Nuts Even Squirrels Can't Love

on Tuesday, May 19, 2009


I just love this photo which I found floating about in the internet (sorry, don't know who to credit). It reminds me ever so much of a Jasper Carrot comedy sketch entitled "Nutter on the Bus". To hear the sketch, click on the title in the previous sentence.

For you lazy so and so's, I have also included part of the script below which I have to thank Gavin Corder for as I lifted it off his blog ;

When the nutter gets on the bus, why does the nutter always sit next to me?

I was on the bus the other day and I could hear this nutter getting on behind me. I can tell he's a nutter because he's calling out...

'Eeek! Has anyone seen my camel!!?'

And everyone on the bus is praying quietly ‘Please God don’t let the nutter sit next to me. I’ll do anything you want but please don’t let the nutter sit next to me’

Nutters love showing you things, "I've got an atom bomb in here!"

And he shows me a corned beef tin ...

Well once you've got the nutter everyone else can enjoy it...


Anyway, back to the photo. That green thing could be the Swamp-Thing or even cousin Thing from the Munsters but most likely it is just a Nutter on the Subway and I have to tell you that this is one nutter that even this squirrel won't want to collect.

I love the look on the face of the woman sitting next to him. Looks like she is thinking of something appropriate to say, doesn't it? The man in the background however, doesn't care. He's just glad the nutter did not sit next to him.

I was wondering what the Nutter might say to the woman. Or what the woman might say to the Nutter. Any suggestions? Be creative but please keep it PG-13. Look forward to seeing the products of your wicked imagination.

25 comments:

cabcree said...

that picture is funny! I don't know what I'd do if some guy looking like a blob of moss sat next to me. ha, ha.

Sally's World said...

i love this, imagine how it would liven up a train journey if someone came on like this!

Margaret Pangert said...

The woman would say, "Who does your hair, if I may ask?"

Joyce's Ramblings said...

Who told you that you would be happier as a Ghia Pet? I'm sure it wasn't your Mother.

Owen said...

This is a stumper... and I may be stretching it here, but I think the grassy man said to the nice young lady something to the effect of (because he really is a demented nutter) :

"Hellowww there sweetheart... if you really were the silly cow you seem to be, how would you like to take me home and graze on me ?"

Now how is that for a cheesy pick up line ? And moldy cheese at that... Well, I'm sure alot of women have heard far worse than that from more normal looking men ? Why is it that the nutters on the bus or train or subway always seem to be men with one thing on their minds ??? No squirrel would ever stoop to being so crude, even if nutty at heart.

Lorac said...

The woman: "Yes, yes I see the difference it is greener! What fertilizer did you say?"

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

cabcree,
Not a situation that our education system ever prepares us for.

Sally,
That's a idea. Perhaps they should pay people to dress like that. Kind of like living works of art to entertain train travelers.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Margaret,
Thanks for coming by and playing. Does she want to know who does the hair so as to know who to avoid? Or does she think this will be this years Spring fashion fad?

Joyce,
Ah, happiness is a state of mind and Chia Pets have tiny minds. Perhaps that is the secret to happiness.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Owen,
A pick-up line? Haha. That could be really funny if someone actually tried it dressed like that. Although, he would probably have more chance getting mulched than scoring a date!

lorac,
Very clever. The "Grass is always greener on the other seat" ploy.

the walking man said...

Is this the situation where the phrase..."you ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower" came about?

the watercats said...

The poor fella!... he must be tired of being so mossunderstood.. hahaha!.. Hope you don't mind me bursting in here, I found your drey an interesting little thing! cheers!

XUP said...

I think they're discussing hair colour and the woman is contemplating going green as well

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Mark,
The guy does look a little down in the dumps. Perhaps he has already been mowed.

watercats,
Greetings. Thanks for coming by and leaving comments. Also thank you for the kind words. Hope to see you around here.

xup,
Well, scientifically, green is the light wavelength that does the least damage to the eyes. Non-scientifically, it means that it should be pleasing to the eye. Although not always pleasing to the stomach as in "Green Eggs and Ham".

Dr.John said...

" Excuse me are you one of Dr. Feingold's experiments?"

Owen said...

Your Most Squirrely Highness,
I see the Watercats have left their dripping feline footprints here... in view of the very short video they posted over at their place today, if you haven't seen it yet, I would highly recommend you scamper over there as fast as your furry little paws can propel you, to see this illuminating insight into the fur of sloths... and now I have no further doubt about what the creature on your bus is... it's obviously a Sloth...

mago said...

HAve to look at this picture again and again. But am unable to comment. First I thought it's a relative of Dede the Indonesian tree-man ...

heartinsanfrancisco said...

"Has anyone ever told you how much you look like bird's nest soup?"

My main concern is how bad he smells. Probably, very.

Marja said...

Ha ha Are you nuts I wouldn't talk to that thing is it even a person?
Oh in Holland a squirrel lived in my mothers garden Very cute I did talk to him

Janice Thomson said...

Maybe she's asking where she can find an outfit like that too - for Halloween...

Jocelyn said...

She looks like she wants to remind him that he should rinse the conditioner out before exiting the shower.

I actually love how half-kindly she's looking at him.

Chi Leong said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chi Leong said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Dr. John,
Very clever! In this case the conclusion must be too much greens in the diet.

Owen,
Why, yes! He could be a sloth. Sloths move so slowly and mould and lichen actually grow on their matted fur.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Mago,
Another clever answer. The Indonesian Tree man appears more like the roots and branches of the tree. This one is more on the leaves and green parts but they could be related!

Hearts,
"bird's neat soup" = mouth, "smell" = nose. clever of you to include more senses than just sight.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Marja,
Please don't judge a thing by its green cover. Haha. Perhaps there is a heart of a sensitive guy under all that grass.

Janice,
I think it is more of a Springtime costume than a halloween costume.

Jocelyn,
Would that be an anti dandruff and anti weed conditioner?

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