There was a certain small town in Maine which had grown round an old cemetery. As it took a long time to walk round the cemetery if one wanted to go to the opposite side of town, it was not uncommon for late night revelers to take a short cut through the cemetery. Tom worked the late shift at the local coffee shop and normally finished past midnight and would cut across the cemetery to get home.
One autumn night, it was particularly dark and there was some ground fog rolling in from the sea. Tom was making his way across the cemetery but he was finding it difficult to see well in the dark and fog and he kept bumping into gravestones. He was halfway across when he suddenly fell into a deep hole. He was stunned for awhile but as his eyes got accustomed to the dark, he quickly realised he had fallen into a newly dug grave.
He tried jumping and catching the edge of the grave so that he could climb out but the sides of the grave must have been at least eight feet deep and he could not jump that high. He tried doing a running jump but he still could not jump high enough. After trying for about twenty times, he got tired and sat down at the side and prepared to wait till morning when the groundskeeper would most likely find him. Before long, he dozed off.
About an hour later, he was awakened to the sound of drunken singing. It was a late night reveler taking a short cut through the cemetery. However, before Tom could call out, the man fell into the very same hole. From where he sat, he could barely see the man but he could hear the man get up and brush the dirt from his clothes while cursing under his breath. He then heard the man attempt to jump and catch the edge of the grave as he had and he also heard him fall heavily to the ground again.
After hearing the man try a few times and fail, he could tell that the man was beginning to panic. Therefore he reached out and put his hand on the man's shoulder and said " You're not getting out of here tonight."
The next thing Tom knew, the man screamed, jumped straight up in the air and was gone!
Da Squirrel is back! Sorry it has been a few days longer than the three weeks I said I would be gone for. However, the time is well spent and I feel quite refreshed and ready to rumble. And what did I do in those three weeks?
The official story is that I went off to a monastery to meditate on life, the universe and everything. Now enlightened, I am back to share the wisdom of the Universe as revealed to my small brain. I have only one word to sum it all…..”overload”. Well, what do you expect when all that wisdom is poured into a tiny receptacle of a brain. It could easily have been “overload and burned-out” but luckily my brain has a built in overflow where the overwhelming large number of unrelated and useless bits of information can escape harmlessly into. It’s called writing a blog.
The truth is that I accomplished quite a bit in the three weeks I was away. I did a lot of exercise, traveled to a far-a-way place (details in later posts), got a lot of intellectual and professional feeding, had quality time with the wife, achieved some major successes at work and may even have seen the end of the big bad bear problem.
Coming back to this blog after an extended absence was not easy. How does one just start up again? What should one write about? How to make it interesting? I thought I could try some of these approaches………
Sensational Approach:- Mystery of Lone Grey Squirrel’s disappearance solved! Was abducted by aliens! Discovered wandering dazed along a country road last week, he could not remember much but was reported to have said this to the police, “Elvis is alive! I have seen the King!”
Speculative Approach:- Lone Grey Squirrel disappeared just after the financial crisis hit Wall Street. Was he somehow involved? Was he behind the fall of Lehman Brothers? And is it true that he once had a secret affair with hunting supporter, Sarah Pallin?
Studious Approach:- The blog entitled “The Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel” has actually been running for just over two years now. Both the blog and the squirrel have been subjected to intense scientific study and the panel of scientific experts have all come to the same conclusion…….the squirrel is nuts.
Expose Approach:- Reporters on the trail of the missing Lone Grey Squirrel have made an important discovery …….the squirrel is actually a middle aged man with a slight beer belly!
Medical Approach:- Friends of the Lone Grey Squirrel have released a statement that the squirrel was just suffering from “exhaustion” and was admitted to the Betty Ford Clinic for housetrained Celebrity Animals. He checked himself in and is expected to be out soon. Insiders claim that he is actually a recovering nut-a-holic.
Religious Approach:- The Lone Grey Squirrel was away meditating at the Ashram of the Great Guru Maharichie Rich and have come to realise that after selling all his worldly belongings and giving it to the Guru has not made him a happier squirrel. He noticed though that the Guru is so happy, he was seen laughing on the way to the bank. Squirrel is now accepting donations for a new laptop for blogging.
In the end though, I thought I’d go with the intimate approach. Friends, I needed the down time but now I am back and refreshed and looking forward to our interactions once again. Thanks for checking in on me and my humble blog!