Remembering Depression

on Wednesday, March 21, 2007

This is my fourth poetry posting. In my 100th post, I shared that I had suffered depression for more than a year. This was when I was a University student and when I first came out to work. I will share more about this at some later time.

Some of the bloggers that I read have been going through a very difficult times and some are in the grips of depression. I just want to say that I made it through with supportive friends and God's grace and I know that they can make it through too. I also wanted very much that they know that they are not alone in what they feel and experience; that others can understand and emphatise too. Therefore with the aid of a beautiful picture, I am remembering my depression (when you are depressed, you can see the darkness even in the midst of beauty). I hope this to be an encouragement.

The sky turns red and wondrous
As the sun goes to bed.
But my heart only turns anxious
Anticipating the darkness that’s ahead.

Already the day’s warmth is fading
As light gives way to gloom
In to the soul a chill is creeping
Fires of hope burn black with doom.

Soon the night will be its darkest
No stars or heavenly bodies to be seen
And in that pit of deepest blackness
One might wish that they had never been

Each long hour or day that passes
Like dark molasses pulls us down
A prison sentence that is upon us
Four dank walls, all hope is drowned

Even prayers seem to receive no answer
Cried from the heart, yet makes no sound,
No place to hide, I escape to slumber
To flee the accusing voices all around.

I have no hope for morning
My limbs are weary, my bones’ dry
For now it’s enough, each moment surviving
I am alive if I can still cry.

P.S. Dawn will come. Just hold on through the night.


Odat said...

Thank you! :-)

Becky Wolfe said...

Wow! I feel as though you read my soul when I went through my own time of darkness & depression. "Cried from the heart, yet makes no sound...I'm alive if I can still cry" was how I felt for months. But you're exactly right, supportive friends & God were my way out, and a renewed passion for life. Its hard to come out of something when you feel you have nothing to look forward to. I created that something & ran towards it with leaps & bounds on my way to rediscovering joy.

Beautiful poem my friend!

Josie said...

LGS, that picture is exquisite. You kow, when I am feeling bad, I feel comfortable "sharing" with my blogging friends. I try not to get too personal, but just generally, it's nice to know that there is a whole community of people out there who go through the same things, good and bad, that I do. Wherever we live, whatever our cultures our lifestyles, we are all the same. That's what I really love about blogging.

I'm saving the poem.


JR's Thumbprints said...

If it would only get warm outside, then I'd snap out of it.

squirrel said...

I like your poem and that picture is absolutely beautiful!

Janice Thomson said...

Wow LGS, what an emotive and evocative poem...isn't it true that out of our pain comes some of the most beautiful poetry ever written...
"Like dark molasses pull us down"...stunning imagery...and the last line is so poignant.
Love the picture.

Michael C said...

Very nice! I have been there, believe me. It's easy to say that but I have been there!

Congrats too on the 100th post! That is awesome!!!

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

Lovely poem and pictures!

geewits said...

You are very talented! That was very touching. I've never really been depressed but I think I understand it better from your poem.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Welcome :)

All of us who have been there know what it was like. For those who are going through it, they need to know that others have gone through the hopelessness and despair but have emerged back into the light so that they know there is always hope and there is always a way no matter what they may be feeling.
Thank you, my friend.

I am thrilled that you think the poem is worth saving. Good enough to chase the blues away for weeks.

I couldn't cope with your job. Few of us could. I know that's not what's getting you down but I'm just saying that you have the toughness and the character to get over these small bumps. Of course, warm weather always helps! Peace, brother.

Thanks friend.

It's true that pain and suffering inspires great creativity of expression in a way that happiness cannot. In other words, we are great a whining!!!!! That last line, ....exactly how I felt.

If you've been there, then there is a bond we share and no need to say anything more. Glad you survived with your sense of humor or was it your sense of humor that helped you survive?

Thank you, fellow writer.

Really? If you feel that you understand depression better as a result of that poem, I am blessed cause it is beyond my expectation although not beyond my hope.

Jay said...

Really lovely; thanks for sharing.

Words can be like solace.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

That was lovely. You are so kind to share it.

When depression hits, I try to keep in mind that everything passes, and it will, too.

Cheryl said...

I loved your poem. I'm glad that things are better for you now.

Check out my new post. I think you'll like it.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Thanks for the words of encouragement. :))

thanks. May you never have to go there (depression).

Thanks. Enjoyed your post. So nice that more people can share in my embarrasement. Haha. :))

CSL said...

I hope looking back on the darkness makes today all the brighter.

patterns of ink said...

Looks delicious! BTW, you were right about the Buddhist part, but the rest was similar. =)
I'm getting caught up on my blog reading. Nice writing.
Hey, I think you would enjoy this short book by John Piper about Job. The whole thing is written in verse, but it tells the story of Job more beautifully than I've ever heard. He has recorded himself reading it and the CD comes with the book. It can be found at any Christian Bookstore or online at this address:
It's beautiful and has pictures that remind me of your selections.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I feel stronger and more able to cope with stress cause I've been to the edge of the precipice and back. Stronger in myself but also in my faith in God. However, this is your field of expertise so I do not presume to teach the sin-seh. :)

Thanks for the suggestion. I did read Job a lot but got more depressed cause Job clearly had a level of moral fibre and relationship to God that I did not have. I found encouragement in the passage about the valley of dry bones (Ezekiel, I think) cause it reminded me that God is able to restore life even to dry dead bones.

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