No Girls Allowed....

on Saturday, February 03, 2007

Photo Credit : musicman226

It is my considered opinion that guys take a long time to become mature adults. Some may even take a whole lifetime. Someone wise once opinioned, “In every girl there is a woman but in every man there is a kid.” Nowhere is this more evident than in our dealings with the opposite sex. The accomplished, respected man’s man is just waiting for the right female to come by so that he can degenerate into a lobotomized clown. (This world view is reinforced if you watch Chinese romantic comedy movies where the women are perfect and the men are love-struck idiots). One good example of lingering immaturity is the “No Girls Allowed” rule which men evoke whenever the going gets rough. What’s that? You don’t agree with my hypothesis. You want proof, you say. Well, then sit back, sip your coffee and read about ….(dramatic organ chord)….”No Girls Allowed” or “How I came to be out in the cold.”

Charlie, was a man’s man. He was an Eagle Scout in the days where Eagle Scouts still did manly things like getting lost in the forest. He was in fact, a scout amongst scouts; the only one who could actually put on weight on campfire food. He enjoyed the camaraderie and reveled in the pungent testosterone-scented aroma of unwashed male bodies that have hiked in the tropical humidity in the jungle. He was proud of the “No Girls Allowed” club.

There came a time when we all grew into gangly teens and a group of about five of us left our home country to study in the United Kingdom. Although we were all friends and I was invited to one of their homes for Christmas dinner, I was a bit of the outsider, the odd man out. This was because the others were all scouts, the four musketeers, and every time we met, they would regale all present with another of the tales that bind them so closely together in a brotherhood.

It was at the end of my first year of University in London when James, one of the fabulous four, called me on the phone. “Charlie is in a bad way. He’ll probably call you and ask you to go hiking with him in the Lake District. He really needs for you to go. Don’t turn him down. He needs this.”

It seems Charlie called James up and invited him for the trip but James had promised his girlfriend to take her shopping in Paris. Not too worried, he called Thomas but Thomas was spending that weekend with his girlfriend’s family. Charlie told Thomas that he was disappointed in him but never mind, he’ll call Simon to go and Thomas will just miss out on the fun. So Charlie called Simon but Simon told him that he would have to check with his girlfriend if she didn’t mind him going off. Charlie didn’t even wait for the answer but hung up the phone in despair.

And so, I suddenly became Charlie’s new found best buddy on account that I was free of any female entanglements and was able to accompanying him on the trip. He was so enthusiastic about us bonding together in the wilds of the Lake District. The more he enthused though I got increasingly jittery that his idea of bonding involved manly rituals like eating raw deer meat or cutting our wrists and exchanging blood in an oath of brotherhood.

It really wasn’t like that. We spent the time hiking in the beautiful Lake District and had plenty of time to talk. I am good at listening and he just needed a willing ear. I think we did in fact bond as friends. He poured out his feelings as we climbed up to one of the mountain tops. While we had lunch by a beautiful waterfall, he shared about his disappointment that these “girlfriends” have weakened the close bonds of the musketeers. We discussed the sanctity of friendship and the value of true friends as we headed down the scree slopes. We also talked of other things too such as our studies, our plans and our hopes for the future.

Eventually, we made it down and sat on rocks and twiddled our toes in the icy waters of the lake or mere. It was there that we made a pact; though thankfully it did not involve blood exchanges. It was a pact to make this trip again next year and for at least one more year, we would keep females out of our lives and interfering with this most valued of friendships. No females. No dating. No girlfriends that we had to consult before going out with the guys. No girlfriends, period, for one more year. It was Charlie’s idea but I was feeling flushed by this important place I was taking in Charlie’s life of best buds and since I had no romantic liens at that time, I happily agreed.

Tomorrow, I will continue to explain “How I came to be out in the cold”. For now, I am basking in the warmth of the memory so far.

Photo credit:


Becky Wolfe said...

Interesting post - seems like a nice memory - looking forward to part two. "lobotomized clown" yeah, I've seen a few of those. ha ha!

I think even females need that sort of 'same sex' bonding experience now & then too. Though most girls aren't as adventurous & would rather have a sappy movie night (I'm not like most girls and would rather be out in the wilderness)There is a definite form of bonding that comes from overcoming stuff and accomplishing something to make those involved proud (like being in the wilderness, climbing a mountain, etc)

Josie said...

LGS, I am looking forward to part two. You know, I much prefer the company of men to the company of women. I have close friends, but I can only take them in small doses.

Gorgeous photo. My mother lived in the Lake District for a while, and she loved it.


Top cat said...

Very funny but so true.
I'm reminded of the song Men Men Men in Mel Brooks' movie Robin&his merry band of men.
Perhaps this is why every Sunday, men will get together on the football field, bang heads and knock each other down.
The bonding of men, no girls allowed.

Women entering men's lives do interfere with the male bonding thing but this may be a good thing.
Perhaps if there was more of this, there would be fewer wars.

Thank you for stopping by my blog and for your kind comments.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I think women bond more easily with each other due to an inherent readiness to share thoughts and feelings. For men, on the other hand, its the rituals, the symbolism of bonding that is important. Men can be in clubs, fraternities, secret societies etc. but still not know each other well.

Fully agree about bonding from a joint achievement. That could be conquoring a mountain, surviving white water or even being in the choir.

Very interesting, your comment. Wish we could delve into that more. Where did your mother live in the Lake District & have you been there? I used to work during my holidays at Meadowcroft near Windermere.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Top Cat,
Thanks for coming by and leaving comments. Enjoy your sense of humor that is evident on your blog. I agree with you that women are a good influence on men but that's exactly what some men fear - being influenced for the better!

HeiressChild said...

ok, now i'm on my way to read part two. i can understand about the male bonding thing though. i always love my man (when i have one), but there's nothing like my girl friends. even if we don't see each other often, there's still that "girl" bonding thing.

Molly said...

Came here by way of daysgoby....Loved reading of your adventures in the Lake District. Your clips of Georgie boy are hilarious. Comedy Central would be a better fit for him than the oval office...

Molly said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lone Grey Squirrel said...

see you in part 2.

Thanks for dropping in from daysgoby. Don't be a stranger now.

Dave said...

“In every girl there is a woman but in every man there is a kid.”... That is so very true ... And yet, there are also a lot of exceptions to the rule... example #1...My friend... She will always be young at heart!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Please to "meet" your friend. May be we'll make an exception then and allow her in. Haha.

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