The Haircut: the estacy and the agony.

on Friday, March 16, 2007

I went to get a haircut yesterday. It was the first time after almost three months, a fact that was not lost on my hair stylist. “How long have you been away from the barber’s chair?” he asked sarcastically. “Exploring the Amazon the last six months, were you?”

Anyway, I don’t care. Even if I wasn’t in the Amazon, I have been busy and there is no harm in saving some haircut money. Besides, I look good with long hair. Okay, okay, the truth is that I procrastinate. It’s as simple as that but those excuses could be true. The thing that really embarrasses me though is that I was in one of those “Unisex Salons”.

Some of you may think that I am making a mountain out of a molehill (or more appropriately, a wig out of a hairball) but for most of my life I stayed clear of Unisex Salons. One reason for that was an irrational desire to support another male bastion that was under threat…..the barbershop. When I was growing up as a child in Malaysia, it was normal to go to the local barbershop. For some reason, the vast majority are run by Indians. These Indian barbershops were characterised by fancy glass bottles filled with all kinds of cheap colognes, reclining barber chairs and piles of old magazines and comics. Many patrons would ask for a hair style similar to their favorite movie stars like Elvis Presley’s but invariably the most common hairstyle executed was the coconut cut, which basically resembles having half a coconut shell placed on top of the head and cutting whatever hair that was not protected by the shell.

The second and main reason for steering clear of the Unisex Salons was all the pampering that was going on. I was never comfortable with the thought of being pampered to the extent of having someone pedicure my feet or wash my hair. I could not reconcile that belief with the thought of some one having to wash my hair. I thought it must be demeaning…….imagine spending the day washing about twenty strangers hair; sticking your fingers into hair of every conceivable condition from the clean and well kempt to the dirty and smelly. I decided to hold the moral high ground that if I was uncomfortable doing it, I should not expect others to do it for me. Besides, it costs almost five times as much as the old barber shop cut and shave.

That was a long time ago. I have been going to these unisex salons now for over 10 years having been challenged by my wife to try them. The truth is, I still am a little embarrassed by the pampering but I do so enjoy it. Some of these shampoo girls (and occasionally men) have wonderfully strong hands and the feel of their powerful fingers massaging your scalp is really quite exquisitely decadent. It helps me relax and de-stress so effectively. In fact, I am so relaxed that later when the stylist is cutting my hair, I tend to nod off to sleep. Initially, I would get a discreet nudge to get me to wake up but lately the stylist has given up and accepted that I will always be the difficult customer that stays away for months and the present a challenging nodding, flopping and snoring head for the haircut.

Nowadays, I can fall asleep after the relaxing scalp therapy and wake up refreshed from an uninterrupted nap to find my haircut nicely done. I can only guess what mad pranks and odd photographs taken with those camera cell-phones were carried out while I was in the land of Nod.

And so, once every blue moon, I go through this ritual of embarrassment and shame cause I feel so good after. Am I a sick puppy? Do I need help? Sometimes I wonder but then I think of a wonderful scalp massage and all doubts are forgotten.



86 comments:

Proxima said...

I like my squirrels on the slightly "scruffy" side myself :)

-P

Josie said...

LGS, I rather like longer hair on men too. You probably looked very nice!

I LOVE having my scalp massaged, and that is the main reason I go to a hairdresser. I can usually cut my hair better than a hair salon.

BTW, I loved the song you left on Geewit's blog. Too, too funny!

Cheers,
Josie

mago said...

There is a french film about a man who fells in love and marries a friseuse, forgot title and actors, sorry. When I remember it right the last picture is him getting his scalp massaged and felling asleep. She wears a pullover.

Open Grove Claudia said...

I think you might look into getting your own clippers. It's quite popular here for men to have very close cut/shaven hair which they maintain themselves.

If I went 3 months without a haircut, I'd be stumbling on it.... My hair grows fast!

adelym said...

Got photo on yr lastest style? yeah you actually pay for the pampering. No it is not a crime to be pampared in a salon. Well at least you get to relax after working hard. Do you really get yr pedicure down. Coool uncle... I don't mix my manicure and pedicure with my hair styling. I go separate cos the manicure salons specialise in it and they have pretty paints and designs.

geewits said...

Except for my neck against the sink part, I LOVE having my hair washed. It's funny that you call a "bowl cut" a "coconut cut." Do you guys use coconuts for bowls?

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

proxima,
Scruffy? I can manage scruffy.:)

josie,
long time ago when I was in Canada, my hair was actually shoulder length and I was mistaken to be a tribe brother by one of the First Peoples. I'm actually quite proud of that. Thanks for commenting on the song. Sometimes I wonder if my sense of humor is too obtuse or quirky.

mago,
Sounds like a nice film. Although I enjoy the scalp massage, there's no danger of falling in love. Nope. For me it is still "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach".

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

claudia,
Believe me, I should not be allowed any where near clippers. Having said that, can I cut your hair for practice?

Adelym,
No, I've never had a pedicure for the same reasons. I feel awkward being pampered like that. Anyway, I do it myself.....not a pretty sight.

geewits,
Of course we have bowls but in my younger days, coconuts were cheap and abundant and were often used for many purposes including as small bowls. Nowadays, the same coconut bowls are polished and sold at fashionable stores for a bomb. Just for your info, in Asia, the coconut palm is often refered to as the tree of life cause every part of the tree has a use. I think I'll post on this soon.

etain_lavena said...

whahahahahaha......that is funny Squirrel, my best friend is a hair stylist we would have pranked you so, if you where her client, yes we are naughty shit's...hihih hey if you enjoy it..its kewl.
I personally don't like them washing my hair...i get the heebee geebeez, so my friend knows she asks only the one apprentice to wash my hair....hhihihihi...fun post:)

Janice Thomson said...

How funny LGS!...your writing abilities are many.
I dislike salons as well since I have thick long hair that everyone wants to touch and mess about with (they even asked one time if they could cut and sell as a wig - ack!) but my scissors are dull so on rare occasions I visit one. One time I had a severe headache and the hairdresser spent extra time massaging the head. By the time I left it was gone and being extremely thankful I left a huge tip.
My mother used to give coconut cuts too - LOL

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

etain,
I was involved in a prank once where this girl offered to give this guy a free haircut. When he doze off, she cut only half the hair on the head. Since he had a sort of Afro hairstyle it looked very funny with one half taller than the other. I will definately stay awake if my stylist was a spirited SAfrican with a wicked sense of humor. :)

janice,
yes. yes. Exactly what I mean. Those massages are almost a health treatment, aren't they. As to your mom giving out coconut cuts, surely not for her daughter! I thought only the guys get it cause we ain't fussy.

squirrel said...

Oh yes and you MUST try the pedicure it is DIVINE!!!

adelym said...

hahha..maybe i can offer my pedicure and manicure serve. cheap only a nice dinner will do

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

squirrel & adelym,
It is too decadent. I cannot do it. It is bad for my scruffy squirrel image.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I have been terrified of haircuts since the incident in my late teens when a famous NYC hairstylist, who had been instructed to cut my waist-length locks to just below the shoulders, held up a handful of my hair, said, "You have gorgeous hair," then whacked off a huge chunk from the top with a straight razor.

I said, "I don't want it that short," to which he responded, 'It's not how short it is, baby. It's how beautiful." Within 4 or 5 strokes of his machete, my long, healthy, untreated hair (they call it "virgin") was lying on the floor, and I looked like a little boy in drag.

I used to cut my toddler son's hair while he slept after some really bad, Sampson-like experiences with barbers. There are surely some photos circulating the world of you sleeping, perchance drooling, in the hair chair.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Hearts,
That sounds like an awful experience. I think we have been bamboozled by the hairdresing product manufacturers. I think "virgin" hair is by far the healthiest.

If you do come across photos of clients asleep on the hairdressing chair, let me know.

CSL said...

Is it just me or does everyone seem to be blogging about haircuts lately. I broke a 10+ year hair salon strike and went last month. I am not sure it will ever be something I am completely comfortable with, but unlike with straight long hair, I can't cut mine on my own now.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

csl,
I'm also not fully comfortable about it but I've given in to the dark side. I just make sure my guilt is assauged by leaving a sizeable tip.

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I like my squirrels on the slightly "scruffy" side myself :)
Thanks for post..

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