I Get No Respect

on Saturday, December 16, 2006

“I get no respect.” That used to be a catch-phrase for the late comedian Rodney Dangerfield. I know what he means. At least, Rodney had the advantage of an exciting name such as Dangerfield! I regret my given name is no help at all.

My Chinese name carries the meaning of “kind and gentle” or in other words a roll-over. I mean in today’s cut-throat world, one should have a strong name like “brave warrior”. No, even better, “Braveheart”. Yeah! Chinese names can carry slightly different meanings based on dialect and the phonetics. I have heard an alternative interpretation of my name to mean “cool celestial cloud”. If I had run off and joined a hippie commune as I had planned when I was younger, I could be cool with that meaning as it sounds vaguely free spirited and new age. Since I did not do so, that meaning still lags behind “Braveheart”.

When I studied in England, I found people could not get their tongues round my “cool” name which was not so cool. This time I cannot blame my parents cause I chose an Anglicized name myself. I chose the name because mainly, I wanted to be different and no one else I knew had that name. Since then I learned why that name is seldom chosen. Extensive research has brought me to the inescapable conclusion that my chosen name means only one thing, “bald”. I just hope that it's not prophetic.

In Canada, I met up with a first people’s artist by the name of Shingosi. He mistook me as a native brother, probably because I have that down-trodden look. Anyway, after that misunderstanding cleared up, he invited me to his clan's pow-wow and said he would give me an Indian name. I never made it to the pow-wow and missed this wonderful opportunity but I’d like to believe my Algonquin name might be like “Wolf Spirit”. Yeah!

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to seek the combined wisdom of the great Google community as to what might be my other names. If you would like to do the same then follow the links below.

My Squirrel Name is Deputy Nuttykins.
Deputy? I didn't even make sheriff and what kind of family name is Nuttykins. It imples that all my relatives are nut-cases too. Hmm. Not a good start to this new name adventure.

My Native American Name is Grant's Shadowy Pencil.
What?!?! Oh, mannnn! This is awful. Instead of some great warrior name, this name, I don't know, perhaps it alludes to the untrustworthiness of General Grant's treaties with the native peoples. But aw, man! "Shadowy Pencil"? that's not even a pen or a peace pipe. Creator of Indian Name Generator speaks with forked tongue and twisted mind. Beware! I am sending telephatic tomahawks at you.

My Hobbit Name is Samwise Hornblower of Waymoot.
"Samwise"! Hurray! At last a hero's name. Wait a minute. That was Samwise Gamgee! I don't remember any Hornblowers from where? ....Waymoot?

My Elvish Name is Tuor of Nargothrond.
Okay, I can live with that but mainly cause I have no idea what it means. With my luck, Tuor probably means "bald". Can you imagine a bald elf?

My Vampire Name is Consort of Crows.
Apparently, I was known as Sultan of Angels until I was cast out of heaven for being a vampire. What a demotion! From Sultan of Angels to Consort of Crows. That is a bad career move if ever I saw one. I thought all vampires would have cool and powerful names like "Fangs" or "Count Devilishly Charming". I don't think the few friends I have appreciate being refered to as crows either.

My Pirate Name isSharkbait” Doug Grimm.
Give me a break!!! "Sharkbait"?!?! What kind of name is that for a pirate? I'd even settle for a coloured beard like Bluebeard or Silverbeard.

My Name if I were the Pope is
Pope Envious Donald IV.
I really can't get any respect. I get to be the Pope but I apparently am not Pious or Innocent but Envious. So true. I'd be envious of everybody else's nice names.

My Star Wars Jedi Name is Lohch Hakua of the planet Glucophage.
I will settle for small mercies. Planet Glucophage sounds nice. After the other surprises above, I am just glad it isn't Glob Offat from the planet Norespect.

My Fairie Name is Thorn Hailtree, protector of the lonely.
Oh great. When I am trying to be macho, I get wussie names but now that I'm trying to get a fairy name, I get Thorn Hailtree. Sounds butch. I thought fairies should have names like Tinkerbell, Sugerplum or Dewdrop. I'll bet you that I am all alone protecting the lonely too. It's probably one of the least popular fairy jobs to have.

Finally in desperation, I decided to find out what ....
My Porn Name is Orson Swift (if I am a pimp) and Ginger Wide (If I was the star).
I'm not sure but I think I would also get no respect from other pimps with a name like "Swift". Ginger Wide? I'm not that desperate for a new name.

At the end of this exercise, I am resigned to getting no respect and am happy to be known as the Lone Grey Squirrel. I obviosly can do a lot worse.

I'd like to acknowledge my muse Kat who got me thinking by her wonderful coverage of the naming of the panda cub at Atlanta Zoo.

15 comments:

Open Grove Claudia said...

SQUIRRELY! I thought you only lived in our City Park in Denver! So nice to see you in the blogosphere!

I like "cool celestial cloud". In Colorado a cool celestial cloud can dump 3 feet of snow. Now that's power.

Josie said...

I rather like the name "Lone Grey Squirrel". It sets you apart as a squirrel amongst squirrels; a force to be reckoned with. The renegade squirrel.

Cheers,
Josie

P.S. I haven't been able to post on any of the Beta blogs for a while, but I can again, yay.

Le Nightowl said...

This is hilarious! :)
I had to laugh at your analysis of your various names.
"Pope Envious Donald IV" is priceless!
I think your Vampire name is quite stylish.
... of course I just had to try the name-generators for myself... great fun :)))
Marie

heartinsanfrancisco said...

My, such a lot of names! Names are important.

When I was very young, my Cherokee name was Follows a Dream. When it was time for a mature person name (we try,) it was changed to Crazy Heart. ("Crazy" in the Native American sense does not mean wacko, but mystical.)

I'd love to know what name means "bald." Please share.

Stomper Girl said...

This was such a funny post. ROFL at the Planet Norespect.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Hi folks,
Glad you enjoyed the post. I had fun doing it. I'd really like to have some of you try out the name generators and share the results with the rest of us.

claudia,
Thanks for cheering me up. Yup, 3 feet of snow is some power!! Heh! Heh! I have actually been to Denver and watched the Avalanche play but wasn't me in the park. However, according to Josie's latest post, that squirrel and I are probably cousins - six times removed! Thanks again for coming by. I popped over to your site too.

Josie,
Thanks for the support. I think Lone Grey Squrrel was one of my better choices. The renegade squirrel! Yeah! That gives me an idea....................! "Deputy Nuttykins", I mean really!!! I thought "Brains" Hardnuts would be great for a guy and Acorn Curlyarse would be sweet for a lady. Whatcha think?

le nightowl,
You have chosen a nice name and your given name is also very nice. You have refused to display the chicken carcasses in your closet. Might we ask to hear the results of your own adventures amongst the name generators?

Heartinsanfrancisco,
Nice of you to drop by. I'm a little confused in that your moniker says West Coast, your picture says Kansas and the Heartland and if I am not mistaken, having a Cherokee name places you either in the Appalachians/South east or perhaps in Oklahoma. Hope you will clarify one day. Anyway, I think it is a very nice Cherokee name.

I still shake my head at"Grant's Shadowy Pencil". Oh, yes. Calvin = bald.

stomper girl,
Thanks for dropping in and leaving your footprints. I'm actually kinda new at this, so I need to ask what is ROFL and while I'm at it, what is lol which I see everywhere. Cheers.

Le Nightowl said...

Well, you may read my other names... :)

Ellie said...

Did you know glucophage is a drug for diabetics? I only know this because my doctor told me so...I'm not diabetic though.

So for your Jedi name, your from a diabetic drug. Interesting! I may do a few of these myself. I had known what my Hobbit name was, but I forget, so if I get any good ones I will let you know.

Fun post!
Ellie

Dave said...

Too much Lone Grey Squirrel! I am going to start calling my students I teach by their hobbit names!

Stomper Girl said...

ROFL = Rolling On the Floor Laughing
LOL = Laugh out loud

and as a bonus I give you

ROFLMAO = Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Arse Off (you guys would probably say Ass)

Stomper

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Marie Porcelain Firefly,
so nice!

Ellie,
yup, 'fraid I know Glucophage too well. I have metabolic disorder which is kind of pre-diabetes. I have to change my diet and lifestyle to avoid diabetes.

Dave,
I promise to return to being insightful as soon as I get any insight. Thanks for enjoying the post.

Stomper girl,
Thanks for the kind words and the lesson in blogging terms. Are u a real stomper girl (i.e. the dance form)? I am in awe.

East of Oregon said...

thanks for signing my guest map! I enjoyed reading your blog this morning.. take care:)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I didn't realize I was a mystery. I do live in San Francisco, my ruby slippers pic means only that I think life is a lot like Oz, and I was adopted into the Eastern Band of the Cherokee Nation long ago.

I am also known as Sumiko in some circles.

And thank YOU for explaining that Calvin = bald.

Anonymous said...

Shingosi here. I believe your vivid imagination was hoping that you would receive a name at a Pow Wow in our territories however, name ceremonies are not taken lightly thus I would not of made that offer to you as it is not my place to do so. It does make a good story though.
Peace Out,
Shingosi

Anonymous said...

Urteter nuytre: http://graphbosi.yourfreehosting.net

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