of its tapestry
And things that I might have once ignored
Now are the very things that I thirst for
Like being on a long sojourn
Finding treasures at every turn

But in the presence of a blazing light
A shadow will be surely cast
An ugliness on this side of white
That had been hidden in the past

Though I now look upon darkened skies
I remember what I had seen
I had glimpsed life beyond the lies
And cannot return to what has been.

So though O star long extinguished
It is you I thank and want to say
My heart once imprisoned and languished
More freely beats in joy each day.

Marching in March

2010-03-09T21:38:00.005+08:00

This post should probably have come out soon after the new year as the ceremony took place on the 1st of January (which is actually a little inconsiderate for those friends who had wanted to see in the new year by getting sloshed till the wee hours of the new year. Nevertheless, this couple chose to get married on the 01/01/10.

I procrastinated about posting on this until this month cause this is the month of March; the month of the mad March Hare and in the words of the Neil Sedaka song, "the month to march you down the aisle". In Malay, March is spelled "Mac". So on that flimsy excuse, I thought I would also showcase what fun my new Mac is by creating a short video. As a bonus to the curious, you get to hear the voice of yours truly narrating the video.

This video is of a Sikh or Punjabi wedding. Punjabis are actually an ethnic group originating from the Punjab area of India. Sikhs refer really to followers of the Sikhism or the Sikh religion. Most Sikhs are Punjabis. In Malaysia, the Punjabis have a reputation that they earned since the colonial period under the British, of being brave and trustworthy and had traditional careers in security and police.

A Fallen Light

2010-03-05T23:44:00.003+08:00

Taman Negara (LGS)

Oh Ancient Mother, who watches over our very heart beats,
See, O see your children's desperate plight
Our forest had grown dark, the light fails and retreats,
It seems like life itself had taken flight.
The land was bleeding earth into brown choked rivulets,

Oh Ancinet Guardian, protector of all living things
Hear, o hear your people's despairing cries,
The land ails and fails to provide as once it did,
The water, the air poisoned with lies
Our bellys are empty and our children beyond comforting.

Oh Ancient of Ancients, who dwells in all we know,
Feel, O feel your spirits dire impotence,
As spirits of steel and smoke surround and grow
And care not for keeping the natural balance
Our familiars, our guides are silent and cold.

Oh Ancient One, our hope as in the rising morn,
From amongst us you arose a special son,
Your child, my child and our hope and light reborn
Born to stand in the gap of dreams and reason
To lead our people back from past beyond

Oh Ancient One, joy again brightened our face,
Aha! Aha! Aha! The sweet melody rings,
No longer do we sell the future of our race
To fill bellys and for forgetfulness drinks
With heads held high facing newly bright days

O Mother of Mothers, who comforts and dries tears,
Know that our hearts, briefly warmed have grown cold.
For the light flickered and fell before his years,
He bore his people's hopes, the boy who was old,
O Mother of Mothers, comfort him and dry his tears.

A Book, A Movie, A Song

2010-02-27T09:51:00.004+08:00

Thank you all for your wonderfully diverse but helpful comments and advice to the previous post. Like in that post, the squirrel remains in a pensive and philosophical mood and the wanderings of my mind led me to this discovery.

A number of times, I have come across bloggers who do a meme on the books that they have read. They would share about the latest books they have read, favorite author etc. and very often, which have been the books that have influenced their lives most.

I have always not participated cause, when it comes to books that have influenced my life, my brain usually draws a blank. One because I am not a prolific reader, two because I am not a serious reader (i.e. I do not like to read heavy intellectual tomes) and three, my reading list is a little embarrassing.

So, as I said, I was surprised to make a discovery of what may be the book that has been most influential in my life (apart from the bible) during my recent mental wanderings. The book is "Ring of Bright Water" by Gavin Maxwell.

Well, it is actually a series of books including "The Rocks Remain" and "Raven Seek Thy Brother". For those of you who are unfamiliar about Gavin Maxwell and his books, I have posted on it before. Follow this link. It is essentially an autobiography of a journalist, author and naturalist who purchases a small piece of land in a remote part of Scotland; his own personal bit of heaven which he named Camusfeàrna. The books also detail his relationship with a whole menagerie of otters; his first love, Mijbil; his long time companion, Edal; Teko who brought fresh hope; and the next generation including Mossy and Monday.

How has this book (or series of books) been influential in my life? Well, I first read "Ring of Bright Water" when I was about 13 or 14 years of age and I think it was the first book that taught me to love animals and especially animals in the wild. My current career in nature conservation some 3 decades later stems from this love that was first planted as a seed then. That makes it a major influence indeed.

The books were also a very brutally honest record of the difficulties, both personal and financial, that Maxwell faced in trying to make his little piece of heaven work. There were also the disasters and tragedies that struck. At that young age, this was my first time reading about a very human icon. He may be author and naturalist extraordinaire but he was far from faultless and far from knowing all the right answers. He made me appreciate that heroes are humans too and the real heroes are the ones that get up after being knocked down and start re-building again.

Maxwell could probably have continued his successful career or even entered into the diplomatic service but he gave it all up for a simpler life amongst his otters and outdoor pursuits in his tiny remote corner of Scotland. My dreams have been affected by his. Success is not as the world measures but by your own sense of happiness in doing what you love. I still seek a little piece of heaven on earth even now.

As I prepared for this post, I came across the old theme song for the movie based on the book. I had actually forgotten how wonderfully poignant and inspiring these words were to my younger self. They are wonderful. The song was sung by Val Doonican and here are the lyrics, followed by the song itself.

Where sun and wind play on a ring of bright water
That's where my heartland will be
The deer on the hill in the first snow of winter
the gull in the sky winging free

I wandered away from the dark crowded city,
Leaving my old life behind,
And came to a place where a ring of bright water,
Dazzled the care from my mind.
So I live with the wonder of the sky and the sea
And I'll always remember who revealed them to me

But now you are gone with your whirlpools of laughter
Racing me down to the sea
But I always smile when a ring of bright water
Echoes your laughter to me.

(key change)

But now you are gone with your whirlpools of laughter
Racing me down to the sea
But I always smile when a ring of bright water
Echoes your laughter to me.
Echoes your laughter to me

Friend or Foe

2010-02-23T19:39:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, when the nuts are all gathered and safely stored, when the snow lies thick upon the ground and there is not much to do but to stay snug in the nest and out of the bitter winds, a squirrel's thoughts may turn philosophical.

On this occasion, I have been reflecting on the meaning of friendship. Is a friend someone who gives you support and love unconditionally? Or is a friend someone who stand up and risks even the friendship to tell you when you are doing something wrong?

Recently, I had a friend who wanted to take a very big life-changing step and who needed my help and direct support to achieve it. I did just that because I wanted to show my unconditional support but since then I wondered if I had done the right thing. Deep down, I have my doubts about whether my friend had made the decision for change for the right reasons and there is a fear that things will not work out as my friend had hoped.

So have I done the right thing by offering unconditional support? If so, why do I feel that I have contributed to a train wreck that is yet to happen?

The alternative would probably to tell my friend that he is about to make an ass of himself and as I friend I will not participate in his "ass-ification". I might lose him as a friend though and would be unlikely to have swayed his course. But would I at least achieve a "moral" victory? Hmmm.

When I look back at my own life experiences, I remember a time when a friend told me I would be certifiably insane if I pursued my desire to be a psychologist. Her point was that there were few career opportunities for psychologists in Malaysia and I would probably end up being a starving psychologist. I remember thanking her for her candid input but deep down I wondered why she would try to ruin my dreams and aspirations with mere facts and reality.

In hindsight, I am happy with the career that I did pursue even though it has little to do with psychology. Yet even though till today we remain close friends, that incident still shines like a beacon across the darkness of time to remind me that I did not get the support I wanted. The conclusion from my own experience would suggest that even I value support rather than the truth from a friend.

Yet, there is a part of me that would like to believe in the higher ideal that friendship must be about truth and what is good for the other person above all else ......even the friendship itself. In other words, better to be a good friend or even an ex-friend than a mere "yes"-man friend.

What do you think? What type of friend would you prefer? Please advice the squirrel.

Red-eyes

2010-02-18T22:31:00.004+08:00

A dreadful ailment is affecting Malaysian Grey Squirrels. The characteristic symptoms are blood-shot and droopy eyes and a tendency to drift into a comatose state in the middle of the day. After much research, medical experts conclude that the epidemic will be over by the beginning of March. But will the squirrels be able to survive till then?

And what causes the blood-shot eyes and comatose state during the daytime? Television. Or rather the television coverage of the Olympic Winter Games from Vancouver which unfortunately screens at the twilight zone hours of 1 am - 4 am in Kuala Lumpur. After several days of keeping such vampire friendly hours, my eyes are sore to the light of the sun, my skin has a ghastly parlor and my brain goes into REM sleep at work .

Just the other day, I struggled to stay awake with a gallon or two of dark hot coffee while trying to watch this particularly interesting winter sport with an exciting match between Team Canada and Norway. I desperately needed to sleep but the game had interesting changes in fortune that kept me glued to the TV set. I invested an hour and a half of my slumber time to watch the match and would you believe it...........the local station cut the coverage just 10 minutes before the close of the match. How frustrating!

Now what was this interesting sport that caught my attention? Well, here is where this post really starts. Are you familiar with that delightful rhyme that goes; "Stick and stones will break my bones......."? Well, this sport has sticks and has stones.

The stones are made of granite, weigh about 20 kg and have handles. The sticks are actually broomsticks. You also need a long stretch of ice with frozen droplets of water on the surface which are called pebbles. There is also a painted house with no walls and hog lines.

Briefly, there are four in a team and they take turns to throw the rocks at the house which is down the far end of the ice. One guy throws the rock, one guy tells him where to throw the rock and the other two use the brooms to sweep the ice so that nothing gets in the way of the rocks. The guy who throws the rock must also make sure he throws the rock before he crosses the hog line or else I think the hogs get angry.

Oh yes, this has also been called chess on ice cause it is obviously very intellectual. The Scots claim to have invented this game in the 16th century but the Lone Grey Squirrel doubts this. I think guys in kilts would not have a lot of fun on ice. Also we all know that Scots toss cabers and not rocks.

I am more inclined to believe that during the 17th century, a bunch of Americans from Salem set off to throw stones at some local witches but a peace-loving witch enchanted them and they ended up playing a game with their stones and the witches' brooms.

There! I have done my best to educate you on the special sport of curling but if you are still not satisfied, you might want to get the truth from wikipedia. Or you could watch this video.

Nor Sleet Nor Snow

2010-02-16T10:55:00.003+08:00

Last week, my wife found herself in New York after a two week working road-trip that saw her travel from Asia to Europe and finally to America. We were looking forward to her returning on a Wednesday evening flight from JFK Airport which would bring her back home just in time for the traditional family re-union dinner on the eve of the Chinese New Year.

On Wednesday morning in Kuala Lumpur (9 pm at night in New York), my wife called and gave me the disappointing news that she might not be able to come back as scheduled. Earlier that week, New York had already been hit by a blizzard which resulted in all the airports being closed for three days. Now, barely two days later, another blizzard was rolling in. My wife's flight was scheduled for 9pm that day but the problem was that the snow storm was expected to roar in at noon. The travel agents and the airports were predicting that no flights would make it out that night.

Even worse, even if my wife could get on a flight the day after or the following days, she would be stranded in Singapore because all the flights from Singapore to Malaysia were fully booked for people traveling home for the Chinese New Year. There seemed noway that she would be spending the Chinese New Year holidays with me. Very depressing news indeed.

Anyway, later that day, it happened to be my weekly bible study group day and I shared the situation with them and challenged them to pray with me for something that if not impossible, seemed to be most improbable; that God would somehow get my wife home for the holidays. That was at 8 am New York time and a phone call from my wife confirmed that the snow was already falling and New York was under a blanket of white. The storm was still expected to peak in another 4 hours and her flight still a distant 13 hours away. The airports still were prediting cancellations.

Well, having committed the matter to God, I went to sleep and woke up the next day to find an exciting SMS on my handphone from my wife. Her flight was in the air and she was on her way back. Hallelujah!

It later turns out that Newark and LaGuardia airports were closed by the storm. JFK Airport remained open but one by one the flights were cancelled. Somehow, her Singapore Airlines flight was boarded, spent three hours de-icing on the runway but finally took off. It was to be the ONLY flight to leave that night.

I have said it before and I'll say it again. God is the best travel agent there is. Happy Chinese New Year! May great things roar in for you this Year of the Tiger!

Do You Know Where Your Coffee Has Been?

2010-02-08T22:31:00.006+08:00

Do you know where your food comes from? In these times of modern transportation, we can enjoy food that comes from around the world. For example, a visit to your supermarket may avail you of bananas from South America, grapes from Australia, cheese from France, olives from Spain, oranges from South Africa and rice from India.

But let's put food aside. I want to talk to you about your coffee because, let's face it, without that cup of java in the morning many of us will not be conscious enough to eat (which is my exciting new theory of how the dinosaurs died out. First the weather grew cold and the dinosaurs gew sleepy but there just was not enough coffee to go around and so they fell asleep and starved to death.)

Do you know where your coffee comes from? If you aren't sure, go ahead and go to the kitchen and check. I'll wait.

Dum diddle do diddle dum diddle dee. Yabba dabba doo skiddooo. Ying tong iddle i po.

Oh, are you back? So, was your coffee from Columbia, Ethiopia, Zambia, Philippines or perhaps even good old Malaysia? Suckers! You are settling for second best.

After lengthy investigations and travel around the world sticking his nose where it did not belong, the Lone Grey Squirrel has found the source of the world's best and costliest coffee. This coffee is so exotic and exclusive that only about 450 kg (1000 pounds) is processed a year and it sells at up to USD 600 per pound.

Where is this coffee from? Well, it comes primarily from Indonesia, Philippines and to some extent from Vietnam. More importantly the beans that make up the coffee is excreted out of the bum of civet cats. I refer to the Kopi Luwak.

Why is this coffee the king of coffees? Well, to start with, the Asian Palm Civet is highly skilled at picking the best and ripest coffee berries which it then ingests. Then something about the enzymes in the gut of the civet cat reacts with the beans of the coffee which effectively reduces the coffee's bitterness and makes for a smoother coffee. So just to re-cap, the skill-fully picked coffee berries go in one end, the enzymes work on the beans and finally they pop out at the other end. Fortunately, these skilled workers work for next to nothing and have never unionised or else the price of this coffee could be even higher.

The Lone Grey Squirrel is then told that the poop is then collected, the semi-digested beans are taken out, washed and then lightly roasted and wallah ............the world's costliest coffee. I am told that the human workers who have to collect and wash the poop do demand a higher salary and are unionised.

Weasel Coffeee (Photo by LGS)

Now, I can practically hear some of you protesting that coffee isn't ...... well, isn't your cup of tea, so to speak. Don't worry, for the discerning tea drinker, we have found for you, "Monkey picked tea". In this case, there is no eating of the leaves and passing through the digestive system and any of that nonsense. No, this tea is special cause the monkeys are skilled at picking the youngest and tenderest leaves. Why do they do that? Well, let's just say that in the middle of the jungle, there just isn't any toilet paper. What is a civilised monkey supposed to use?

Monkey Tea (Photo by LGS)

Skilled Third World Coffee Picker and Processor

Picture has been licensed under a GFDL

LGS admits to telling the truth here and there and making up everything else. Ooops! Time for my coffee break.

Music for a Funk

2010-02-05T01:42:00.003+08:00

I am feeling a little down. My wife is away, traveling and I miss her. I got the flu. Work is piling up and so are the bills. And, there is conflict at work. I don't do conflict well. I guess you can say that I am in a funk. I had no idea what to post tonight but I went over The Walking Man's blog and something happened as I read his poem, TIRED OF BEING WET AND COLD?

The poem somehow reminded me of the lyrics of a song that was a particular favorite of mine when I went through my depression period. This 1969 song was sung by the singularly talented Peggy Lee and was written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. The song was inspired by the story "Disillusionment" by Thomas Mann, written in 1896. You know that you are depressed when even the greatest joys, greatest excitements and the greatest loss leaves you with nothing but a numb, empty feeling.

So in line with my current gloomy mood and my philosophy of "why should I suffer alone?", I would like to share this dark song which is ideal for stewing in a funk. For those of you who mistakenly thought that I was going to play funky music, you can leave now. It's music for a funk and not funky music.

What Do They Mean .........?

2010-01-31T12:03:00.006+08:00

"What DO they mean?" I came across this advertisement panel at my local shopping mall promoting a men's skin care facility. Another service for the enlightened metro-sexual male, no doubt. It even offers a facial and a tummy sculpting for the price of one procedure. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I could probably do with some tummy sculpturing but in my case, the end result will probably still not resemble hard and clearly chiseled sculpture abs like
that of Michelangelo's David; probably more like the abs on the Pilsbury Doughboy. But what really caught my attention was there pledge, boldly emblazoned across the advert, "Looking Good is Not an Option at MSC". Whatever DO they mean?

So, I may not be a hunk but at least I am cute.

Yes? Maybe? A little? Please?

Anyway, it got me thinking of a few examples of other similar failures to communicate appropriately in the English Language.

A common sign that you will see in Malaysian retail stores during our sales season reads, "Buy one free one". I remember one foreign tourist asking the sales clerk to explain; "If it is free, why do I have to buy it?" The intended message would be clearer if it said "Two for the price of one."

Sometimes, you can't be 100% sure that there was a mistake made or that the sign really does mean what it says. When the Petronas Twin Towers (previously the world's tallest building) first opened to the public, not all the lifts and escalators were fully operational. On one such lift which was meant to ferry visitors from the underground carpark up to the lobby was this sigh that read, "Lift is out of order. Any convenience is deeply regretted."

What do you think? A language error or the work of a sadistic maintenance worker?

Another favorite of mine was a sign at a teachers' training workshop which read like this; "After lunch, the Modern Maths workgroup will meet in the larger half of the hall."

The "larger half"? Is that what they mean by "modern" maths or is it that mathematics is finally reconciling itself to the fact that in this world, the reality is that all people are equal but some are more equal than others?

Here Lies Peter Rabbit And His Friends

2010-01-26T19:05:00.012+08:00

Note: If the title of this post intrigued you, I'm afraid you will have to read through this long post as I only refer to it at the end. Of course, you could scroll to the end, there-by bypassing all the tripe at the front but that would be cheating and just "not cricket" as the British would say.

One of my unusual hobbies is to visit and photograph cemeteries. Since I started blogging, I have met a few kindred spirits who share in this particular interest.

Of late, I have had very little opportunity to visit interesting graveyards or cemeteries. So during my recent visit to London last month, I was straining at the bit for an opportunity to visit the famous Highgate Cemetery in north London. Unfortunately, I was thwarted by the unholy combination of foul (wet, cold and miserable) weather, inconvenient public transport routes and schedules, and an unwillingness of the guides (which you need to follow if you want to visit the more interesting part of the cemetery) to brave the winter winds except on weekends.

It's a pity. Did you know that you can visit Karl Marx's grave at Highgate Cemetery? But then, some people dismiss it as just another "communist plot". "Communist plot", did you get it? I made a small joke.

Anyway, instead of Highgate Cemetery, I placed my sights on Brompton Cemetery which was just round the corner from where I was staying.

Entrance to Brompton Cemetery (LGS)

Brompton Cemetery is located near Earl's Court in West Brompton which is part of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. It was part of the Magnificent 7 which were a series of private cemeteries which were commissioned through Parliamentary Bill in 1832 to address the fact that the inner city church graveyards in London were overflowing as result of the big population boom in London in the early part of the 19th Century.

Architecturally, it is interesting as it tried to follow an European layout and the design of its small chapel was meant to mimic St. Peter's Basilica in Rome.

View of the Graves and Gravestones (LGS)

Today, the cemetery is managed by the Royal Parks and is open to the public to use as a park although funerals and burials still do occur. It is believed that there is in excess of 50,000 monuments and graves of every imaginable type. Below is a picture of a rather unusual and ornate copper clad coffin.

Ornate Copper Resting Place (LGS)

I particularly like monuments that rather imaginatively record the passing of entire families, like this one below.

The Cross Rises from the Family Plot (LGS)

The Chapel (LGS)

The Spirit Highway (LGS)

This cemetery is quite atmospheric and a real gem right in the middle of modern busy London. It is not surprising therefore that this has been used as a filming location for a number of movies including the films, "The Wisdom of Crocodiles", "Johnny English" and the newly released movie "Sherlock Holmes" (2009) starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law.

The Wilder Side of the Tracks (LGS)

There is a whole list of important and famous people who are buried here. For those of you who may be a dead celebrity watcher or a paparazzi who prefer a stationary target, you can follow this LINK for a list of the famous.

I was interested to learn that the Sioux Chief, Long Wolf, was buried here in 1892. He took part in a tour of the Europe as part of the Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show but died of pneumonia. He was buried with a 17 month old Indian girl named Star Ghost Dog who is believed to have fallen from her mother's arms while on horseback. He was finally re-interned on tribal land in South Dakota in 1997 after spending 105 years in England's wet and green lands.

The other notable thing about this place is that it is the resting place of many childhood favorites. It seems that the famous author, Beatrix Potter, lived nearby at 2 Bolton Gardens and was a frequent visitor to Brompton Cemetery. For years there were rumours that she derived some inspiration from what she saw there. In 2001, James Mackay, a member of the Friends of Brompton Cemetery decided to investigate using recently computerised cemetery records and found a startling number of Ms. Potter's story characters were interned there. There is, for example, Peter Rabbett as well as headstones for Mr. Nutkin (which of course inspired the creation of Squirrel Nutkin), Mr. McGregor (whose walled garden is believed to be modeled on the colonnades in Brompton Cemetery), Jeremiah Fisher, Tommy Brock and even a Tod (as opposed to the more commonly used "Todd").

The Nutkin Family (Photo by Rehan Qayoom)

That's me bravely investigating the spookier side of the cemetery. (LGS)

My Year, Baby!

2010-01-22T19:34:00.003+08:00

THE TIGER-SQUIRREL

Princeton's Mascot

It's finally here! My year, baby! On February 14th, the day of lovers (Grrrrr!), the Chinese Lunar Calender roars into the Year of the Tiger. This should tell you just how old I am because I was born in the Year of the Tiger and the Chinese Lunar calender follows a 12 year zodiac cycle.

So Just How Old is the "Grey" Squirrel?
a) Older than the Pyramids
b) Sweet 16
c) 36
d) 48
e) 60
(answers given at the end of the post)

Not only that, this is the first Year of the Tiger for the 21st Century and as a result, nations around the world are also observing 2010 as the Year of the Tiger; a year to push forward with the conservation and protection of the world's remaining 3,200 wild tigers.

So this is my year times two. My year! My year! This year's all mine. If any of you lesser mortals want to use this year for something like going on holidays, getting married or watching Olympics or World Cup football, you will have to ask us Tigers for permission. ........no, seriously. Permission. You may write to me for the appropriate application forms. Permission will not be unreasonably withheld but a little bribe will go a long way towards speeding up the application process. Hint.

Thanks to a number of fellow bloggers and especially SquirrelMama, I came to learn that yesterday, January 21st, was Squirrel Appreciation Day. Wow, a special day for my squirrel alter ego right in the midst of my double Tiger year. Looks like everything is coming up daisies and daffodils. So what did you do yesterday to show your appreciation of squirrels? Don't worry if you did not do anything. It is not too late to make amends. Like any major religious holiday, Squirrel Appreciation Day have some traditions to help you celebrate the day. Here are some suggestions;

1. Bird proof all your bird feeders and leave it to the squirrels.
2. Give out specially knitted woolly jumpers for squirrels on account of the unusually cold winter.
3. De-claw and de-fang your cats.
4. Spend at least a tenth of your grocery monies on nuts for your squirrel friends.
5. Leave everything in your will to the Lone Grey Squirrel Charitable Fund for World Domination.
6. Vote for Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakquel to win the Oscar.
7. Petition for Lone Grey Squirrel to win a Nobel Prize.

I hope these suggestions have been helpful. If you do some of these, I might consider sharing my year with you.

Here are the answers to the quiz above. If you answered;

a) Why you evil and vile creature! I banish you from this year.

b) That is too deluded even for me and you're not very good at maths, are you?

c) I like you.

d) MUST you always be right!

e) Be warned! Squirrels will pelt you with nuts as you walk by.

Disclaimer: If this year turns out to be a terrible year, I blame Climate Change ........and Avatar! Nothing has been the same since Avatar. If God intended us to watch movies in 3D, we would have been born with 3D glasses.

Squirrel's Secret Spot 14 : Regent Canal and Camden Locks

2010-01-06T01:09:00.014+08:00

Hi folks. Sorry I have been away for so long. It hasn't been a great start to the year for me so far and that included being so swamped with work that I haven't been able to even go see "Avatar" for the last three weeks. But that is not the focus of today's post.

Instead, I want to carry on with my series of posts about my recent trip to London, England and coincidentally also add the 14th installment of Squirrel's Secret Spots from around the world (which is another series that I have not posted on for quite awhile).

Well, one fine winter day (which means typical wet, cold and miserable in England), having sated my appetite for tourist attractions and bored myself silly, window shopping along Oxford Street for the umpteenth time, I followed my nose (which was buried in a tour guide) and found myself at a rather interesting place.

I took the Underground to Camden Town, got out and went in the wrong direction and ended walking along the northern end of Regent's Park and took a circuitous route that almost took me back where I started but only after a walk of about 30 minutes. But I did not really mind apart from the bitter wind blowing because this route led me to walk along the blissfully charming Regent's Canal.

The Regent's Canal is a great place in summer to take a water tour by historical canal narrowboats from the Industrial Revolution period of the 19th Century. There is also a tow path that remains open for long walks in relative solitude long after the boating season is over. As the canal meanders its way between fields and buildings, walking along its towpath is like stepping back in time. I am a big fan of canals and canal boats. The calm surroundings, the brightly and gaily painted narrowboats, the often eccentric boat owners as well as the beautiful houses and buildings along the way would be more than enough to make me score this place very highly.

Stepping Back in Time (LGS)

Narrowboats (LGS)

Someone's Traveling Home (LGS)

However, the Regent Canal walk rewards its adventurers by leading them to the Camden Locks. This area was once the confluence of a number of different transportation modes. The Locks themselves were important to allow the canal boats to go upstream to a higher water level. Nearby there were the Camden Stables where many horses were kept. Also nearby are a couple of railway bridges which mark another important transportation mode. At sometime in its history, the area became depressed and many of these facilities fell into disuse. But more recently, the whole area has been revived with a mixture of recreational boating and a lively outdoor and indoor market scene, rich in arts, crafts and souvenirs.

Sure some of the stuff was tacky but a lot of the others were quite imaginative. My wife bought some Lithuanian amber at a great price. I, in turn was rewarded with a taste of Moroccan cuisine for less than 4 pounds sterling. Wonderful. And I ate it sitting on these cute seats made to look like mini-scooters and with a great view of the canal.

I loved it. I'd go back again. And so Regent Canal and Camden Lock Market makes it on to the Squirrel's Secret Spots' list.

Camden Locks in Action (LGS)

Art Climbing the Walls (LGS)

Camden Lock - Also Good Shopping (LGS)

Even the Stables Now Host Shops (LGS)

Art Galloping off the Walls (LGS)

Mini-Scooters by the Canal (LGS)

Oops! I Did It Again

2010-01-03T21:06:00.003+08:00

I made the following post exactly a year ago but it would seem that somethings never change and it is as relevant today as it was a year ago.......Sadly.

IS TO STOP PROCRASTINATING!

Oh, and may I take this opportunity to wish you all a belated "Happy New Year's" greeting.

London Revisited; The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

2009-12-28T23:11:00.011+08:00

I am back in Malaysia and already in the real world of work, bills and responsibilities. My break in London was a good one though and i come back well rested and recharged.

As promised, I will be posting about this adventure. To start with, I thought I would give you an introduction and a general review which I will call the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of London today compared to the London I knew 25 years ago.

The Good
There were quite a few pleasant surprises. I arrived at Heathrow Airport at a terminal that I had never been before and was pleasantly surprised at the ease and efficiency of the place. This was quite different from the chaos that I remember from 13 years ago and given the increase of security procedures since 9/11, quite impressive. It was rather a long walk to the Underground train station but then the train whisked me effortlessly through the early morning right to Piccadilly Circus. I walked out into the crisp cold morning air and into a city that was just awakening to the rhythm of a new day. It was a good start.

Just a short 200 m walk and I reached the hotel and had a great reunion with my wife who had been traveling separately for the last fortnight on work assignment. I don't like it when we are apart so the re-union was very good.

Eros at Piccadilly Circus in the early morning (LGS)

I spent the first few days in and around Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, Leicester Square, Soho Chinatown and Covent Garden. Generally, all of these experiences were good. I was particularly impressed with Trafalgar Square. It used to be pigeon and dove infested and felt very cold and unfriendly. Visitors spent their time avoiding the stale bird droppings on the ground and on the statues and ducking the aerial bombardment with the hot and fresh variety. Well, the birds are mostly gone and the space is very people friendly now. It feels more like a space that belongs to the people and to be used by the people.

I got a similar impression about the museums and the parks. They have begun to lose their stiff institutional demeanor and become more of a place to serve the public needs. Hence there were Christmas fairs in the park and open air ice rinks outside the august Natural History Museum. London has become less stuffy and more alive. Covent Garden too has become more organic and brimming with innovation and spirit. This new London is more fun and youthful.

Trafalgar Square (LGS)

Covent Garden (LGS)

Reindeer, both artificial and real at Covent Garden (LGS)

Carnival rides (Leicester Square) (LGS)

Skating rink outside the Natural History Museum (LGS)

Outdoor Ice Rinks - grooming future Torvil and Dean's (LGS)

The food scene has also improved tremendously but that still doesn't mean that London is where you would go for a culinary experience. The improvement is in the fact there are more reasonably priced variety available with an increased emphasis on fresh ingredients. For example, the chain, Pret a Manger, offers exciting variety of sandwiches which are a world apart from the traditional fried foods of yesteryear.

The Bad
As time has marched on, London has also lost some of its traditional charm. The traditional fish and chips shop has become a rarity. Most have either closed down or have morphed into a more up-market establishment (meaning costlier). I finally did find one traditional chippie way out in Fulham Broadway that served it just the way I remembered it. You are more likely to find Indian food round the corner.

I had hoped that the quaint but functioning fresh produce market that I used to shop at near Fulham Broadway would still be there with its individualistic and colorful stalls scattered along a narrow lane. A form of the market can still be found but it no longer lies within the atmospheric side lane but on the pavement of the main road itself. The supermarkets also seem to stock less of fresh produce and more of ready meals.

I went to visit my alta mater and had mixed feelings seeing the old student's residence (which was a dump) converted now to choice apartments along the swanky King's Road in Chelsea. Good to see the fire station which was the scene of many student-firemen water fights during orientation week is still there though.

The Ugly
And finally, there was the ugly. Well, there wasn't really a lot of that. I guess the ugliest thing was the cold, wet rainy weather that I had to had to contend with for most of my stay and which resulted in me having a bad cough. But then again, cold wet rainy and miserable weather is part of the quintessential London winter experience so one really can't complain, can one?

Carols from Trafalgar Square

2009-12-24T23:29:00.007+08:00

Christmas Carolling at Trafalgar Square, 2009

The Christmas Tree from Oslo

One of the highlights of my current re-visit of London is Trafalgar Square. This historical square at one point used to be filthy and pigeon and dove infested. This has all changed and it has been transformed into a truly people friendly spot worthy of being a focal point for travelers and Londoners alike in the very heart of the city.

For many years, the people of Oslo send a tree as a gift to the people of London and it is erected at Trafalgar Square. There, under the watchful eye of Nelson's statue and just across the way from the St. Martin's in the Field church, the tree is often the spot from which choirs and carolers sing and celebrate Christmas, the birth of Christ. It is a wonderful location and passer-bys get to sit on the steps leading from the National Gallery into the Square while enjoying the performances and singing along.

My wife and I were fortunate to be there on such an evening recently. The video below is of the same event in 2008. I have also included a video of Josh Groban singing one of my favorite carols, "O Holy Night", which he is singing from Rockerfeller Center, the New York City equivalent of Trafalgar Square.

And so, dear friends, may I wish you a blessed Christmas from Trafalgar Square. May the light of love and hope that shone in Bethlehem's streets, shine also in your life. God bless.

Cold Day in Copenhagen / A Critically Warm Earth

2009-12-20T20:33:00.004+08:00

Villager in Navua, Fiji, at his ancestral burial ground,
which is now covered by the sea at high tide due to rising sealevels.

I was forced to interrupt the planned regular program of posts which would have been on the on-going series about my trip to London to bring to you this important message:

WHAT WERE OUR WORLD LEADERS THINKING?!?!?!

It was a cold, cold day in Copenhagen when the recent Conference of Parties on Climate Change ended with no binding agreement on how to reduce the global levels of greenhouse gases. Leaders from some 190 countries met but failed to put the needs of the world first before selfish individual nationalistic aspirations.

There was no binding agreement to reduce levels of greenhouse gases effectively and there was no agreement to provide the USD 300 billion already believed to be needed to counter the effect of climate change and to equip the poorer countries to be part of the solution.

Cosmologist and mathematician Stephen W. Hawking said global warming has eclipsed other threats to the planet, such as terrorism. "Terror only kills hundreds or thousands of people," Hawking said. "Global warming could kill millions. We should have a war on global warming rather than the war on terror."

But it seems all the world leaders are unable to play fair and work together to solve the climate change problems. Several images come to mind.

Image 1: "All the world's leaders and all the kings couldn't put the world back together again" (with apologies to Humpty Dumpty )

Image 2: "Our leaders fiddled with numbers while the world burned" (with no apologies to Nero)

Image 3: "Let's not scare the people and ruin our economy" (with no apologies to all the villainous, bureaucrats/mayors/leaders from Hollywood disaster movies like Jaws and others where they ignore the warning of scientists).

Let's tell our leaders that we don't want this sort of "business as usual" leadership. We truly need someone to come and rise up to this emergency and we all need to support them.

Climate Change is already going to cause death, suffering and economic lost. We need action and not more hot air from self serving politicians.

London Revisited: Omens

2009-12-17T22:38:00.008+08:00

Dear friends,

Here I am with my first post of several about my trip to London. I studied there and graduated some 25 years ago and as one dear friend quipped, "Why, that's longer than the sentence that most people get sentenced for man-slaughter." Great. Such a sweet comparison.

As I mentioned in my last post, this trip was my first real opportunity to visit London and to meet some friends since then. Many of you would have perceived that I had mixed feelings about this trip; a mixture of excitement and apprehension about what changes I would find.

Interestingly, if you believe in omens, there were two signs that did in fact represent my experience and reinforced my mixed feelings. For the first part of my trip, I stayed at a hotel and then in the second part of the trip, in a self-service apartment.

The first omen, was this sign that greeted me as I stepped out of the lift before reaching my hotel room. It had a very foreboding message and reminded me of that famous phrase, "abandon all hope, all ye who enter here".

NO ESCAPE

Indeed I had a few bad experiences and disappointments in the first part of my trip but things did improve and I began to really enjoy myself in the second part. I was not surprised because I was uplifted by what I saw when I entered the lift at my self service apartment. The second omen was one of hope.

SCHINDLER'S LIFT

Lift - List. Get it? Schindler's Lift? Get it?

Now I don't believe in omens but I do believe in a God with a sense of humour leaving little messages for me. :)

A Brave New Adventure

2009-11-26T23:51:00.003+08:00

Unrecognisable Hugh Laurie

Half a lifetime ago, I spent 5 years in the British Isles; three of those years as a poor University student in London and apart from a short stopover, I have not been back to visit for 20 years. Very shortly, I will be making that trip and I will be meeting up with old friends for the very first time since.

I am excited and a little apprehensive at what I will find. I already know that at least one of my old haunts have fallen under the wheels of progress and the relentless march of time. Will old memories come flooding back or will I find I no longer have a connection with this great city.

The London and indeed the Britain I knew must be quite different from what they are today. Mine was a Britain under the iron rule of Margaret Thatcher; a Britain where the fish and chippie shop was still common place; a country that still faced the problem of terrorist attacks from the IRA (I was nearby when bombs went off outside Harrod's Department Store); a country whose Queen was almost uniformly respected and adored; a country that fought a risky but (most people would agree) justified war for the Falklands; and finally, a country where Hugh Laurie played the straight-laced and proper mommy's boy sidekick to Rowan Atkinson in the Black Adder TV series.

Today, the time of Thatcher is like a distant memory. The fish and chip shop has been largely replaced by curry and rice shops. Thankfully, there is hope of a lasting peace in Ireland but London has been attacked by Islamic terrorists instead. The once unsullied Queen has suffered much bad publicity over her relationship with Princess Diana. Today, a commission is investigating the reasons why Tony Blair's government committed the country to an unpopular and possibly unjustified war in Iraq. And Hugh Laurie is almost unrecognisable as the caustic and cankerous Doctor House in the American TV series.

I have not seen the Millennium Bridge (or indeed any of the Millennium projects), the Princess Diana memorial, the London Eye, the Gerkhin etc. I'm hoping the old open air market in Fulham is still there. I'm hoping the kebab place near Golder's Green tube station still sells the best kebabs ever. I'm hoping to visit my old University residence and find it largely unchanged. I'm hoping Somerset Cider is as delicious as I remember it. I'm hoping that U.K. food standards have improved!

Most of all, I am hoping my old friendships will pick up where we left off some twenty years ago. Wish me luck.

Space Opera

2009-11-22T15:10:00.004+08:00

No one will ever mistakenly accuse me of being high-browed and cultured. I certainly don't track with the black tie penguin suits of high society. Sadly, this extends beyond my lack of interest in participating in the extravagant social rituals of the aristocracy and my lack of money to pursue them. I genuinely do not seem to know how to enjoy or appreciate some of the things that are adored by this set. For example, I do not see the fuss made about foie gras. Please, it's liver! Apart from the debate about whether it is ethical to force feed the ducks to get the fatty liver which is made into foie gras (in humans, a fatty liver is medically a diseased liver), I never liked eating my liver and onions and hiding what it is behind a foreign (non-English) name still does not hide its intense liver taste.

Another thing that brands me solidly as a Philistine squirrel is my lack of appreciation of opera. Wikipedia says that "Opera is an art form in which singers and musicians perform a dramatic work combining text (called a libretto) and musical score. The word opera means "work" in Italian (it is the plural of Latin opus meaning "work" or "labour") suggesting that it combines the arts of solo and choral singing, declamation, acting and dancing in a staged spectacle." Hmmm. Well, that just sounds like a musical just like "West Side Story" or "Phantom of the Opera" but in a different language (just like the foie gras case).

Now, don't get me wrong. I love the modern musical. I just don't understand why people pay top dollar, get dressed to the nines and go an see a musical which tells a story in a foreign language that I can only understand from reading the souvenir program which I have to purchase separately at an extortionist rate.

It probably did not help that my early introduction to Opera was something from Wagner's Ring Cycle based on German and Norse mythology. It is of course sung in German, and as I remember it, sung by big women wearing fake blond wigs with pig-tails, armoured breasts (like Madonna's) and horned helmets. Even one of its more famous songs, "The Ride of the Valkyries", made no sense to me in German. It only became a song that I could really appreciate when it was used in a media that I could appreciate; and that was as the song "Kill the Wabbit" sung by Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny. Now who said Saturday morning cartoons cannot be educational!

However, if Elmer and Bugs helped me to begin to understand opera, the one performance that really opened my eyes to the true wonders and possibility of Opera was the stunning performance of the Albanian songstress, Inva Mula Tchako, who was the voice behind the character Diva Plavalaguna in the movie "The Fifth Element". In it she sings an aria from Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor (the mad scene), and “The Diva dance” song. I may still not understand the language but the way it is presented certainly helped me appreciate it. Allow me to share this song with you. For those serious Philistines like me, try to hang on till at least the 3.28 minute mark when a transformation occurs.

Double Blast from the Past

2009-11-19T21:37:00.004+08:00

It is the habit of squirrels to bury nuts in the ground and when they think the nuts have sufficiently "aged", to dig them up again. On this flimsy pretext, I occasionally "dig up" an old post that I feel deserves to see the light of day again. On this particular occasion, I dug up a couple of posts from almost exactly 3 years ago which is soon after I first started blogging. I present the following unburied nuts from November and December 2006.

Cujo - or why I don't like cats

Photo credit: bellasproofs2

Squirrels don’t like cats which I think is obvious. It has to do with the way cats are always trying to catch, kill or maim squirrels. However, even my human alter ego is not fond of cats. The reason for this is ……..Cujo.

In the following story, none of the names have been changed to make sure that the guilty are fully embarrassed. There was a time when I shared a small apartment with this dude, Frank, and his cat, Poney. Poney is your typical calico tabby who had been quite used to being the queen of the house with all her needs taken care off and pampered. This living arrangement worked well until that fateful day when Frank called me into the kitchen to introduce me to this cute kitten he had rescued from the local pound.

He called him some sugary sweet name like Prince or Peaches. I cannot remember what it was caused he was soon dubbed Cujo which suited him so . But wait, I hear you protest! “Cujo is not a cat, but a mad dog.’ Believe me when I say that I have not met a cat or a dog before or since which was more psychotic and deserving of the name, Cujo.

Cujo was a very young kitten, barely a quarter the size of Poney. He had the red, orange and white colors of a tiger and had both a tiger’s ferocity and appetite. He also introduced fleas into the house and despite dousing him in powder, I would be tormented by itchy bites for weeks. Frank was oblivious to this, entranced as he was by Cujo’s playfulness and energy. Poney and I both knew there was something evil about this kitten.

Poney was the first victim. Cujo plotted to get rid of her. Despite Poney’s size, Cujo took to bullying her at meal times. At first, we would feed them both from separate bowls in the kitchen. That did not work as Cujo would chase Poney away and eat both portions. We then tried distracting Cujo by feeding him upstairs and then feeding Poney downstairs in the kitchen. That also failed because Cujo would actually run up and down the stairs to deprive Poney of either. Then, I locked him in my room while Poney fed in peace and I was rewarded by a well sculptured, steaming mass of cat poop on my bed. Poney loss some weight before we found the solution of locking Poney in a kitchen cupboard with her food where Cujo could not get to her. Apart from meals, Cujo continued to persecute Poney, chasing her from all her favourite spots in the house.

Cujo then decided to move up the food chain and targeted me. His campaign started by regular poop bombardments on my bed. After the fifth time, I declared my room a high security area, a cat free zone and made sure my door was closed 24/7. Frank apologized for his kitten's antics but remained bewitched.

One evening, I was in the kitchen and had a frying pan on the stove and I was frying up a batch of my famously delicious Malaysian Fried Rice. I had fried all the spices, onions and vegetables and had just added the rice. I was stirring the mixture to ensure it cooked without burning or sticking to the bottom of the pan. Cujo jumps up on to the dishwasher which is some distance away but at the same level as the stove and from that vantage point shows interest in my culinary efforts. I wave my spatula at him and tried to shoo him but he ignored me. Then, in a flash, he jumped across and into my frying pan!!! To my surprise, Cujo landed with all four evil paws on my fried rice, stood there and began to eat the meal. That was the last straw. I threw away my delicious smelling fried rice which was now marked by Cujo’s paw prints, laced with some of his red hair and I suspected, also fortified with grit from the kitty litter. Defeated, I left Cujo to rule the kitchen while I went out into the cold autumn night to buy my dinner from the Chinese takeaway.

Cujo, probably decided that at this point he was just one step from being the top cat in the house and started to turn his attention on Frank. He started with sudden playful bites on Frank’s ankles. Frank adapted for awhile during which he would walk in a funny high-stepping manner to make his ankles a harder target. Frank liked to lounge around the house in his terry-cloth robe with nothing underneath. This made it a painful experience when Cujo invented the game of jump onto the robe and start climbing with all claws employed. Even then, Frank was stoic and refused to condemn the cute kitty. Cujo then escalated his campaign by leaving poop on Frank’s bed, in his shoes and on the morning newspaper.

One winter evening about 2 months after Cujo entered our lives, I came in from the cold into the warmth of the kitchen. Frank was standing by the dishwasher in his robe, drinking tea and the newspaper. Poney was curled up on a chair. Everything was peaceful. Without looking up from his paper, Frank said, “I went to the pound today and told them I had found this abandoned kitten and I gave them a donation and asked if they could find it a good home.”

Life was sweet after that but I often wonder whether Cujo lives on, tormenting some other poor household. Sends shivers down my spine.

Attention Cat-Lovers

In the interest of Blogging peace, Lone Grey Squirrel, hopes to assure all readers, visitors and cats that he does not really hate cats (just "demon cats" called Cujo).

To demonstrate, his sincerity, Lone Grey Squirrel can be seen here apologising to a representative of cat-kind (but only behind the safety of plate glass window!!!!!).

Photo credit: oddAnimals.com

Orphaned

2009-11-16T18:48:00.006+08:00

At Home with the Lord and Re-united at Last.

My father passed away in 2007 at the age of 93. Just a few days ago, on the 3rd of November, my mother, at the age of 87, followed him into heaven. It was almost exactly 2 years and a month later. Suddenly, even though I am a middle aged man, I feel like I have been orphaned.

My parents were a very loving couple and so very co-dependent that when my dad passed away, there were many from within family and friends who thought that my mother would not last very long. Well, she carried on for another 2 years. It was not an easy two years though. Even though she had no shortage of family, friends and visitors, it was clear that she missed him very much and had a loneliness and an emptiness that none of us was able to fill.

When they were both younger, she would always ask my dad to promise to allow her to die first for the very fact that she felt she could not bear being alone in the world without him. Very good naturedly, my father would assure her that he would definitely not go first so she was assured that he would be there to take care of her. However, as it turned out, that was one promise he was not able to keep.

And so, I think these last two years were perhaps for my mom a very sad and lonely time. There were, of course, happy days during this period. She particularly enjoyed the visits of her grandchildren. She still had a good appetite and was still able to enjoy her favorites like barbequed pork, fried banana fritters and durian fruit. On her penultimate day on earth, she asked me to get her some satay (seasoned meat skewers grilled over a charcoal fire) for dinner. To my everlasting regret, I was not able to do so because of heavy rain. She even placed an order with my brother for an Indian specialty called mee rebus for lunch the next day; and not any mee rebus but one from a particular shop that she used to take us to as kids.

Yet despite her relatively good appetite, she was extremely malnourished. I suppose, the scientific explanation would be that she was not able to absorb enough of the nutrients. However, our hearts tell us that she was sad and just wanted to move on.

She took to her bed and began to cut her ties to the world about three months ago. Perhaps the second anniversary of my father's passing weighed more heavily on her than we had imagined. A doctor examined her that very morning and declared that her lungs were clear and her heart beat was incredibly strong for someone her age. By noon, she had breathed her last, for no other reason perhaps than that she was ready, nay, desirous to go.

I am glad that she is beyond this period of loneliness and suffering. I believe that she is now home in heaven with God and reunited with my father; altogether in a much happier place and at peace.

For me though, the world seems a more dangerous and wild place as if a great source of love and light had been extinguished. Even though like all children, I sought to establish my independence from my parents, deep down I was always glad and relieved to know that their love and support was a constant in this tumultuous life. And now, with them both gone, I cannot help feeling like a 47 year old orphan.

To family and friends, I thank you for all your love shown. I thank you for your faithful visits to my mother, for your prayers, support, kind words and actions. God bless you all.

The Oily Man

2009-11-02T23:12:00.003+08:00

"Oozing charm from every pore,

He oiled his way around the floor.

Every trick that he could play,

He used to strip her mask away."
lyrics from "You Did It" (My Fair Lady)

Those lyrics tell of a slick operator with perhaps too much grease in his hair, applying his smooth moves to charm and disarm the ladies. I have always liked those few lines of prose. I find it amusing. But this "oily man" is quite benign compared to the one that this post is primarily about.

Still in keeping with the Halloween spirit which is sticking around like peanut candy between the teeth, I am going to share with you the story of one of the Malay legends. I refer to the "orang Minyak" or Oily Man.

The Oily Man is basically a man who creeps about at night, completely naked and covered in black oil. The oil covering makes him hard to see in the dark and also makes him very slippery which helps him evade capture and also helps him squeeze pass tight spaces such as between the bars on a window.

There were in fact a rash of burglaries and rapes in Malaysia in the 1960s which were committed by men who had disrobed and covered themselves with oil and grease. Such cases still surface from time to time even till today. The perpetrators in these cases are entirely human.

However, the legendary Oily Man is said to be supernatural in nature. He is said to be able to be virtually invisible in the dark. Some say that he is also able to slip through spaces too small for humans to do so. It is said that the Oily Man had made a pact with the Devil. In return for giving him supernatural powers and wordly desires, the Oily Man must rape 21 virgins in 7 days.

A typical story would occur in a house or a dormitory where there may be more than one woman asleep in the room. The room may be locked and though the windows are open, they are secured with wooden bars or metal grilles. No ordinary intruder can enter but then the Oily Man is far from ordinary. He is able to slip through those bars while the girls sleep.

One of the women who is a virgin may suddenly awake to see a dark form over her with penetrating eyes which are visible even in the dark. She finds she can neither struggle or cry out. She is subsequently raped. Finally, she screams and her room mates rush to her assistance. It may be that they never see the orang minyak because it is said that he is able to make himself invisible to others apart from his victim. Alternatively, the orang minyak may be seen but he eludes capture on account of his slippery oiled skin and is able to escape via squeezing out through the window bars.

Till today, we sometimes hear of cases or incidents in female student or worker dormitories which are classified by authorities as examples of mass hysteria or are they really attacks by Orang Minyak.

Monsters Wanted Bad

2009-10-30T22:34:00.010+08:00

Remember when men were real men, women were real damsels in distress and the monsters were real scary evil monsters. Ah, the good old days. As Halloween rolls by this year, it just isn't the same anymore. It makes a decent horror fan want to shout out; "Where have all the Monsters gone?"

Monsters are meant to lurk in the dark corners of our mind or in the dark basements of our homes from where they go on a rampage of mindless maiming and killing of innocents just because that is what they do and they are good at it. However, these days, our beloved monsters have been given a makeover by the spin doctors of Madison Avenue.

Let's start with Vampires. The two top hottest TV/Movie Vampire franchises at the moment are True Blood and Twilight. In True Blood, a synthetic human blood substitute has been created which means that vampires don't have to suck on a living human anymore and so many Vampires try to mainstream and become like any other normal citizen but they face discrimination, social profiling and prejudices. It is the new civil rights movement; "Equal Rights for the Victimised Vampires." If homosexuals fought to come out of the closet, vampires now fight to come out of the coffin, so to speak. Twilight takes the idea of the harmless vampire even further by introducing the concept of "vegetarian" vampires who choose not to harm humans.
Hmmm. So far from being the scary creature of the night penned by Bram Stoker, vampires it seem are socially disadvantaged, misunderstood and deprived of their rights. Heck, they can even be "vegetarian".

Werewolves or shape shifters were always my most favorite of the evil night creatures. But again, the modern werewolf is less primal beast and more sexy man and puppy dog charms. True Blood's Sam Merlotte changes into a cute puppy dog. Twilight's Jacob is a big hit with the ladies but his wolf persona also seems very much domesticated canine rather than vicious beast.

Sam shaved (L) and unshaved (R)

Jacob's Wolf impression isn't so impressive.

And so it goes. One by one all our favorite monsters have been emasculated and given a metrosexual makeover. Below are some of the taglines that are being used to change the way we view monsters.

DRACULA :- Just a tall, very,very dark and handsome romantic stranger in the night.

Werewolves:- In every man, there is a puppy dog trying to come out.

Frankenstein's monster:- A victim of a bad plastic surgeon. It could happen to any of you and has happened to many in L.A.

Witches:- Girls just wanna have fun.

The Squirrel wishes they would leave our monsters alone. Let them be the monsters that scared us in our childhood. Let them be all that they can be. Let them be BAD.

(Squirrel wants to know which is your all time favorite monster. Please take the poll on the side)

Still Monitoring the Airwaves

2009-10-26T10:47:00.004+08:00

Dear friends, readers and wandering visitors,

You may or may not have been wondering where the squirrel has been for most of the last month. Either way, the answer to my disappearance can be summed up in one foul four-letter word; "WORK".

Even so, in whatever small slivers of time that I could scrounge, I have kept monitoring your various blogs. I was able to do this by applying the latest available satellite dish technology available to the squirrel kingdom (as seen below). This special program is called S.E.T.I. or Squirrels Eavesdropping on The Internet.

Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel's SETI program

Well, here are a list of excuses for not posting that have been cleared by my PR team.

I was overworked and have been working almost every day for the last month.
I was overworked and I have been working some 16 hour days for most of the month.
I was overworked and I was also traveling to places with no internet access.
I was overworked and I preferred to use my spare time to eat, sleep and use the toilet.
I was overworked and declared mentally unstable ("disturbed" was the term used by the doctor) and it is hard to type on the laptop while tied up in a straitjacket.
I was overworked and I fell asleep on my laptop and drooled into my key board and shorted it out.
I was overworked and so tired that it was difficult to type on the laptop as all the letters on the keyboard began to look like alien hieroglyphics.
I was overworked and drank so much coffee to stay awake that I had coffee rings round my eyes which somehow made it hard for me to read the computer screen.
I was overworked and distracted by all the tiny fairies and goblins that I was seeing all over the place.
I was overworked and my mind was too confused to0 come up with good excuses for not posting earlier.

However, as I have said, my lack of posting does not mean that I have not been monitoring the blogosphere and keeping in touch with the latest in weird news from around the world. To prove this, I offer the following as a remark on two rather sad and strange recent incidents.

Well, fairly recent incidents. C'mon, give this overworked squirrel a break.

A Zimbabwean Story

2009-09-29T00:38:00.006+08:00

It seems that Jo at A Majority of Two is in need of good cheer in the form of jokes. As a gentleman squirrel, I felt duty bound to respond.

Tonight, I would like to share with you a Zimbabwean joke which I recently learned from a Zimbabwean student friend which again features a particular problem in that country.

There is a city on the western mountains of Zimbabwe which is relatively prosperous but on one occassion, it had a terrible problem. All the monkeys from the surrounding mountains all came into the city and caused a great pandemonium. The Mayor called out the army and the police and they came out fully armed and bristling with guns, ready to cull the monkeys.

However, a staff of the National Wildlife Department intervened, saying that the monkeys were rare and endangered so they could not be shot. The Mayor did not know what to do, given those circumstance.

So the army and police were both milling around due to the lack of instructions when a man appeared, claiming he could talk to monkeys and could rid the city of the monkeys. The Mayor asked him to proceed.

The man went to the city centre and whistled and all the monkey gathered round him. He said something to them and the monkeys all turned to look at the police and army men and nodded their heads solemny. Then the monkeys began to disperse.

The man whistled and again the monkeys came round him. He said something else to the monkeys and this time the monkeys all broke up laughing until some were hysterically rolling on the floor. Once again, the monkey began to disperse.

The man whistled and gathered them a third time. This time he said something and all the monkeys fled the city and returned to the mountains.

The Mayor was pleased and rewarded the man handsomely. The police chief however, stopped the man and insisted that the man explain what he had said to the monkeys.

The man said, "the first time, I called the monkeys together and told them that all the men with guns were soldiers and police and that their job was to uphold justice in the land. The monkeys then nodded in silent respect.

The second time I called the monkeys, I told the monkeys how much you were being paid to be the noble defenders of the law and they laughed.

The third time, I merely said that you had come to recruit them to join the army and police and that is why they all ran away!

Kat Wants Bugs

2009-09-23T00:43:00.002+08:00

Here is a collage of some photos that I took at a Butterfly Farm in Penang. This is for you, Kat.

Ramblin' on the La Rambla

2009-09-19T15:57:00.004+08:00

Here is another post in my series on Barcelona, Spain. I had previously done an introduction to Barcelona entitled "Barcelona Uno" and had also posted on the amazing work of art and architecture which is Sagrada Familia.

This time, I present for your viewing pleasure, a video on La Rambla which is a 1.2 km long tree-lined pedestrian mall which stretches from the old Barri Gotic to the El Raval part of town. More importantly, it is a street alive with interesting architecture and exciting city life. A favorite with locals and tourists alike, it is like walking on the pulse of the city.

If you ever get to visit Barcelona, this is as good place as any to start orientating to the local lifestyle. This video highlights the attractions on the street including architecture, crafts, food, street performers, monuments and the famous Mercat de la Boqueria (iconic fresh produce market). Also keep a look out for my wife who will be "cleverly" hidden thoughout the video cause she is "internet shy".

Oh, by the way, someone has done a photo portrait of the Lone Grey Squirrel. Please drop by using this link, Portrait of LGS, and let me know what you think.

Reflecting on 47

2009-09-14T21:35:00.004+08:00

"Do not try this at home".

Well, this is the first day after my 47th birthday and the first day of the rest of my life. I was completely pampered by my wife this last weekend and had a very nice gourmet meal at a fancy restaurant yesterday. So in many ways, life has been good.

However, as usual, I get introspective at these times. And as I took some time to reflect upon my life thus far, I feel very blessed, happy and contented.

My career hasn't turned out the way I expected but I have had fun doing it (for the most part) and come close to the top of my eventual career path. More important to me is that I feel that I have been fortunate to have participated in some projects that have brought benefits to the community.

I am happily married and my social life is quite satisfactory. Financially, I suffer the fate of working for a non-profit organisation. As such, I am not rolling in money but again, I am comfortable and thankful for that.

I have for a long time held that the secret of happiness is to be content and I find that it has worked well for me. However, one has to wonder if someone can be too content.

There is the anecdotal tale of the experiment where a frog is placed in a pan of water. As long as the water is heated gently so that its temperature increases very slowly, the frog will adapt to the slowly increasing heat and not sense danger. In this way, the frog will make no attempt to escape and will eventually be boiled alive. (Please do not try this at home).

The scientific accuracy of the story is doubtful but the story serves to warn against our tendency to accept small changes and not be alerted to its potential danger until it is too late.

Perhaps this is the inherent problem of being content; that we fail to make decisions or take actions which might further enrich our lives. Being content should not mean that we should have no dreams or aspirations.

Therefore, I think I should be more pro-active in making positive changes in my spiritual life, in my family life, social life and at work. In each, I hope to have a more positive impact on those around me; to build up my personal relationship with God and to be more of an agent of His love.

So as I begin the rest of my life, this is the pledge that I make to myself. After all, I don't want to end up as a boiled frog!

Adventures in the Fast Lane

2009-09-03T23:11:00.003+08:00

Fast Food?

I apologise if you have lured you here under false pretenses. From the title of the post, you might have thought that this post is about living the life of the rich and famous ...... it is not. Or you might have thought that it would be the confessions of a drug abuser and speed addict ....... but you would be wrong. Or you might have expected tales from the life of a race car driver ...... but you would be disappointed.

Instead, I am writing about fasting. Fasting is the the act of willingly abstaining from some or all food, drink, or both, for a period of time. It is now the month of Rahmadan during which Muslims all of the world fast from sunrise to sunset. No food or liquid should be ingested during the fasting period and this even means spitting out saliva instead of swallowing it.
The purpose of fasting is for Muslims to gain more noble values by gaining control of their natural desires and passions. Some Muslim friends have also explained that fasting makes them more appreciative of the suffering of those less fortunate.

Have you fasted before? I have four tales of fasting from my own experiences.

Tale No: 1 (The Early Years)
My first experience with fasting was in my early teens, when as a young Christian, I took part in prayer and fasting sessions. The purpose was to meet in groups to encounter God and to pray for issues and for one another. Aternating between periods of singing praises to God, silent devotion and prayer, these sessions would last from morning to evening (about 6 hours). We would often miss lunch as a result. The idea of fasting in this case was to put communion with God first before even our earthly desires. We used to do this about once a month and I actually enjoyed these sessions very much. Of course, not eating for just 6 hours isn't really a very long time but it was my first experiences in fasting.

When I was at University, I also took part in a couple of these fast to feed the world programs. The idea is to skip lunch and to donate your lunch money to a food aid charity.
Tale No:2 (The Surprise)
When I was studying in the United Kingdom for my A-levels, there was a short one week holiday and as I was staying in a hostel, a friend invited me to spend the holidays with his family. Now my friend is Jewish and his family home was in London. I had a great time and enjoyed their kind hospitality. My friend did tell me that there was a very important Jewish festival (I think it was Yom Kippur) during that week which they had to attend the synagogue. He told me that I could go off and do my own thing but I was keen to learn more about a different culture and religion. " When in Rome, do as the Romans do", as they say.

He was thrilled that I showed interest and even wanted to go to the synagogue with them. Now this is when he sprung the surprise. Apparently we had to fast for 25 hours. With the wild impulse of youth, I accepted the challenge. So I found myself fasting for 25 hours and attending an extremely long service at the synagogue (from morning to mid-afternoon).

Despite the length of the service, I was taken in with the paegent.ry and the strangeness of the language and the go-ing ons. As such, I was distracted from thinking about food but that completely changed after the service. The mind is a little foggy on this point but I think both my friend and I cheated on the fasting thing when his parents weren't around later. Still, it was the first time i felt truly challenged by fasting and gave me a better respect for those who practice it regularly.

Tale No: 3 (The Real Test)
A few years later, I was travelling through Yugoslavia. In those days the Yugoslavia dinar had no value outside of that country. Therefore, you needed to be careful not to change too much money if you did not want to be left with a bunch of notes that you cannot exchange back into any useful currency when you left.

Of course, being frugal, I exchnaged only a little of my traveler's cheques. As a result, I ran out of dinar on my last day in Yugoslavia and spent the last 8 hours effectively penniless while waiting for a train at the train station. I was hungry and very thirsty and all around me was food and people eating food but I was the penilless backpacker looking in on the feast.

It was a very difficult time. Unlike my earlier fasting tales, this was not voluntary and I could not stop even if I wanted to. In a way, this enforced fast made me understand the plight of the hungry more than any other experience.
Tale No: 4 (Still Unenlightened)
Some people say that fasting helps in self discovery and enlightenment. The earlier fasting experiences certainly taught me some life lessons and I am better able to fast voluntarily as a result. However, as this story shows, I was still very far from enlightenment or wisdom.

This final tale was set at the end of a long, tiring holiday. My girlfriend and I was on the way home after a long journey which included a long hike and bus journey. We were tired and dishevelled and had not eaten for about half the day when we got to the train station. We were taking separate trains from there. After buying our tickets, my girlfriend took the last of her money and bought me a hamburger.

She skips up to me and hands me the hamburger, served with a smile. Almost simultaneously, this homeless man comes up to me and asks for some small change for food. I looked and saw the hunger in his eyes. I had no money left either and so perhaps of the lessons I had previously learnt from fasting, automatically, I passed the hamburger to him. I remember two sets of expressions; the gratitute in the face of the homeless man and the sheer shock on my girlfriend's face. Perhaps i should have asked her if it was okay with her to offer the hamburger away. See......not so wise.

Where Have All the Heroes Gone?

2009-08-31T22:26:00.004+08:00

Sculpture of Hang Tuah

Every country needs its heroes. For most countries, they have adopted heroes that best reflected their national character or aspirations. We have the freedom fighting heroes like William Tell for Switzerland. Then there are defenders of the helpless and oppressed like King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table for England. Then there are the heroes of ideology and the revolution like Che Guevara for Cuba. Robin Hood may also be considered an anti-capitalistic hero since he "stole for the rich and gave to the poor." However, Robin also fought for the oppressed. There does seem to be a lot of oppression going on in England.

Some countries like Australia have some strange national heroes. One of them is Ned Kelly the infamous bushranger which is a polite way of describing a murderer and a robber. However, he has become an icon of resistance against an unjust establishment. In some cultures, the cultural heroes can even be con men because trickery and even treachery is highly valued.

Malaysia celebrated its 52nd National Day today and I feel that we could do with some new heroes to inspire us. When I was growing up and even today, all the children are taught about the ultimate Malaysian hero, Hang Tuah. Hang Tuah was by all accounts the greatest Malay warrior ever. He became an admiral and champion for Sultan Mansur Shah of the glorious Sultanate of Melaka in the 15th century.

Hang Tuah defended Melaka from pirates, rival Sultanates and invaders. He helped represent Melaka on diplomatic missions and generally was intrumental in building the greatness of Melaka while having amazing aventures. He was brave, a warrior, a wise administrator and a stalwart of the Sultanate.

So far, not a bad hero figure for young minds. However, there is one virtue that is often said to be his greatest which was his faithfulness and loyalty. The following story is the most famous of all the romantic legends of Hang Tuah. After reading it, please share your opinion on whether he remains the right hero for the youth of today.

The Fight with Hang Jebat

Hang Tuah was part of a group of warriors who served the Sultan of Melaka (not unlike the knights of the roundtable of Camelot or the Three Musketeers of France). Hang Tuah was particularly favored by the Sultan because of his bravery, wisdom and services to the Sultanate. He eventually is promoted to the post of Laksamana (Admiral) which is very prominent and influential.

However, some in the Royal Court was not happy with his ascendancy and start rumours that Hang Tuah was taking advantage of his post to gain access to the Sultan's concubines. The Sultan hears of these rumours and he grew very angry and without seeking out any evidence, sentenced Hang Tuah to death by execution.

Hang Tuah was arrested by men led by the Bendahara (Chief Minister). However, the Bendahara only pretended to execute Hamg Tuah so as to buy some time to find evidence to exonerate hang Tuah. Instead, he smuggled Hang Tuah to a remote forest in the Kingdom.

Hang Jebat was Hang Tuah's childhood friend and closest colleague and brother in arms. After Hang Tuah, he was probably the best warrior in Melaka. Thinking that his friend had been unjustly accused and executed, he was wracked with grief and took to drinking. In a drunken fit, he took revenge on the Sultan by attacking the Palace. Running amok, he killed all that he met and took over the throne when the Sultan fled the palace.

The Sultan and his advisors was at lost of what to do until the Bendehara told the Sultan that Hang Tuah was still alive. The Sultan was happy at the news and regreted his earlier haste judgment. He offered Hang Tuah a full pardon and ordered him to kill Hang Jebat.

What followed was a duel with keris (curved daggers) between Hang Tuah and his friend Hang Jebat. When Hang Jebat saw Hang Tuah, he was very happy to see his good friend and invited Hang Tuah to join him to teach the Sultan a lesson but Hang Tuah refused saying that there is no excuse to ever go against the Sultan and to be unfaithful or disloyal.

After a titanic struggle, Hang Tuah kills Hang Jebat and proved his faithfulness and loyalty to the Sultan.

What do you think? It seems to me to promote some very feudal values such as loyalty to the leader above all else including justice and friendship. I think we need some new heroes.

In to Africa

2009-08-22T23:53:00.008+08:00

For a very, very long time, one of the things that Ive dreamed of doing is to go on safari amidst the huge animal herds and carnivores of the African plains. One such place that you might do that is at Kruger National Park in South Africa.

In 2004, I had the opportunity to attend a conference in Durban, South Africa and I had hoped to make this dream come through. However, as it turned out, a trip to Kruger was a little too costly for my means nor did I have sufficient free time to make the trip.

Instead, I went with some others to one of the many independent and privately owned safari parks. These were essentially large areas of relatively open habitats but which were basically fenced off private property. The animals in these safari parks are 'managed", not free ranging and are often bought from other parks.

So really, they are more like open air zoos rather than truly natural habitats. The number of animals are usually quite low and they are often not prime specimens due to excessive in-breeding. So though I am grateful to have had the chance of even visiting a safari park, I still hope to do a real safari experience in Kruger National Park one day.

This is the jeep that we used to make our way around the park.

Most people come to see the big five which are the lion, leopard, rhino, elephant and Cape Buffalo. Well, I saw no lions or leopards (often missing from these safari parks as the predators are much harder to manage and costly to feed). Nor did I see any elephants but I did get to see the following; Cape Buffalo and the rhinocerous.

I also saw the giraffe. Now that is a big animal! I wonder why it is not listed as one of the top five.

I also saw a rather scruffy pack of ostriches.

But for me, the real jewel for my visit, was the glimpse of the secretary bird (Sagittarius serpentarius). This bird was so named because it is said to resemble a pompous British Government Secretary from the late 18th Century. It is a diurnal raptor and is seen on the coat of arms of the Republic of South Africa.

The apparent fading stripes on the rump of this Zebra is a sign of excessive inbreeding within the Zebra herd in this particular safari park.

Banff Squirrel

2009-08-17T23:04:00.004+08:00

What else could I be posting about if not about this now infamous Columbian Ground Squirrel? The story is that two British tourists visiting Lake Minnewanka in beautiful Banff national Park, Canada, wanted to take a photo of themselves with the lake and mountains in the background. They placed their camera on some rocks and set it to take the photo on timer.

However, attracted by the sound of the timer, this squirrel pops up just at the right time to crash the photo. The couple were so amused by this photo, they posted it on the National Geographic website and from there, the squirrel photo has made it round the world. In fact, the squirrel is now appearing in other photos too.

He is now a global celebrity. Way to go, brother.

Funny Laughter

2009-08-10T23:07:00.003+08:00

I thought that we could all use a laugh this Monday and so I decided to post on laughter. I admire people who know how to laugh at themselves and know how to make others laugh along. My favorite comediennes all knew not to take themselves seriously. The only thing that they took seriously was the art of making people laugh.

Some comic geniuses take it a step further and make it almost their professional duty to trip up their fellow colleagues and make them laugh. One good example and a favorite of mine was the Carol Burnett Show. As if the skits were not funny enough but the real icing on the cake were the one liner ad lib that the actors would throw out which often caused the other actors in the skit to laugh uncontrollably. Yet as good professionals, they would try to hide their laughter behind straight faces or available props, but often not very successfully. For the audience, the poor attempts to hide their laughter were some of the funniest things ever seen. Occasionally, an actor would lose it and laugh hysterically and that would just ignite the audience with wildfire laughter. When that happened, I would laugh until I cried.

There was something contagious about the laughter. "Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.", so the saying goes. I present for your amusement, one of the best examples of an infectious laugh. It is a little long but quite worth it. The fun really gets going at the 1.30 minute mark and all decorum goes downhill from there. Enjoy.

Moving to Blogland Lane

2009-08-04T23:14:00.005+08:00

Haven't you ever wondered what it would have been like to be among the pioneers moving in and establishing a new town in the middle of the wilderness? Well, a new community has been founded by KJ in Blogland Lane and she is inviting us to join her pioneer community.

Having accepted her warm invitation, my wife and I will be virtually moving in to 1313 Blogland Lane home this weekend. Allow me to take you on a virtual tour.

The cedar wood home is in a forested setting, on a small rise overlooking a nearby lake and with a stream gurgling nearby. The main living area will have high ceilings and tall glass windows with a view of the lake. Windows throughout the house take advantage of the views of the old growth forests.

Outback there is a deck with a hot tub, ideal for a soak while looking at the stars at night. Also a great place to catch some rays and to have a barbeque. There is also a screened area which is great for a snooze while communing with nature sans bugs.

The other obvious feature is the many squirrel feeders but being generous, birds are welcome too.

Visitors are always welcome for a chat and will be greeted with a cool beer in summer and warm chocolate in winter.

Visit HERE to have a look at some of my other dream homes.

Invitation To Homestead on Blogland Lane!

Description:
a wide choice of available land
including double lots,
lakeside, ocean front,
small plots, rambling acreage,
dells with forest canopies,
tree lined, flat, or hilly terrain,
whatever you want.

Suggestions:
Just put up a picture of your home/yard
on your own blog
and the place is yours!
Provide any details and descriptions you want,
and put out the Welcome Mat
or the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign.
Whatever.
.
(Just leave a comment on her blog letting people know they can see
your house on your blog.)

Learning PR from Pigs

2009-08-02T18:34:00.000+08:00

"One man's meat is another man's poison.", so the saying goes. However carrying on with the theme from the previous post, perhaps the saying should be "One man's delicacy is another man's bizarre food."

Why is that, I wondered. I think part of it is due to the accepted role of certain animals in our Society. In some parts of the world, they eat dog and horse meat. This isn't the case in most Western nations though and I think it is because these animals have elevated positions and roles in these societies. Dogs are just another farm animal in the East but in the West, they have been alleviated to pets, companions and for some, even one of the family. No one wants to eat their pet, companion or family member. Likewise in many parts of the world, the horse is just part of the livestock but in other parts they are elevated to racing champions and riding partners.

I am forbidden by wifely decree from eating venison under the pain of sleeping on the couch. It all started with a visit to Banff, Canada when a small herd of deer actually came up to the back of our rented lodge and shared our breakfast. My wife enjoyed hand feeding the deer. Somehow the bond was established and I am now forbidden to eat venison. If I ever suggested ordering venison at a restaurant, she will remind me that she fed those cute, big doe eyed innocent, trusting deer in Banff and that we could never betray that trust by eating venison now.

Hmmmm......and so I have been venison free for over 15 years now. This made this squirrel brain (more than just a food item) think. Perhaps, one way to dissuade people from eating squirrels is to change their perception of squirrels as vermin or forest bounty to that of cute, innocent, trusting friends.

This has been done before by my porcine friends. Remember "Charlotte's Web"? The book and movie was all about trying to save the piglet from being slaughtered. Now what sicko watches the movie, roots for the pig and then leaves the movie theater and orders a bacon burger? Hmmm, don't answer that.

Even more successful was the movie "Babe". There a cute little piglet thinks that he is a sheperd dog. Once again, we root for the cute, emotionally confused pig and once we identified with the pig, it is difficult to eat pork. Not convinced? Well, the Chinese Government was so concerned that it would brainwash its citizens and lead to a collapse of the vast pork industry that it actually banned the movie from China.

I think that the pigs were on to a good idea. So it wasn't long that the National Union of Tasty Squirrels (NUTS) embarked on a public relations campaign for squirrels by sponsoring a number of movies. Here are some examples which the intended PR message.

Scrat from "Ice Age": The lovable persistent and funny underdog.

From "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian":- The heroic and noble, defender of all that is righteous and just and good.

From "Squirrel with a Pearl Earring":- the romantic, sensitive and artistic squirrel.

What do you think? Do you feel this will work and get people to stop eating squirrels? If it doesn't work, I am afraid that the only other option is to bomb the Appalachians.

Bizarre Foods

2009-07-30T23:01:00.004+08:00

What has been the most bizarre thing that you have ever eaten? I am not terribly adventurous. I do like trying new foods and cooking styles but I do not stray far from common farm animals. I am a bit of a disgrace cause Chinese have a reputation of eating anything with legs except tables and chairs. Heck, Chinese even eat things with no legs whatsoever.

How do we know that Adam and Eve was not Chinese? Cause if they were Chinese, they would have eaten the serpent and not the apple. Haha. A little theologically inaccurate joke.

Asia is famous for its variety of fried insects, monkey brains, dog meat, snake hearts, sharks' fin, bear's paws etc. I am sure you know what I mean. If you don't, then you should watch the TV program "Bizarre Foods" and follow host Andrew Zimmern as he eats the most bizarre, frequently foul and often stomach churning food items from around the world.

As I said, I am quite wimpy about bizarre foods. However, I have eaten raw rat liver (accidentally), fish stomachs with herbs (perut ikan), bison meat and bird's nest soup (which is actually made from swallow's saliva), just to name a few. As a Malaysian, I am proud to have eaten the famously odious smelling king of fruits.......the durian, which interestingly is one of the very few foods that Andrew Zimmern will not eat.

Every now and then, some smart ass will come by and leave a comment on this blog about how squirrel is on the menu in some parts of the world. Mark, you know who you are! Sadly though, it is true. In a recent episode, I watched Andrew Zimmern explore the Appalachians, USA, and hungrily consume squirrel brains. Now that, to me, is so bizarre. How can anyone eat something so cute?

Final 28 on the Wonder List

2009-07-25T00:43:00.004+08:00

Last year, I posted about the on-line voting for selecting the Seven Natural Wonders of the World.
The process began with nominations from around the world which resulted in over 440 nominated sites. The top 77 sites are then reviewed by a special advisory committee and this has result in the selection of the 28 finalists.

The 28 finalists are as follows (in alphabetical order);

Amazon (South America)
Angel Falls (Venezuela)
Bay of Fundy (Canada)
Black Forest (Germany)
Bu Tinah Shoals (United Arab Emirates)
Cliffs of Moher (Ireland)
Dead Sea (Middle East)
El Yunque (Puerto Rico)
Galapagos (Ecuador)
Grand Canyon (USA)
Great Barrier Reef (Australia)
Halong Bay (Vietnam)
Iguazu Falls (South America)
Jeita Grotto (Lebanon)
Jeju island (South Korea)
Kilimanjaro (Tanzania)
Komodo (Indonesia)
Maldives (Maldives)
Masurian Lake District (Poland)
Matterhorn (Switzerland/Italy)
Milford Sound (new Zealand)
Mud Volcanoes (Azerbaijan)
Puerto Princessa Underground River (Philippines)
Sundarbans (India/Bangladesh)
Table Mountain (South Africa)
Uluru (Australia)
Vesuvius (Italy)
Yushan (Taiwan)

Well, only two of the sites I voted for in the first round has made it to the finalists. They are Angel Falls and Milford Sound.

I guess my final 7 choices from the 28 finalists will have to be;

Angel Falls
Milford Sound
Amazon
Great Barrier Reef
Galapagos
Halong Bay
Dead Sea

If you would like to VOTE, go HERE.

Dark Eclipse of the Paper Moon

2009-07-23T17:32:00.008+08:00

Disclaimer:- In the last post, I attributed my disappearance as being in the shadow of Jupiter. When I did that, I had no idea that this week would be the Super Mother of All Solar Eclipses. Was it just coincidence? Perhaps, but then again the antenna in my brain that was placed there by visiting Jovian space creatures may have kept me sub-consciously in tune with cosmic happenings. Which ever, I am back, refreshed and raring to blog!

The title of this post is "Dark Eclipse of the Paper Moon". It really consists of three sub-posts below which are all unrelated and is being told in reverse order.

PAPER MOON.
I know I am a bit late with this post but last Monday was the 40th Anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission and man's landing on the moon. Or rather the alledged landing. Yes, folks, this squirrel just loves conspiracy theories and one of my favorites is the theory that the lunar landing was all a hoax staged for propaganda and morale benefits.

As the theory goes, it was the Cold War. Russia won the race to space by sending a cosmonaut into orbit. Communism seemed like it was gaining ground all over the world. President Nixon needed a "victory" to shore up American morale. Also we all know how upright and truthful Nixon was. Some bright spark spin doctor suggests that the USA can win the race to the moon via Hollywood technology.

I know the Mythbusters have done a special on TV and have declared the lunar landing conspiracy theory to be a myth but die hards like me .......well, die hard.

The above picture shows a fully lit astronaut descending the stairs in the dark shadow cast by the lunar module (see dark shadow on ground). Bear in mind the only light source is the sun. How is it that the astronaut so brightly lit? Mythbusters claim it is from reflected light from the surrounding surfaces. I find it hard to believe. Flat surfaces reflect light at an angle away from the incident light. It should not light up someone on the darkside of an object.

The above photos show another problematic aspect of the evidence of the lunar landing. The cameras used had crosshairs etched onto the lens as reference points. This will result in clearly visible crosshairs on every photograph and the crosshairs can only be always in front of any images recorded. Yet, if you look at the label "L", you will see that the crosshair is behind the equipment. There are quite a few of these examples.

The real cute thing is that Hollywood then makes a movie about a fake Mars landing called Capricorn One. Take the truth of a fake lunar landing and make it look like a piece of fiction. It's like hiding a hoax in plain sight.

Enuff said. Let me know what you think.

ECLIPSE
The grand celestial show on Wednesday turned out to be a bit of a wash-out in most places as the sky was full of clouds. In Malaysia, we had a solid bank of low clouds so we could not even see the 20% eclipse we were expecting.

It is interesting to note that in many parts of Asia, the eclipse of the sun is still viewed with superstition and many will not look at it out of fear. Pregnant Indian women are being told not to go out but to stay in bed for the duration. Of course, these people are probably wiser than those who continue to ignore advice and look directly at the sun without proper shielding. With the eclipse traveling across such wide areas of dense populations, statistically, there must be quite a number of newly blind idiots.

I have experienced a partial eclipse before and it was strange to see the shadows and the reduced light. I too would have freaked out if I hadn't been taught about it in school. It can be very awesome and intimidating.

However, this time round, it was mostly just rainy.

THE DARK
Malaysia suffered a different sort of darkness. It was not the eclipse of the sun but it may turn out to be an eclipse of justice. It certainly brought a lot of darkness into the lives of one family in particular and the nation as a whole.

On the 15th of July, the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission raided the offices of Members of the State Assembly in Selangor who happen to belong to opposition parties to the Federal Government to investigate alledged misuse of constituency funds. Somehow, the political secretary to one of the State Assemblymen, Teoh Beng Hock, was asked to accompany the officers back to their office to help in their investigations.

It was important to note that Teoh was said to have gone voluntarily and he was a witness and not a suspect. Yet the next day, the 30 year old was found dead on the 5th Floor of the Commissions offices, apparently having plummeted to his death from the 14th Floor. Although, it is known that he was still being interrogated even at 3 am., MACC officers claim to have lost touch with his whereabouts after that.

Teoh was due to marry his pregnant girlfriend on the very next day. Instead, she mourns him at her funeral. How could this young, idealistic public servant who was not even a suspect but voluntarily helping in investigations, ended up tragically killed while at the Commission's Offices?

We hope that there will be no cover up and justice will be done. Then at least this pall of darkness can be lifted just a little.

Teoh's girlfriend and his unborn child face a future without him.

I think it is time to get out from the shadows.

Casualty of Work

2009-07-16T19:20:00.003+08:00

Just in case, the moons of Jupiter are aligned with the rings of Saturn which might possibly lead someone out there in the vastness of the universe to have noticed that this squirrel hasn't been making his usual rounds........it's all because of a four letter word...."W O R K".

Yup, this squirrel is being overworked and exploited by the evil world order. So have a good week and I will try to reappear into the sunlight on the other side of Jupiter's shadow.

In the meantime, the following picture expresses my feelings.

Kurious Kat

2009-07-04T21:44:00.006+08:00

My friend Kat has tagged me to do this meme. She was supposed to tag 8 others to do it but she only tagged me. So, I think it is reasonable that I tag no one but feel free to do it is you want and let me know if you chose to do so.

And now Kat, because you wanted to know.........

What is your current obsession?
Having used Window based computer systems all my life, I am considering getting my first Apple computer for my photos and video work. It's turning out to be a huge life changing decision for me as an Apple costs almost double the price here. I am currently obsessively reading up on Apple and talking to anyone who has used one.

What are you wearing today?
An old but comfortable T-shirt commemorating the 2nd Annual Taste of Banff Festival, Lake Louise in 1994 and brown shorts and brown moccasins. I remember trying bison at the Festival.

What’s for dinner?
Dim Sum! I know this is usually eaten for breakfast or lunch but this particular restaurant has a 30-45 minute waiting time during the day so my wife and I always go at dinner time when there is no queue. We do this about twice a month.

What’s the last thing you bought?
Apart from groceries, I recently bought a book about Malaysian Highland Orchids for a friend.

What are you listening to right now?
I recently came across someone who Ecuador who plays Native American music in Malaysia. I am listening to his CD.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
There is a tranquil pool fed by a river stream in the middle of the rainforest in Endau Rompin National Park (Johor), Malaysia. Crystal clear waters and surrounded by the jungle.......peace.

Which language do you want to learn?
Spanish. I just like the sound of it. I'm a big fan of Spanish music but it would be good to understand the lyrics. Otherwise, I've also admired Gaelic.

What do you love most about where you currently live?
The fact that you can get Malay, Chinese, Indian and other ethnic foods almost anytime of the day. In fact, I love this a bit too much.

What is your favorite colour?
Aquamarine or any blue-green combination.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
Similar to Cindy, any T-shirt which commemorates a place that I have been to.

Describe your personal style?
Casual and sloppy.

Name a famous person you share a birthday with.
Apparently, I share a birthday with the British author, Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990).

What are you going to do after this?
Watch some TV and then sleep.

Your favorite smell?
Smell of bacon in the morning.........yummy. But okay, favorite smell would also be the smell of rain. That is so refreshing.

Do you collect anything?
Selected comic books like Bone and Groo. Used to collect commemorative tea-towels to remember places I visit. Now it is T-shirts and photos.

What makes you follow a blog?
Interesting and honest people with interesting and honest things to say. People I can learn things from.

Do you like to comment on blogs or just lurk?
I lurk ever so briefly but then I like to leave comments cause I like the interaction.

What’s one thing you dream of doing?
Whitewater rafting down the Colorado or the Amazon.

What is your biggest regret?
Not helping a friend when I had the opportunity.

What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
Curl up with a book and doze off.

Do you have a tattoo?
Nope! Absolutely not my thing.

Do you play an instrument?
Up to 6 chords on the guitar but little else.

Who was your hero (or "shero") when you were a child?
David Livingstone.

If you find a spider in your house, would you: a) kill it, b) leave it alone, C) capture it and release it outside? (This is my added question)
Leave it alone.

Independence Day?

2009-07-03T22:54:00.002+08:00

The majority of the readers that come by my humble blog are actually from the US of A. After I kind of went overboard in my exultation of the Red Maple Leaf and the land of Dudley Do-Right in my last post, I wondered if I should post on the Independence Day celebrations of the United States. Strangely, when I visited most of my regular American Blogs, I did not find a single post about the 4th of July. However, even so, I realised it was only right that I did.

So to all my American readers and visitors, "Happy Independence Day!"

Cherish your hard won independence and protect it. You came so close to losing it after that debacle of an election in 2000 when you could not decide Bush or Gore. Soon after, this letter was drafted purportedly by John Cleese and sent to the American people........it was a notice of revocation of Independence.

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

John Cleese

Thankfully, you have chosen wisely for now with President Obama and motherland England have their own scandals to deal with; so your Independence seems safe for the next few years.

Celebrating Canada

2009-06-30T23:54:00.006+08:00

I have said it before and I'll say it again. I believe that Canada is a great country and a great place to live and that Canadians are so darn fortunate. I just love those liberal, ice hockey loving, tree-huggers.

Tomorrow, July 1st, is Canada Day. I used to enjoy going to watch the multi-cultural concerts all over Ottawa when I was there. These concerts showcase the Canadian mosaic of cultures which celebrate the differences of all cultures and the richness it adds to the Canadian social tapestry. Finally, I'd be there on Parliament Hill to watch the fireworks. Some of the most enjoyable experiences of my life and I find it hard not to feel fortunate to have been there.

To a great nation and its peoples, I say "Happy Canada Day!" I was going to get you guys a present but I am a bit swamped by work at the moment. For the same reason, I did not have time to be creative with this post which is why I had to purloined three videos from youtube to make my point.

Video 1 just makes you proud to be Canadian. Video 2 explains the history of Canada, kind of. Sort of. And Video 3 is a very Canadian self-depreciating way of celebrating their country (plus Malaysia is also mentioned). Happy All Things Canadian.

Michael Jackson

2009-06-28T12:59:00.003+08:00

The last two days, the news of the passing on of Michael Jackson seems to have dominated TV, radio and even the blogosphere. Indeed, everywhere you look, there is a tribute to the King of Pop and rightly so. I am not a fan of MJ's but it is indisputable that he was an extremely talented individual and his impact on the music scene, on culture and on millions of people is quite indisputable.

It is regrettable that towards the latter years, the focus had been more about his idiosyncrasies and problems in his private life. Yet, his positive legacy is what I believe will take central stage again with his passing.

A few of us was at a coffeeshop in Kuala Lumpur and we were wondering who else would have such a global impact and response upon his death besides MJ and we had trouble coming up with a name. MJ's influence really seems to have crossed many divides. He reached out to both blacks and whites and other cultural boundaries. He was huge even behind the previous Communist block nations including Russia and even China.

In Malaysia, one cultural legacy of MJ's is a drink that is named after him. The drink consists of soya bean milk and cincau (a black colored grass jelly that is made from boiling grasses from the mint family; specifically Mesona chinensis). The result is a black and white concoction which in honor of MJ's hit song "Black and White" was named the Michael Jackson.

And so, my small circle of friends raised our glasses of Michael Jackson and toasted the King of Pop, wherever he is.....may he be at peace.

Weapon Escalation

2009-06-25T22:30:00.004+08:00

It seemed like a peaceful day; slightly overcast and pleasant. I was just 11 years old and while my mother was doing gardening and sweeping out the drain at the back of our home, I was using my imagination to turn my entire backyard into a fantasy world where the grass became vast expanses of rainforest and the concrete porch abutting the drain became a large airstrip for my toy planes.

I was flying my model Douglas A4 Skyhawk over the hostile and mysterious jungles looking for ant hills and other insects to irritate when the quiet of the afternoon was suddenly interrupted by a yell from my mother. A foolish rat had decided to emerge from the drain and run along the concrete porch. My mom reacted quickly, grabbing a broom and using it to try to bean the animal on the head as it ran.

I was jumping with excitement as I witness the contest between my mom and the rat. Down came the broom here with a crash and there with a bang. The rat was clearly regretting his decision to come out and was squealing as he expertly dodged the blows raining down on him. One of my mom's blows with the broom had hit him but perhaps not with much force. He was able to carry on his crazy run even though he appeared at least a little stunned. It seemed like a long time but perhaps barely half a minute had passed when the rat managed to dive into safety into a little crack between the drain and the porch.

There were cracks and holes all along the juncture of the porch and the drainwhere the concrete there was crumbly with age. When the rat made it into that labyrinth under the concrete, I thought that the day's entertainment was over but my mother's blood was up. She used the broom handle and tried to poke it through the hole. What infuriated her was that she could not get at the rat but when she removed the broom, she could make out the rat's shiny beady eyes in the deep recesses of the hole looking at her.

She ran into the kitchen and came back out with some rags and an insecticide aerosol can. She used the rags to stuff some of the holes along the drain to prevent the rat from escaping and then she pumped the aerosol can contents into the first hole. Then we both waited, expecting the rat to emerge gassed.

Nothing happened. My mom then decided to smoke the rat out. She twisted some newspaper, lit it and inserted it into the hole. Now my highly intelligent readers will no doubt have anticipated the consequence of applying a flame to a dense cloud of inflammable aerosol.

There was an almighty explosion. BOOM! Sheets of flame shot out of all the holes and cracks and when the dust settled, parts of the concrete slabs was completely blown up into rubble exposing parts of the underground sanctuary. My mom's hair was slightly singed.

Both my mom and I was stunned by the explosion. I looked at her slightly soot-dusted face and we laughed away the tension of the moment. After she recovered her composure, she rooted through the rubble with the broom handle but found no evidence of the rat. No body or even gross body parts.

I'd like to think that the rat got out alive. Perhaps he was already on his way out one of the escape routes when he was catapulted out by the explosion. There he lay, slightly singed and dazed but alive! While my mom searched the debris, he would make his escape to his nest where he would tell his astonished and rapt rodent audience about his adventure and how he cheated death at the hands of this new weapon of terror.

Five by Five

2009-06-23T19:33:00.005+08:00

Five by Five is the phrase that Faith (the rival slayer from the series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) uses to indicate that everything is okay. I thought it would make a good title for this meme from Jelica and Ruslan over at Budapest Bits, my new friends and favorite blog from the Balkans and Central Europe. This is because the meme requires 5 answers under 5 topics.

It has been awhile since I did a meme. For some of the older readers, some of my answers will already be familiar but I hope this will be of interest to some of my new friends here. It also falls on me to prod 5 others to take up this meme. Please don't feel obliged or pressured but it would be nice to know a bit more about you. I dub the famous Five to be;
1. Lorac at Ahhh...the Cottage Life.
2. thisrainykitten at my blog.
3. Sally at Sally's World.
4. eastcoastdweller at In Search of Isis.
5. Cabcree at Cabcree.

FIVE FAVORITE SONGS:
1. I Can’t Make You Love Me (Bonnie Raitt, 1991)

Just think this is a great song. Soul wrenching music and lyrics.

2. And So It Goes (Billy Joel, 1989)

I proposed to my wife by singing this song, so it is very precious.

3. Alone Again Naturally (Gilbert O'Sullivan, 1972)

An early melancholic favorite.

4. Anything But Ordinary (Avril Lavigne, 2002)

My current theme song. Great lyrics and outlook to life.

5. Scarborough Fair/Canticle (Traditional Arr.; Simon and Garfunkel, 1966)

Great traditional song and wonderful anti-war anthem.

FIVE FAVORITE FILMS:

1. Running on Empty (1988)

This movie is about family, love and sacrifice. Always makes me cry.

2. Blade Runner (1982)

Probably the best Science fiction movie ever. Shows a dark side to the progress of

science.

3. Before Sunrise (1995)

A simple story of a chance encounter on a train but I think one of the most

romantic stories ever.

4. Thunderheart (1992)

A spiritual journey and a story of injustice against native peoples.

5. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

Another movie that makes me cry. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks make a great

romantic comedy combination.

FIVE FAVORITE BOOKS:

1. Ring of Bright Water (Gavin Maxwell, 1960)
This book taught me to love animals
2. Watership Down ( Richard Adams ,1972)
This book also taught me love animals but also to question human systems of governance and beliefs.
3. All Creatures Great and Small (James Herriot, 1972)
This book also taught me to love animals and gave me a better sense of life's hopes, dreams, ups and downs.
4. Rendezvous with Rama (Arthur C. Clarke, 1972)
I love the premise of this story. Very humbling.
5. The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever ( Stephen R. Donaldson,
1977-1979)
A great fantasy story played out against the lack of faith of the hero.

FIVE FAVORITE CRUSHES:

1. Susan Hampshire
(British actress with large cleavage – what do you expect, this was my adolescence crush.)
2. Sophia Loren
(Italian Screen Sex Goddess – a bit older now but still controlled by raging hormones. I
like my women meaty and curvy)
3. Natalie Wood
(American Actress – beginning to see women as people. Natalie remains one of my
favorites. She is strong, yet vulnerable. And is she ever so pretty).
4. Gong Li
(Chinese Actress – Even stronger, yet vulnerable. The Asian version of Natalie Wood).
5. Isabella Rossellini
(Italian Actress, daughter of Ingrid Bergman who almost made this list too. What can I say. She’s stunning at 55 years old. Graceful beauty and aging well).

FIVE FAVORITE RANDOM THINGS:
1. Walking in the rain.
2. Swimming in a jungle stream.
3. Spending time with my wife.
4. Dinner with friends.
5. Laughter of Children.

Twisted and Crooked

2009-06-20T00:51:00.005+08:00

Opisthostoma vermiculum (by Reuben Clements)

Malaysia is one of the 12 Mega-Biodiversity Countries as recognised by the Convention of Biological Diversity. 75% of all the species of the Earth can be found in these 12 countries. These countries are therefore particularly rich in the number and uniqueness of the species found there.

So it may not be too surprising that two newly discovered Malaysian species made it into the Top 10 New Species for 2009 list. The first is a new species of stick insect which is now recognised as the biggest in the world.

The second species is Opisthostoma vermiculum which is an unusual snail species which has so far only been recovered from the top of a single limestone outcrop. Apart from its incredibly limited range, it is also unique because its shell forms twist about four coiling axes. Most snails form coils only along a single axis though before this, coils formed about as many as three axes have been known but not 4 axes. (the axes are shown on the photo).

Basically, all that is just a fancy way to say that this is one crooked shell. The scientific name for the snail means 'worm-like". I hope you like this strange creature.

This new species is a very important discovery. Scientists believe that something in the difficult limestone habitat made this creature to develop this unusually crooked shell. Sociologists, in turn, believe that this may be the missing link or key to explain why so many Malaysian politicians are equally convoluted and crooked; it is a natural result of the Malaysian environment!

After pondering this revelation, I was inspired to write this following poem.

"There was a crooked man who cooked up a crooked plan,
To build a crooked bridge so that he could be crooked rich,
He cut down the forest trees for one of his crooked schemes,
And sold out the next generation, for he was a crooked politician."

(I have posted about the crooked bridge before. To read all about it, click HERE!)

One More Click

2009-06-16T18:24:00.003+08:00

It is now 6.30 pm local time in the Realm. The work whistle has blown and all work has stopped in the nut mines. I am packing up and will soon be dragging my weary body out for my short commute to my home.

I have clearly stopped working and it is on my own time that I am putting up this post. I just wanted it to be crystal clear that I am not doing this during working hours cause ..........that would be.......wrong.

I am sure that all you dear readers know better than to read blogs, post comments and surf the internet while still at work. If not, may I present this sad tale of my friend Mr. Woof "Pup" Barker who was until recently, still employed.

With many thanks to Eclectech, the creators and managers of the famous squirrel band, "The Nutz".

The Nutter and the Hag

2009-06-14T21:52:00.005+08:00

This post is entitled "The Nutter and the Hag" but it could also have been called "the Humor and the Horror". Essentially, it is an up-date of two posts which i did earlier this month.

THE HAG
In the post "Read Before Sunset", I commented on the horror movie genre and the recent ascendancy of Asian horror movies and the relative dearth of really scary movies of late from Hollywood. However, I stand corrected. I just watched Sam Raimi's new movie and return to the horror genre in the form of "Drag Me to Hell". The plot was not the best but shall we say that it was sufficient of a platform to allow Mr. Raimi to showcase his directorial skills at filming an extremely creepy and scary movie.

It contains at least three of the five horror techniques which I described in the last post. It had levitation (which was very well done), it did a variation of the image in the back view mirror of the car and it had the old hag (see below).

Scary? And she's just an old woman......we aren't even talking about the evil spirits yet! I am a horror movie buff so it takes quite a lot to actually make me want to cover my eyes during certain times during the movie. In fact, half way through the movie, I felt I had already received more than my ticket's worth of scares.

I think "The Exorcist" is still safely installed as the top honcho of horror movies but "Drag Me to Hell" is surely to become a horror classic with perhaps a placing in the top 5.

Want to see a horror classic in the making? Then go see this movie but be warned, it is not for the faint of heart nor for those already suffering insomnia. The Squirrel has spoken!

THE NUTTER
In the post "Nuts even Squirrels Can't Love", I posted a picture of a "Swamp-Thing"-type nutter sitting on the subway next to a clearly bemused woman. I then invited blog readers to make fun of the picture by suggesting the possible dialogue between the "Thing" and the woman.

The squirrel has only one thing to say to all of you who participated.........."FLEE!" "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!"

The Thing has relatives and they were not amused!

A Magical Musical Place

2009-06-10T01:25:00.009+08:00

There is a wonderful place located behind the National Gallery in Ottawa, Canada. It is called Nepean Point and is essentially a small hill from which there are stunning panoramic views of the Ottawa River and the Canadian Parliament buildings in the distance. Also on Nepean Point is an open-air theater, the Astrolabe Theater, which holds many fond memories for me because I spent many summer days there soaking up the sun's rays and also many warm sultry and magical evenings there listening to enchanting streams of music performed by talented artistes in that intimate setting. With the view, atmosphere and music combined, I feel like I have been given a preview of heaven.

View of Parliament Hill from Nepean Point

On one occasion, I had the privilege of watching a young family band from Nova Scotia back in 1991. They had released two albums but was still not widely known yet. Their breakthrough was to come just 2 years later when they won all kinds of awards and became a household name in Canada. I can claim to have also enjoyed free concerts from Alanis Morrisette before she made it big and also Celine Dion while she was still a rocker and before she became Disnesque.

Anyway, this band was called The Rankin Family and consisted of the siblings Jimmy, Raylene, Cookie, Heather and John Morris. This lively group draws inspiration from their Celtic-Scottish roots and their Nova Scotia heritage and delivers both soulful songs as well as live affirming jigs. That night, their music had me enthralled. Later, I waited with the rest of the crowd to buy their CDs and to have them personally autographed. The signed CDs and a friendly kiss on the cheek from Cookie completed my capitulation to their charms (that's my memory of the night and I am a sticking to it!).

They disbanded to pursue their own interests in 1999 and John Morris was tragically killed in a car accident in 2000. The Rankin Family rose again though to have a successful tour in 2006 and are active again this year. May their musical legacy "live on in the faces of their children" (lyrics from their song, We Rise Again) Now, through the wonders of YouTube, I hope to put you under their spell too.

Grey Alert!

2009-06-06T17:03:00.005+08:00

Grey Squirrels are cute and innocent victims.

Mad dogs and English Princes! I can't believe my ears. It seems bonnie Prince Charles has called for the culling of my Grey Squirrel brethren throughout the British isles. Our crime for which we have been singled out includes;

a) Damaging hardwood trees by peeling their bark and
b) Out-competing the local red squirrels.

This is outrageous! I have always had a soft spot for the Prince seeing as he has had to cope with a lot of public attention while still having been made to wait so long to take his turn as monarch of the realm. But this incident has made me wonder if all that waiting has not in fact resulting in him having a soft spot in his head! What he is proposing is nothing less than racial discrimination against the Greys and the squirrel equivalent of ETHNIC CLEANSING!

First let me deal with the allegation that Greys are a threat to the Hardwood trees. Yes, it is true that Greys sometimes strip the bark off hardwood trees but this is something Reds do as well. Greys should not be singled out for this problem. Getting rid of Greys will not stop damage to these trees unless you also get rid of the Reds. However, one should look at the big picture and realise that Greys deserve a little reward because of the services they provide to the forest overall. It has been conclusively shown in their native habitat, eastern grey squirrels play an important role in forest regeneration. Buried but unretrieved nuts will often germinate, helping with reforestation. So, Greys in fact know more about taking care of forests than you humans! So let us get on with it.

As for outcompeting the Reds, Greys are charged with being larger, more aggresive, reproducing more effectively, nudging the Reds out of their habitats and spreading the Poxvirus which have killed up to 80% of the Red populations in some parts of the country but to which the Greys are immune. And so, the arguement goes, the Greys must be exterminated to save the Reds.

Let's see how this scenario compares with one from human history. I speak specifically of the arrival of the Palefaces in the New World. The Palefaces were larger, more aggressive (guns versus bows and arrows), had larger and larger numbers coming over, made treaties and broke them to push the "Red Indians" or Native americans out of their traditional lands and introduced the Smallpox virus which contributed to the decline of the Red Indian population from about 18 million before the arrival of the Palefaces to just over 500,000 at the start of the twentieth century. Now these same Palefaces from the motherland want to kill Grey Squirrels to protect the native Red Squirrels? What hypocricy!

If only, someone could have organised the culling of the Palefaces back then to protect the Native Americans, it would indeed be a fairer world. But there is one more important distinction. While the Palefaces came to the New World on purpose, the Grey Squirrels did not choose to come to the wet and rainy British Isles but were introduced there last century by the same Palefaces. So don't take it out on us Greys. Go see them forktongued Palefaces.

Now that the Greys are here (through no fault of our own), it is only right to live and let live. Instead of culling and inflicting such pain and suffering, by all means give us Greys contraceptives to control our numbers, set up reserves on islands to protect the wimpy Reds and we will even let you use our genes to help develop immunity for the Reds for the poxvirus.

Finally, do you really want to explain to your kids why you are war criminal for carrying out ethnic cleansing? Especially when us Greys are so cute? Take action now! Write to your MP. Protest in front of the British Embassies. Today, it is the Greys.......tomorrow it could be you!

Since Prince Charles has put his foot in his mouth with this outrageous statement of his, I feel it is only fair to end by having a little laugh at His Royal Highness expense. Enjoy.

Read before Sunset

2009-06-01T22:11:00.007+08:00

I love horror stories. For some perverse reason, I like to be so scared that I pee in my pants. Coupled with my preference for spicy, hot, tongue scalding chili encrusted meals, that should be enough to label me as a masochist. Anyway, I started on this post late last night but was scaring myself so much I decided it would be better to stop and only continue during daylight hours if only to evade getting nightmares when I slept.

Anyway as I was saying, I love horror stories. It doesn't even have to be a particularly good story. For example, the campy King of B-Grade Horror movies, "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" is so bad that it is good. You know what I mean?

However, as much as I like monster movies, I really, really like supernatural stories. When I was 12 years old, my 26 year old brother was supposed to take his girlfriend to watch the special midnight movie but for some reason, they had a tiff. I benefited from the rebound when he offered to sneak me in to see the movie which had an 18 only rating. I was thrilled. The movie was "The Exorcist" which in retrospect gives a clue to the subject of their lover's tiff. Not unexpectedly, I was severely traumatised by the movie and could not sleep for weeks as I awaited an arm to come out of the wall to grab me.

Although Hollywood has come out with many outstanding supernatural horror stories, in recent years the far more scary movies have come forth from the imagination of Asian directors such as "The Ring", "The Grudge", and "One Missed Call".

Below are some of the horror concepts that work well at getting my goosebumps up.

Shining eyes. Eyes that glow in the dark. Imagine looking around in the dark. Everything looks normal. Suddenly you do a double take and you notice two dots of glowing red in a dark corner or at the window looking in. Scary! This effect was used in "Amityville Horror" when two glowing eyes appear in the window.
Mirrors. Often a hint or glimpse of some horror in a mirror or shining surface is far more effective than showing the whole horror. This is probably because when you get to see the whole thing, it looks too much like a guy with makeup on. I used to have to drive along a jungle road at night. All around was dark except for my headlights. Occasionally, out of habit, I would look into the rear-view mirror. Fortunately all I saw was darkness. Can you imagine how I would freak out if something suddenly appeared out of the darkness in my mirror? The urban legend of Bloody Mary uses the concept of the mirror leading into the spirit world.
Images on Photos. Sometimes the horror is scene as blurry images on photos or as images on the negatives. This has an interesting horror factor when the story protagonist and the audience are suddenly aware that the entity had been along side them all the while. In one very scary Thai movie, the hero realises that he has been capturing images of a ghost when he takes pictures of his friends. He figures this out when his friends all die ghastly deaths. Now trying to protect himself, he uses a polaroid camera to try to see the ghost approaching him. He takes photo after photo but despite no image of a ghost, he still senses its presence. Finally he realises something and he points the camera on himself and when the photo comes out, he sees the ghost sitting piggy-back on his shoulder and smiling into the camera. Creepy!
Evil Clown. Take something that kids trust like a clown or a teddy bear and make it evil. Probably because it affects our childhood security blankets, this can be a very effective vehicle for representing horror. The clown, well, clowns around but when he smiles his broad smile, why are his teeth shaped like needles. This concept was famously done in Stephen King's "It".
The Old Hag. One of the scariest effect for me is the Old Hag. This is when someone sleeps and has a nightmare but it doesn't end when he/she awakes. Instead, he wakes, he cannot move, he feels a weight on his chest making it hard to breathe and as the fog of sleep fades, to reveal the old hag's ugly face just inches from his. The Old Hag is an idea that evolved from the idea of witches and/or the incubus/succubus. I think this is scary because we feel vulnerable when we sleep and we are afraid to wake up to such horrors. I know it isn't quite the same but I once went to sleep in a jungle camp and woke up to a dead giant praying mantis right next to my face. I gave a little shreek. If it was an Old Hag, I would have jumped out of my skin. Speaking of skin, Ol' Skinner has an Old Hag experience in the X-Files. In an interesting twist, although the X-Files' Old Hag was darn scary, she turns out to be a benevolent protector.
Levitation. Levitation is a very good horror vehicle if used subtly. It's most effective when you do not realise that there is any levitation to start with at the beginning. When you finally realise it, the horror seems to just roll over you. This was in the closing scene of "The Blair Witch Project" when the last survivor thinks she sees a friend and only realises a little late that his feet does not touch the ground.

What Horror concepts works for you?

Menu for Illusion Only

2009-05-30T01:11:00.009+08:00

It's Friday night. To celebrate, my wife and I went to have dinner at a Hong Kong style Restaurant which we had not been to for awhile. After struggling through the heavy Friday evening traffic, it felt wonderful to be seated at the table, sipping Chinese tea and looking at the large menu.

And then, I found my self staring at the menu. Staring, staring and then laughing. The menu was mostly in Chinese but they were also considerate enough to include an English translation and there is where the fun started. Here are some of the gems:-

"The pictures are only for illusion only."

"The food comes complete with ingredients"

"Like hero and beautiful woman,
good food goes with good wine.
We recommend our corn no saur wine."

"Try our fresh lazy river fish."

In honor of such literary brilliance, I offer the following other jewels for your reading pleasure.

I know Chinese have a reputation of eating anything but cowboys and germs........really?
And here's a bonus picture. When you don't know what it is called, just stick with what you know.

A Different Kind of Memorial

2009-05-26T00:45:00.006+08:00

I know that our American friends have just celebrated their Memorial Day during which they honor their servicemen and those who have fought for their country. During a visit to Kerta Gosa, Bali, I came across a very different kind of memorial monument. It was not to honor their heroes and victorious warriors but to remember their honorable defeat and annihilation.

Kerta Gosa was built on 1686 by the First King of Klungkung, Ida I Dewa Agung Jambe as part of his palace in Klungkung that was called Semara Pura which means 'A holy place for love and beauty'. Kerta Gosa consists of two buildings (Bale akerta gosa and Bale Kambang) set within a garden and lake complex called Taman Gili. The former functioned as a Court of Justice and the latter which was beautifully positioned in the centre of the gardens, functioned as a meeting place or an audience hall for the King. It is also called the Floating Hall as it is surrounded by a lake.

Both these buildings have elaborately decorated ceilings consisting of panels painted in the two-dimensional "wayang" or puppet style and have been called Bali's Sistine Chapel. The paintings centre round the journey of Bima Swarga through heaven and hell to try to rescue and redeem his parent's soul. In turn though, it reminded convicts awaiting trial the kind of suffering and punishments that await them in hell. Some of these are quite grotesque.

(video & photos by LGS)

Just across the road from Kerta Gosa is another all together different monument. It is called the Puputan monument and it and the painting below remembers the tragic end of the kingdom. Puputan refers to the suicidal last stand of the local defenders in the face of overwhelming odds.
Those that could would die fighting but others including women would ritually commit suicide rather than be subject to rule by foreign conquerors. A number of notable puputans occured in Bali between 1906-1908. Such a disaster happened at Klungkung Palace on 18th April 1908 when faced with invading Dutch soldiers equipped with modern firepower. The battle was completely one-sided and several thousands were killed.

This is the ugly side of colonialisation and imperialism and its human costs to the practically defenceless local populations and this too should never be forgotten.

Basic Squirrel 101

2009-05-22T19:15:00.006+08:00

Today, a work colleague came up to ask me to identify a squirrel. He said that he heard that I was into squirrels. I was taken aback. Evidently my secret identity as the Lone Grey Squirrel was not so secret after all and someone has made the connection between my internet alter ego and my real identity. Hmmmm. In hindsight, I'm so glad I decided against posting up the photo of me dressed as a squirrel wearing only a red underwear and a cape. Those things have a way of coming back to haunt you.

The other reason I was taken aback was that I did not know the answer! Shock horror! Anyway, I did a little research but I think I now know the answer. Apparently, he took a photograph of a squirrel which he thought was a plantain squirrel (which is common in these parts) but whereas the plantain squirrel was marked, this was not marked. His question was what squirrel looks like an unmarked plantain squirrel.

THE ANSWER: PLANTAIN vs PLAIN
The Plantain Squirrel has a grey body and a light brown belly with a white and a black stripe between the two. The plain Slender Squirrel is slightly smaller has a grey body and a pale belly and no markings.

The Plantain Squirrel

The Slender Squirrel

Anyway, since there has been a lot of interest on squirrels lately from readers and visitors to this blog, I have decided to provide a basic introduction to the world of squirrels or Squirrel 101.

SQUIRREL 101:
There are 365 species of squirrel (one for each day of the year!) which belong to seven families. They can be roughly divided into tree squirrels, ground squirrels and flying squirrels. Grey squirrels are tree squirrels and the only group worth discussing further. Ground squirrels may be cute clowns but basically they have become confused between burying nuts in the ground and burying themselves in the ground. On the other hand, flying squirrels are just a bunch of self-absorbed show-offs. So we will now just concentrate on Tree Squirrels.

Tree Squirrels can also be divided into several main groups.

Grey Squirrels
Originally from North America (ranging from the Deep South and all the way to Canada), the grey squirrel has made its way to U.K. and even Italy where they are out competing the local squirrels due to their strong work ethic and cuteness. Grey Squirrels are the liberals and moderates of the squirrel world. Grey squirrels mantra is that "There is no black or white. Instead much of life is grey". Grey squirrels really range from pepper and salt color, all the way to melanistic black. The paler squirrels are in the Deep South while most of the black squirrels are in Canada. The reason for this is unclear but some say that this is due to the large number of black slave squirrels that were smuggled to freedom in Canada by the Underground Railway in the 19th century.

Red Squirrels
Red Squirrels are found in many parts of the world but the populations of major importance are found in Europe. The European Reds are basically protectionists, left wing, communist unionists who are always protesting about the more hard working Greys!

British Reds have similar political positions but they are better characterised by other major characteristics. Specifically, English Reds are basically soccer fans. Some support the "Reds" (i.e. Liverpool) while others support the "Red Devils" (i.e. Manchester United).

Scottish Reds instead are more concerned with Scottish independence being as they are the proud descendents of the original red-haired Pict squirrels, begorrah. These squirrels were never defeated by the Roman Legions!

Non-Aligned Squirrels
The remaining world squirrels can basically non-aligned, apolitical, third world, hard working squirrels with low carbon pawprints. They are just happy to be left alone and undisturbed.

Disclaimer: No squirrels were injured in this parody. The only thing hurt was the truth.

Nuts Even Squirrels Can't Love

2009-05-19T19:52:00.004+08:00

I just love this photo which I found floating about in the internet (sorry, don't know who to credit). It reminds me ever so much of a Jasper Carrot comedy sketch entitled "Nutter on the Bus". To hear the sketch, click on the title in the previous sentence.

For you lazy so and so's, I have also included part of the script below which I have to thank Gavin Corder for as I lifted it off his blog ;

When the nutter gets on the bus, why does the nutter always sit next to me?

I was on the bus the other day and I could hear this nutter getting on behind me. I can tell he's a nutter because he's calling out...

'Eeek! Has anyone seen my camel!!?'

And everyone on the bus is praying quietly ‘Please God don’t let the nutter sit next to me. I’ll do anything you want but please don’t let the nutter sit next to me’

Nutters love showing you things, "I've got an atom bomb in here!"

And he shows me a corned beef tin ...

Well once you've got the nutter everyone else can enjoy it...

Anyway, back to the photo. That green thing could be the Swamp-Thing or even cousin Thing from the Munsters but most likely it is just a Nutter on the Subway and I have to tell you that this is one nutter that even this squirrel won't want to collect.

I love the look on the face of the woman sitting next to him. Looks like she is thinking of something appropriate to say, doesn't it? The man in the background however, doesn't care. He's just glad the nutter did not sit next to him.

I was wondering what the Nutter might say to the woman. Or what the woman might say to the Nutter. Any suggestions? Be creative but please keep it PG-13. Look forward to seeing the products of your wicked imagination.

Never Again?

2009-05-17T23:27:00.003+08:00

The Tugu Peringatan or Memorial Monument was completed in 1966 to honor the more than 11,000 soldiers from Malaysia that made the ultimate sacrifice for their country starting from World War I and on to World War II, Independence and the Emergency Period (a period of communist insurgency) and the Confrontation (with mighty Indonesia). The 15 m high bronze statue was the biggest in the world at that time. This monument is an important icon on Malaysia's path and history of nation building. We proclaim to the fallen, their families and all Malaysians now and in the future, that we will "never forget".

In contrast, the May 13th Incident seems to be something that Malaysians of all persuasions seem to want to forget. On May 13th 1969, race riots and sectarian violence erupted in Kuala Lumpur and some other parts of the country. By the time the smoke cleared, it is believed that more than 2,000 men, women and children were killed. Most of them were innocent and defenceless civilians. Official figures claim less than 200 killed. Many will forever be lost to their families allegedly coated in black paint (to make racial identification difficult) and buried in unmarked mass graves. There were stories of great brutality but there were also stories of great bravery and integrity on the part of the police, armed forces and ordinary citizens. Many stories tell of neighbours protecting each other irrespective of race or political leanings. However, a certain innocence of race harmony would be lost that day too.

Just a couple of days ago, a prominent journalist wrote that his young grand-daughter had no idea about the May 13th Incident and that in his opinion this was a good thing as this meant there is hope for the young generation to bring the nation forward without these baggages from the past. So instead of "never forget", we are being encouraged "not to remember it anymore".

I have to disagree. I think it is both a responsibility and a need to "never forget". To all those who were murdered, we cannot forget. Not because we should seek to perpetuate a legacy of hatred and to promote revenge but to ensure that their deaths serve a purpose in warning us from going down that dark path again. In remembering, we can learn from history and avoid the same mistakes in the future. "Never forget" can than become "never again". However, those who do not learn from history's mistakes are doomed to repeat it again. I certainly hope for Malaysians that we learn and do not repeat our mistakes.

Unfortunately, despite the monuments and memorial days that we see around the world, I sense that most of the world is neither remembering nor learning from the past. World War I was the war to end all wars. Never again was the cry; yet within a few years, we were on the road to World War II.

Last century saw the Holocaust. We set up memorials and said never again. Yet just as the Jews were persecuted under Nazi Germany, today the Palestinians suffer under the heavy boot of Israel. Sure, we can analyse and given reasons and argue who has more rights but in my opinion oppression and killing of the defenceless will always be unjust. Why did we not learn?

Genocide, ethnic cleansing and even fracticide has occured again and again. The Khmer Rogue and the killing fields of Cambodia. The horrors of Rwanda. Even now, it is happening in places like Darfur, Sudan and the world seems unable and unwilling to do what it must to stop it.

I think that the first step to "never again" is to make sure that the whole world "never forgets" the lessons of the past. Instead of re-writing history, being politically sensitive and hiding these incidents, we need to do even more to highlight them, to teach about them in schools, universities and museums and to make sure that these terrible deeds are exposed before the powerful light of public consciousness. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Let us instead remember, learn and prevent these horrors from visiting us again.

Stay Away From the Light

2009-05-15T23:59:00.006+08:00

It was 1983. It was my first big adventure, backpacking across Europe primarily by myself. After an overnight train ride followed by a rough bus ride from Zagreb, I was extremely excited when I arrived at Plitvice Lakes National Park in what was then still Yugoslavia (this UNESCO World Heritage Site is today in Croatia). I just love nature, the great outdoors and water and the lush wildlife rich forests, limestone hills and caves and cascading lakes scores high in all those aspects.

After finding a place to stay in a home in the village of Jezerce, I hurried to the entrance of the Park and spent the whole afternoon in delirious exploration of the trails, waterfalls, lakes, beaches, boardwalks, caves and vistas of the Park. I was running around all over like a kid in Wonderland. It remains one of the best days I had ever had. Time quickly passed and before I knew it, the sun was beginning to sink behind the hills.

At this stage, I thought of hiking it back to the village but as I was approaching the exit, I was waylaid by this most exquisite aroma. It was the smell of fish being grilled and it came from the Park's outdoor restaurant. Until then, I had been mostly surviving on stale bread and cheese to save money while on my cross Europe trek. Now after a whole afternoon of rambling and scrambling, I was hungry and when I saw how inexpensive the food was as compared to other parts of Europe, my resistance crumbled. I took a seat and ordered grilled trout.

I had a great dinner but by the time I had finished, night had fallen. To my dismay, I then realised that apart from the restaurant which was then already closing, there were no lights to be seen. It had slipped my mind that I was now in the countryside and in a wilderness area. Although I had a torchlight, it was sitting in my backpack in my room in Jezerce, some 3 km away. I fumbled my way out of the Park and on to the road that led to Jezerce.

The road was not very wide although two cars could pass each other easily. At the side of the road was a narrow verge and then the tall pine trees of the surrounding forests rose high into the night sky so that it blocked off most of the light from the stars. It was very dark and I could barely make out the road. It was also getting very chilly. I had no choice. A warm bed awaited but I would have to navigate this road in the darkness.

As I walked, I realised that I knew very little about this part of the world and its forests. I knew there were bears and wolves in some parts of Europe. Were there any here? I did not know and my heart beat faster in my ignorance. I managed to find a fallen tree branch of suitable length and used it like a blindman's walking cane, probing the area in front of me. The branch might also come in handy if I did encounter any wolves or at least that was what I comforted myself with.

The journey was slow and stressful. Perhaps an hour had passed and I saw no one else nor any signs of lights from dwellings. The sky above was ablaze with stars twinkling in the chilly night air but I plodded along a dark road lined by dark silent trees. Then, in the distance, I saw a single bright beam of light appear on the road. It was coming towards me at a reasonably fast speed. I realised that it must be a motorcycle and was glad that to have even that little bit of light to illuminate my way.

The light got nearer and bigger and brighter. Eventually, it was so bright, I could not look into it. I moved to the side of the road to allow the motorcycle to pass. Then suddenly, it was upon me. To my horror, it was not a motorbike at all. Instead it turned out to be a massive juggernaut, a big 16 wheeler monster that was barreling down this country road that was barely wide enough to accomodate it and at high speed. To cap it all, it had only one headlight working.

The driver may also have been surprised to see me and seconds before I reacted, I heard the loud blast of its air horn. Th sound galvanised me into action and I threw myself off the road and into some bushes at the edge of the forest. The juggernaut rolled by with such speed that I could feel the air and myself being sucked towards the wheels as they passed. Then just as quickly, the lights and noise of the truck disappeared and darkness and quiet returned.

It had been another close brush with an unpleasant end. I made it to the village and safety without further incident but I was cold, bruised and in shock and it took a very long soak in a warm bath before I recovered any color in my cheeks.

If I had learned any lesson from this experience, it is to appreciate the truth behind the following wise sayings; "Stay away from the light." and "The light at the end of the tunnel may turn out to be a speeding train." Oh, and you would have thought that I would have also learnt the importance of bringing a torchlight along when walking on dark roads and forests but I still forget from time to time.

For all you readers with morbid curiosities who wanted me to conclude my previous post about near death experiences, let me just say that apart from what has already been mentioned, I also had Scarlet Fever, had a lorry rip off my car door, escaped being impaled by metal rods from the back of a lorry and been in at least 3 car accidents including one in which I caused the car to spin 3 times. That's all folks.......and it is quite enough, don't you think?

Season Extended

2009-05-12T23:40:00.005+08:00

Biochemistry may be considered to be the scientific study of the chemistry of life. However, my biochemistry professor used to say that, "The more one studies biochemistry, the more one asks, not how is it we are alive but why aren't we dead." By this he meant that the further we probe into the complex interactions that keep us alive, the wonder of life is replaced by the amazement that something has not already gone wrong.

Indeed, to stay alive, some two million different proteins must be functioning properly. These proteins consist of chains of amino acids in a specific sequence that can be as short as 51 units (insulin) or as long as 26,926 (connectin). Now consider that in many of those two million proteins, a single amino acid in the wrong place in the sequence may be enough to kill you. On top of that, the level of these proteins must also be just right in relation to each other. To try to understand this, try picturing that you have to type words consisting of between 51 and 26,926 letters each in an exact sequence and then make sure that you type these words an exact number of times which is specific for each of the two million different words. And now try to imagine that you have to keep typing this with close to 100% accuracy again and again or it is game over!

Okay, enough with the science lesson. The point that I am trying to make is that it is a miracle that we are alive and a miracle that we stay alive and that is just from the aspect of our body function. Next we have to consider that we live in a dangerous world full of myriads of possible threats. Life could be snuffed out by natural phenomena, illness, contact with dangerous plants and animals, machinery, other humans etc........ Again, I think we ought to be thankful we are still alive.

In my last post, I kind of joked about being a Star Trek Redshirt (i.e. he who gets killed off in the very first episode). I must say that I am thankful that I have made it to my 47th year. There have been occasions that my season could have ended but God has chosen to extend my contract. I don't know why He has done so but I know He has set my Guardian Angel to protect me thus far. Sometimes, my own stupidity has kept my Guardian Angel busy.

Below are just some of the incidents that I remember which we may call my near death experiences or perhaps preferably, my life extention experiences.

1. The Glass Guilotine. When I was a toddler, I apparently smashed my hand through a pane glass door and a sheet of glass came crashing down that could have taken my head off but I escaped with a badly cut finger and a scar today to show for it.

2. The Rotting Gut. I had a bad stomach pain when I was 11 years old. I went to hospital for observation but the pain disappeared overnight. The doctor came in the morning and decided to discharge me, However, despite my best effort to get out of there like the wind, a more senior doctor came and decided that I should have some exploratory surgery. I protested that I was well but he insisted. He operated and saved me from a perforated appendix.

3. The Rock Landing. When I was about 12, I went for a school picnic at the foot of a dam. All of us were excited when the bus dropped us at the top of a small valley. To get to the bottom where we could picnic and swim, we had to negotiate a slope of about 30-40 degrees consisting of loose rocks. Overgrowing the rocks were some jungle creepers. In my enthusiasm, I grabbed hold of a couple of food hampers and made my way down. The hampers were not heavy but they were bulky and they inhibited my line of sight so that as I was making my way down, I caught my foot on a creeper vine and went flying into the air. I feared the worse. Yet, despite falling a vertical distance of more than twenty feet, I landed on my feet in the loose rocks, kept my balance, suffered no injury and even managed to catch my two food hampers. I think my Guardian Angel was particularly alert that day.

4. The Bicycle Incident. When I was 14, I stayed away from home for a month with family friends in the boondocks and I enjoyed the freedom and new experiences. I eventually became a very good bicycle rider but that was not so at the beginning. At the beginning, I was an idiot and a klutz. One early trip, I decided to cycle to a nearby village post office to mail some letters. The bicycle I used had a basket in the front and I placed my letters there. Before long, I was cycling along a pothole ridden single lane road that led to the village. Despite being a small country road, the vehicular traffic was heavy and often recklessly fast. I was happily cycling along when it all happened in a flash. The bicycle hit a pothole; the letters flew up and one fell out; without thinking, I bent into the traffic and grabbed at the letter. Next thing I heard was a loud horn and I felt the rush of a car passing less than an inch from my head.

5. The Gang Standoff. When I was 16, I regularly played basketball at my school which had two basketball courts side by side. One Saturday, as we were playing (and you could consider my gang of 10 to be mostly skinny nerds), we were suddenly approached by a gang of 10 ruffians. They were looking for a fight. They started pushing and intimidating us and nothing we said could placate them. Things got worse by the minute as some of them picked up long metal pipes from a nearby construction site. Others showed us that they were armed with hunting knives. Honestly, all I could do was pray and wait for the pain to start. Then at almost the point of no return, a well respected atheletic school prefect came by and at great risk to himself, intervened. So instead of fighting, we played each other in a rough and tough basketball game. We lost the game but won some respect from the other gang and parted on better terms. However, it could have been so easily been quite bloody.

This post is already too long and I haven't even told you how I survived beyond my teen years. I will have to continue in the next post. However, I would very much like to hear how you, dear readers, are survivors. I am sure you have similar or even more interesting stories of your own life extension experiences.

Phasers on Kill

2009-05-09T20:05:00.004+08:00

I am a big fan of Star Trek, especially the original series with James Tiberius Kirk, Spock and the rest of the first USS Enterprise crew. In honor of the new movie representing this time period and story line, I thought it would be fun to see which Star Trek character would I be as according to this deviously designed personality quiz.

Readers would have probably noticed from my recent posts that I was going through one of periodic funks when I despair for the human race. I thought that doing this quiz would be a pick-me-up but I was wrong as I turned out to be..........expendable.

Your results:
You are An Expendable Character (Redshirt)

An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		80%
Spock		77%
Deanna Troi		75%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		65%
Geordi LaForge		60%
Uhura		50%
Beverly Crusher		50%
Jean-Luc Picard		45%
Will Riker		45%
Data		37%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		35%
Chekov		35%
Mr. Scott		30%
Mr. Sulu		30%
Worf		30%

Since your accomplishments are seldom noticed,
and you are rarely thought of, you are expendable.
That doesn't mean your job isn't important but if you
were in Star Trek you would be killed off in the first
episode you appeared in.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

In hindsight, I should have not been surprised at my rather poor result on this quiz. In fact I have never done well in these internet character quizzes or name generators as you can see here.

Dark Secret

2009-05-07T23:26:00.004+08:00

Again and again, reputations are brought to ruin by scandalous photos circulating on the internet. The Squirrel too has not been able to escape this scourge.

A lot of people think I got a scholarship to see me through my higher education but the dark, sad truth is..........

Thanks for bearing with my recent spat of dark and depressing posts. Hope you found this one a little bit light-hearted.

Surprised, Shocked and Bewildered

2009-05-04T22:38:00.004+08:00

I consider myself a well-traveled and seasoned squirrel and thought that nothing much surprises or shocks me anymore. However, I stand corrected as I was just recently extremely surprised, shocked and significantly disgusted.

I refer to an agency named Ashley Madison and their services. I came across this in the papers and apparently they have run adverts on TV in the USA. Their slogan is "Life is short. Have an affair." and it hails itself as the "world's #1 married dating service specifically for attached men and women who are looking to have an extra-marital affair."

That is right. It is basically a dating service that specializes in linking those who wish to have extramaritial relationships and romps with other unfaithful married individuals. When challenged and accused of encouraging adultery and for being a "Home Wreckers Incorporated", their reply is "Ashley Madison does not encourage anyone to stray … Providing a service like ours does not make someone more likely to stray any more than increasing the availability of glassware contributes to alcoholism".

I have not included any links cause I do not want to inadvertantly encourage any of my readers to stray over there. However, I suspect if you really want to, you will find your own way there. Certainly business is good with 2.5 million members signing on for their services. Furthermore the company even boasts that their business is recession resistant and even seems to be booming in the current economic crisis.

The reason, the company claims, is that many people are trying to avoid the trauma and costs of divorce (including trying to sell the home in a depressed real estate market) during this period of recession. So instead, they hang on and take advantage of the service to have several discreet affairs.

Wow, good business model! But hang on, it is basically immoral and it is encouraging the breakdown of the family unit even if both parties remain married and have separate swinging affairs through this agency. The CEO of Ashley Madison is Noel Biderman who is married with children. I wonder how he explains his work to his children and if any of his children's friends parents make use of his company's services. Heck, would he be so philosophical if his own wife cheated on him.

I also came across another company that provides alibis. It claims that "it provides professional assistance to facilitate a private maritial affair". They can send an official invitation for you to attend a conference or trade show in the city of your choice, call your spouse to seek confirmation of your participation and hence give your alibi credibility, provide phone forwarding services, create websites of the non-existing hotel and provide all the bills, letters and documents to assist in the deception. This allows you to have your extra-maritial tyrst in complete confidence and stress free. The same service can even create false reference letters for job applications.

Isn't all this illegal? Apparently not but I think it should be. The family unit is the most important part of the fabric of our society and the marraige vows are meant to be serious and a lifetime commitment to each other. Anything that causes the breakdown of that unit is to be avoided as so many people end up being hurt when the family unit fallls apart, especially the children. Infidelity should not be encouraged, let alone facilitated. This is an immoral business.

I would never be involved in a company that promotes infidelity or gives false references. I draw the line here and will not cross it. The furthest I will go is to have a company that gives fake excuse notes (with forged parent's signature) for kids who want to skip school and can afford to pay the price.

I jest of course. Yet, in this confused world that we live in, there will probably be those who would condemn my "kid friendly" service while having no problems with using Ashley Madison.

On a totally semi-related matter, the result of the poll for "Husband of the Year" award, the winner is Ireland. Congratulations Ireland. Despite making your wife carry the heavy crate of Guiness, voters liked the fact that you were romantic enough to hold her hand while she was doing that. In the spirit of the award, the Irish husband gets a one week trip for one to the Guiness Brewery and the Irish wife gets one week free of her husband and a week free trail with Ashley Madison.

May Madness

2009-05-02T00:30:00.004+08:00

First, a warning. This is the type of post in which the beginning and the end has very little relation to each other except via the convoluted connections made in my unkempt mind.

So to start the post, I had hoped to give due recognition to May 1st which is an internationally recognised holiday which may be called the International Worker's Day or Labour Day. I have to qualify this statement. Most countries in the world celebrate Labour Day on May 1st with a few notable exceptions which include the USA (September 5th) and Canada (first Monday in September). Labour Day was meant to commemorate victories and achievements in the fight for workers' rights and in particular the adoption of an 8 hour working day.

For most of the world, May 1st was chosen to remember the Haymarket Massacre in Chicago in 1886 during which police fired upon workers taking part in a general strike in support of the 8 hour working day. The USA, on the other hand, wanted to distance itself from remembering that incident and also from the strong support of May 1st by Socialist and Communist groups and chose September 5th instead which commemorated a working man's parade in New York by the Knights of Labour in 1882. Canada's Labour Day in turn commemorates a different struggle, this time by the printers in Toronto in 1872 but also for a shorter work hours.

This is perhaps a rather long-winded way to say that I am on holiday today. It made me think though that so many of us take for granted the Labour Day holidays and think of it merely as an opportunity for a long weekend. In doing so, we are also taking for granted the basic workers' rights that most of us currently enjoy and do a disservice to the memory of those who fought for these rights and who, in some cases, paid with their lives for it.

Those of us with jobs should be even more grateful as the world reels under the current economic crisis, for many will be losing their jobs and facing great difficulties. Some will come to the edge of the precipice. Some may go off the edge. We cannot tell how much damage and human suffering will result from this crisis which many are saying is as bad as and perhaps worse than the Great Depression. I read with sadness, stories of men killing their whole family before killing themselves. Recently at Jay's blog, we read of someone jumping to his death. While I do not know why he jumped, many others have jumped due to the pain brought on by financial despair.

While in no way do I condone these actions, I can understand to a degree, why these people have resorted to these actions. They have lost hope. The tragedy is that they cannot see the hope that may be just round the corner. All of us must be responsible to share each other's burdens and to hold out hope to those immersed in hopelessness.

The Great Depression was certainly a time of great hardship and of great despair. An affluent America may perhaps have forgotten the hard lessons learnt back then but with the current economic crisis, some of those ugly days may be back again.

Here is where my brain makes a sharp turn and heads off into a new direction. For this, we have to return to a recent post in which I answered a question on which book, art piece, or music has been an influence on my life. Missing from the list is which movie has been an influence. As I was considering this post and my thoughts moved over to the Great Depression, this movie came to mind. It was the 1969 Sydney Pollack drama entitled "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?".

This movie was set in the Depression period and focussed on a couple taking part in a dance marathon competition. The 1,500 dollars prize money draws many other desperate individuals to participate as a way out of their dilemma. However, when our protagonists (Jane Fonda and Michael Sarrazin) discover that the organisers intend to cheat the winners by imposing all kinds of deductions, what fragile hope that they still harbored seemed to vanish like the morning mist.
In the aftermath, Jane's character asks Michael's character for help to commit suicide. He shoots her in the head and later when the police asks him why he did it, he replied, "They shoot horses, don't they?"

This movie was very influential to me, making me realise and understand more about the state of hope and hopelessness. The last line and title of the movie was a cynical reminder that we ofter treat animals better than we treat our fellow humans. As I had said, I do not condone the actions of all those who kill their families and/or themselves because of the financial crisis. They may have lost hope but I believe hope is always just round the corner. Certainly, there is more to life that is worthwhile and which is not lost just due to financial distress. However, what they may have needed is someone to reach out to them and remind them that there is still hope; that the total darkness they find themselves in is only a temporary eclipse, to sit with them in the darkness until they can find the sun again in the smiles of their friends and the love of their families.

So to end this post, I will include this clip of some of the more significant scenes of this movie that won an Oscar for Gig Young as Best Supporting Actor and got 7 other nominations.

When Men Were Real Men

2009-04-28T01:10:00.008+08:00

Do you remember a time when men were real men? Not "soft and sensitive" new age guys or "in touch with their feminine side" metro-sexuals? It was a time when men bravely took charge of the family and led it with a firm and sure hand. A time when they went out into the harsh world and brought back the bacon. A time when they knew how to take care of their women. Today, many men could do with role models on how to be real men in their marraiges....... real men to their wives.

The Lone Grey Squirrel has resorted to scouring the internet and theft (in the tradition of Sneaky) to bring you the best examples of the strong, caring and take charge husband. Please vote for your favorite for the "Husband of the Year" award. (see poll on the sidebar; results will be tabulated after a week).

Here are your "Husband of the Year" Nominees from.......

Albania

England

Poland

USA

Ireland

Sneaky the Burglar

2009-04-23T21:01:00.004+08:00

It has been awhile since I posted on my extended squirrel family from Ottawa, so here is a quick re-cap. My guide to the squirrel mob is Spikey. His love interest is Loonie while his nemesis is Speedy. Spikey and Loonie came up with their own little mob with daughters, Goldie and Blondie.

Today, I want to introduce you to a squirrel which I named Sneaky on account of his slightly longer snout and beady eyes which makes him look ......well, sneaky. I cannot, of course, be sure but I think Sneaky is related to Spikey in some way; perhaps a younger sibling. I first saw him one early spring day tagging along with Spikey as he came by my little garden. While Spikey came near to do his regular routine of dance and begging for a handout of peanuts from me, Sneaky positioned himself some distance away and seemed to take in Spikey's smooching routine but showing no inclination to follow suit. Despite seeing Spikey's success at getting peanuts, Sneaky soon lost interest and wandered off to a nearby bird feeder which he proceeded to raid.

Sneaky never ever came by for a handout. I got the impression that begging and handouts was just not his scene. He would only do what respectable squirrels have done for generations ......steal from bird feeders.

One spring morning, I observed as Sneaky came by with the two young girls, Goldie and Loonie. The girls were born that spring and were still finding there way around the outside world. Just a couple of weeks earlier, the girls came across the wooden deck where I would place some nuts for the squirrels. This was their first exposure to the wooden deck and they treated it with suspicion. They would dig their feet into the dirt at the edge of the deck and arch their bodies over to take the nuts, taking great care to ensure their bodies do not touch the unfamiliar wooden surface.

Anyway, it was clear that Sneaky seemed to be on baby-sitting duty with the girls and had taken it on himself to introduce them to the bird feeder. Initially, the girls followed him closely until they reached a small bush adjacent to where the bird feeder hung on a long chain from the roof of the house. All three squirrels climbed into the bush.

Sneaky started to cause the bush to sway. As the bush swayed to and fro, the branch on which Sneaky was on was inching closer to the bird feeder. The girls appeared dutifully attentive. With one final effort, Sneaky sprung his coiled body when the branch was close to the feeder and was able to grab hold of it. There he was, holding on to the feeder with his front paws while his feet remained gripping the branch of the bush. While holding this position, he started to chitter at the girls. It seemed clear to me that he wanted the girls to cross over to the feeder while he held it in place for them.

Unfortunately, when Sneaky grabbed the feeder, he inadvertently knocked off some seeds on to the ground below. Instead of crossing on to the feeder, the two girls clambered down the bush and started feasting on the seeds on the ground. Sneaky chittered some more but the girls ignored him.

So for several precious moments, I had a view of this increasingly agitated squirrel stretched between the bush and the feeder chittering at the two younger squirrels who were feeding on the seeds on the ground. After the girls had finished eating their fallen bounty, they just lopped off and disappeared into the distance. All this while, Sneaky was still holding on and chittering but when the girls disappeared from sight, he became silence.

He hung on for a few seconds more. He blinked his beady eyes a couple of times and then must have realised his peculiar position and after awhile, he released his hold on the bush and swung on to the bird feeder. He appeared a little disconcerted that the girls showed little regard to the art of bird feeder raiding. He paused for a moment and seemed to fluff up his fur as he sat there in the warm spring sun. Then with a shake of the head, he dismissed the girls and proceeded to eat his stolen bounty at the bird feeder.

I never again saw him try to teach the girls how to raid the feeder. Nor did I see him ever take any of my handouts. Sneaky had no problems with the other squirrels taking the handouts but it was not for him. He prefered the honor and excitement of stealing for a living.

Jo Wants to Know

2009-04-19T20:48:00.001+08:00

Josie had a great post in which she was interviewed. She seemed to have so much fun answering the questions. Just as we had a great time reading her replies and learning more about her. Anyway, a bunch of masochistic exhibitionists (myself included) excitedly lined up to be interviewed in turn by Josie. So here are her Questions and my answers.

1. Have you ever been influenced by a work of art – music, painting, book – and if so, how?
Music has been very influential in my life but it has always been different songs at different parts of my life. I have posted on this before ( theme songs I and theme songs II). The painting that has had the biggest impact on me is probably Christina's World by Andrew Wyeth. This picture gives a great sense of the challenge of life played in context against the wide canvas of space. It contrasts both the importance and insignificance of human existance. It has helped influence the way I think. As far as the printed word, I would say that apart from the Bible, it would have to be the short story by Maxim Gorky entitled "One Autumn Night" which again reminds us that our fates are not really in our control but we all need the chance encounters with other humans and that we all need acts of kindness and love.

2. If you were a chocolate bar, what type would you be?
I imagine myself to be a pretty straight forward guy; what you see is what you get. No surprises. Perhaps a little understated. I suppose that makes me a plain and perhaps boring milk chocolate bar.

3. What is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex?
Hmm. I don't really know. Nothing obvious. I have always found it easy to make friends with the opposite sex. Perhaps they find me comforting......like a "milk chocolate bar"?

4. What, in your opinion, is your greatest accomplishment?
I was once involved in getting some young people out of the clutches of a brain-washing cult and stopping their activities in my area. The cult was eventually disbanded a year later when the leaders were arrested after they caused the death of some of their followers' children by refusing them medical treatment. I am glad that God gave me the opportunity and the strength to get those young people out of that potentially dangerous situation.

Doing independent traveling through Europe for a month would be my next choice as it helped build up my self-confidence and strengthen my character. It is an accomplishment that I am proud of and which brings me much satisfaction.

5. How many friends do you have on your Facebook account?
Well, I had about 12 friends on my Facebook account before I pulled the plug because I found that Facebook was taking up too much of my time.

Fuzzy and the Poet Scientist

2009-04-16T22:52:00.006+08:00

It is sometimes said that scientists lack the heart of a poet and because of that they end up inventing the atomic bomb. Being cold and clinical is just that; cold and clinical. Scientists can excel in the service of mankind only if they retain their contact with humanity and possess the heart of a poet.

Well, if that is true, then I am a very well trained scientist. This is because my mentor and my very first Professor of Biochemistry was indeed a scientist and a poet. Well, more of a songwriter or perhaps a jingle maker. I refer to no less than the highly esteemed Prof. Harold Baum, previously of Chelsea College and now of King's College, University of London.

Every Christmas, Prof. Baum undertakes to write a song which explains an entire complex biochemical pathway in the time it takes him to sit on a bus from his office to his home. This musical treat would then be premiered during the Department Christmas Dinner. As a result, he has actually published a songbook of chemical reactions called The Biochemist's Songbook.

At any rate, the real story for this post starts here. I got an SMS text out of the blue from my good friend, Fuzzy, of whom I have posted about before. Seems he is holidaying in Egypt. Anyway, because of that SMS, I got thinking about another post in the Fuzzy series and decided to focus on Fuzzy and his poetic skills.

Fuzzy is incredibly talented as a poet. It seems to just flow effortlessly from him. When he puts his mind to it, he can really write top notch stuff. Unfortunately, being the eccentric that he is, he often puts his talent to less socially acceptable and productive uses such as writing poems or rhymes on ransom notes for kidnapped stuff toys. Yes, there was a time in our student residences when hard working students were busy kidnapping and holding stuffed toys for ransom to the tune of several Mars Bars or other equivalent snacks, instead of studying hard. Fuzzy's humorous rhymes were often found circulating on these notes.

This was in fact the reason that Fuzzy got his name. During one such teddy bear kidnapping, the owner did not cough up the required sweet ransom but instead left a threatening note outside Fuzzy's door which read;

Fuzzy Wuzzy stole a bear
Then Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
That meant he wasn't Fuzzy, was he?

This was a thinly veiled threat that Fuzzy's bushy hair might be removed while he slept if said bear was not returned. Tut. Tut. Such a violent threat and from such an otherwise sweet girl. So the name Fuzzy came from this incident.

Finally, let's get back to the beginning of this post about Prof. Baum and his Christmas Party. Well, one of the things the students tried to do every year was to come up with a less scholastic song in reply to Prof. Baum's newly unveiled chemical tune. Unfortunately, none of us Biochemistry undergrads were good songsmiths and so we had to make Fuzzy (who was actually a rival Immunologist) an honorary biochemist for the purpose of writing these songs. Ah, what fun we had in the rarified air of academia!

Sadly, I cannot remember most of what was written but let me end with just a short sample that I can vaguely recall. This is to be sung to the tune of Jingle Bells, of course.

Jingle Bells, Sulphide Smells,
Azides on the floor,
The Student swallowed cyanide
And he won't work anymore

The cells they came out whole,
The glass was to powder ground,
The centrifuge took off
And hovered six feet off the ground.

Oh, jingle bells...........

If any of you thought that I was a mad scientist, you now know I had a good teacher and super accomplices.

50,000 Nutters Have Come This Way

2009-04-13T21:20:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone!

Welcome to the new look "Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel". I took your advice (Geewits and Molly) about not using dark backgrounds but went for a template that I had not shown you guys earlier. I hope you like it. I struggled to get this new template done and I appreciated the advice from Janice and Jessica which were helpful. In the end, I gave up trying to transport all my widgets directly but re-built them after the transfer.

Anyway, here we are with the new look and just in time to commemorate the visitors' counter pass the 50,000 mark. I thought I would take this opportunity to reflect on what has been of interest to the visitors to this humble blog and also what I have enjoyed posting during this period.

TOP 5 (Comments)
Here are the 5 most popular posts of all time as determined by amount of comments solicited.

1. Half Mast, Half Post, Full Life (post about my dad after his passing away)
2. Bears Just Want to Have Fun ( one of a series of posts about animals but has an amazing video about polar bears and dogs)
3. Born Buddhist (my story about why I became a Christian)
4. Squirrel's Secret Spot 12: Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian (one of my Secret Spot series)
5. 300th Post (strangely, it was the post celebrating my 300th post milestone)

TOP 5 (Popular)
Here are the 5 most popular posts as determined by number of visits by the last 500 visitors.

1. Singapore Girl in Blue (ah, my ever popular photos of these popular girls)
2. Tag 5 ( a meme but they come to see my celebrity crushes)
3. My Ass Hurts (seems people like to read about my misfortunes or is it that they like my chocolate bunnies)
4. World Food Spot 8: Belgian Beer (ah, glad to share with fellow beer lovers)
5. Crucifixion I ( a post on Easter and the passion of Christ)

This blog is quite eclectic and represents a very chaotic and wandering mind. However, the top 5 topics or themes are humor, about people, about self, Malaysia and culture. Here just to highlight some of the posts from these themes, are either the most popular posts or my favorite post from within these themes.

HUMOR
1. Working, Working, Working
2. Advice From Dr. Love

PEOPLE
1. Odd One Out
2. Fathers and Daughters

SELF
1. Hippy Sick
2. Theme Songs II: From My Middle Ages

MALAYSIA
1. Have Gourd Will Travel
2. Field Report on Manglish

CULTURE
1. Theory of Relativity ......Explained
2. Secret Squirrel Spot No: 6 (Canals of England and Wales)

Thank you for joining my celebration of the 50,000th visitor. Just for fun, here is my own all time favorite video that I have posted so far.

Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri on Vimeo.

Something about that name

2009-04-11T00:27:00.003+08:00

Pure and holy Son of God
Taking on the form of man
Left the glory of His throne
Came to bring salvation plan

Righteous Father, Holy One
Looking down on us in love
Gave to us His only Son
Sent with blessings from above

But we took Him and we nail Him
To a cross made of wood
And we raised it high and dropped it
In the ground where it stood
And the blood that flowed to the earth below
Bought forgiveness for the world
That had treated Him so

Peace on earth, good will to men
At His birth the angels sang
Love and mercy from the throne
Through the earth His message rang

He came in love to bring us light in our darkness
He came in peace to bring release from our pain
He came in joy to bring us rest in our weariness
He came in love to bring us beauty again

(by Jimmy Owens)

Easter almost crept up on me this year. I have been busy at work and hadn't paid attention to the date coming closer. Probably the two most important Christian celebrations are Christmas and Easter. The world in general have made Christmas a big and unfortunately commercialized event but Easter is mostly ignored (although I hear that Americans might hide chocolate eggs in the garden and invoke the Easter Bunny).

Christmas celebrates the birth of a baby, Jesus. Easter remembers the completion of that life and his life's mission which was to die for the sins of all men and to defeat death by rising from the dead after three days. The symbol of Jesus love and suffering would be the cross and the vision of his victory over death would be the empty tomb.

If you know all about Christmas but know little about Easter, I hope you will take the opportunity to go to an Easter service, concert or play and learn more about the ending of the story that began with Christmas. But it is an ending that is really about a new beginning.

I have posted two old favorites of mine from the 1970's. The first song is about the crucifixion of Jesus and the second which is on youtube is about what Jesus wants to do for all of us. Have a blessed Easter.

Shedding Fur

2009-04-07T22:49:00.005+08:00

Hi there,

I have been busy making a mess of my blog. I have had this same blog design and template since I started blogging over two years ago and like a squirrel shedding its winter fur, I thought it would be nice to have a new look.

You would think that Blogger would have come out with some nice eye-candy templates to supplement their original 16 but ....oh no, they have not. Don't they understand that the world is in need of constantly changing visual stimuli. Just look at all those "skin" covers they have for handphones these days. Blogger should get the hint.

Anyway, I am sure many of you out there are wizards at HTML and such. For you creating your own Blog template is probably a breeze. I however belong to a generation that still remembers a time when computers used punch cards (that was just after the age of the dinosaurs). As such I am desperately inept at all things HTML.

So instead, I spend a great deal of my weekend scouring the internet for a solution and I find a very good site called BTemplates. It has all these templates created by HTML literate show-offs who decided to throw some crumbs to the HTML-challenged. Okay, okay, I must admit I was grateful for these handouts. So thank you all you HTML geeks.

At last, I picked out a few templates which I thought would be suitable and proceeded to try to dress this blog in new clothes, so to speak. I thought I would be dazzling you with my new livery but instead, I ran into a host of troubles.

First one I tried had all the titles and labels in some obscure language. Next I found a nice one but I could not edit it in any way nor could I make a new post as those buttons were missing. Then I tried another but it had only a small fixed space for the titles of the post and many of my long-winded titles of the post just did not fit. My final attempt also looked very pretty but it wiped out all my widgets, blogroll and even my profile.

Hence I spent the rest of my weekend trying to recover my original template and widgets. What a waste of time it has been! I have decided that the only way that I will get a nice new snazzy blog template is for one of you kind HTML wizards to help me. Any applicants for the job?

In the meantime, here were some of my too good to be true templates. These could have been the new look for the Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel....instead of this current coat of paint. Which one would you have liked?

GREEN LIGHT

GREEN MAGIC

PARK

Penguin Surprise

2009-04-01T00:51:00.002+08:00

Regular readers may know that from time to time, I will post about some of the weird and wonderful creatures of this world. It is estimated that there could be still up to one hundred thousand species of plants and animals yet to be discovered on our amazing planet. However, some exciting discoveries are not always about new species but about unusual facts about familiar animals.

Perhaps we have been taught that penguins are flightless birds. Well, forget that! Some penguins can fly, as seen in this recent BBC footage.

For me, this amazing discovery is the greatest zoological feat since the discovery of the fabled Lirpa Loof, the strange lavender eating primate from Tibet by the famous scientist, David Bellamy back in the 1980's.