A Book, A Movie, A Song

Thank you all for your wonderfully diverse but helpful comments and advice to the previous post. Like in that post, the squirrel remains in a pensive and philosophical mood and the wanderings of my mind led me to this discovery.

A number of times, I have come across bloggers who do a meme on the books that they have read. They would share about the latest books they have read, favorite author etc. and very often, which have been the books that have influenced their lives most.

I have always not participated cause, when it comes to books that have influenced my life, my brain usually draws a blank. One because I am not a prolific reader, two because I am not a serious reader (i.e. I do not like to read heavy intellectual tomes) and three, my reading list is a little embarrassing.

So, as I said, I was surprised to make a discovery of what may be the book that has been most influential in my life (apart from the bible) during my recent mental wanderings. The book is "Ring of Bright Water" by Gavin Maxwell.

Well, it is actually a series of books including "The Rocks Remain" and "Raven Seek Thy Brother". For those of you who are unfamiliar about Gavin Maxwell and his books, I have posted on it before. Follow this link. It is essentially an autobiography of a journalist, author and naturalist who purchases a small piece of land in a remote part of Scotland; his own personal bit of heaven which he named Camusfeàrna. The books also detail his relationship with a whole menagerie of otters; his first love, Mijbil; his long time companion, Edal; Teko who brought fresh hope; and the next generation including Mossy and Monday.

How has this book (or series of books) been influential in my life? Well, I first read "Ring of Bright Water" when I was about 13 or 14 years of age and I think it was the first book that taught me to love animals and especially animals in the wild. My current career in nature conservation some 3 decades later stems from this love that was first planted as a seed then. That makes it a major influence indeed.

The books were also a very brutally honest record of the difficulties, both personal and financial, that Maxwell faced in trying to make his little piece of heaven work. There were also the disasters and tragedies that struck. At that young age, this was my first time reading about a very human icon. He may be author and naturalist extraordinaire but he was far from faultless and far from knowing all the right answers. He made me appreciate that heroes are humans too and the real heroes are the ones that get up after being knocked down and start re-building again.

Maxwell could probably have continued his successful career or even entered into the diplomatic service but he gave it all up for a simpler life amongst his otters and outdoor pursuits in his tiny remote corner of Scotland. My dreams have been affected by his. Success is not as the world measures but by your own sense of happiness in doing what you love. I still seek a little piece of heaven on earth even now.

As I prepared for this post, I came across the old theme song for the movie based on the book. I had actually forgotten how wonderfully poignant and inspiring these words were to my younger self. They are wonderful. The song was sung by Val Doonican and here are the lyrics, followed by the song itself.


Where sun and wind play on a ring of bright water
That's where my heartland will be
The deer on the hill in the first snow of winter
the gull in the sky winging free

I wandered away from the dark crowded city,
Leaving my old life behind,
And came to a place where a ring of bright water,
Dazzled the care from my mind.
So I live with the wonder of the sky and the sea
And I'll always remember who revealed them to me

But now you are gone with your whirlpools of laughter
Racing me down to the sea
But I always smile when a ring of bright water
Echoes your laughter to me.

(key change)

But now you are gone with your whirlpools of laughter
Racing me down to the sea
But I always smile when a ring of bright water
Echoes your laughter to me.
Echoes your laughter to me

Space Opera

No one will ever mistakenly accuse me of being high-browed and cultured. I certainly don't track with the black tie penguin suits of high society. Sadly, this extends beyond my lack of interest in participating in the extravagant social rituals of the aristocracy and my lack of money to pursue them. I genuinely do not seem to know how to enjoy or appreciate some of the things that are adored by this set. For example, I do not see the fuss made about foie gras. Please, it's liver! Apart from the debate about whether it is ethical to force feed the ducks to get the fatty liver which is made into foie gras (in humans, a fatty liver is medically a diseased liver), I never liked eating my liver and onions and hiding what it is behind a foreign (non-English) name still does not hide its intense liver taste.

Another thing that brands me solidly as a Philistine squirrel is my lack of appreciation of opera. Wikipedia says that "Opera is an art form in which singers and musicians perform a dramatic work combining text (called a libretto) and musical score. The word opera means "work" in Italian (it is the plural of Latin opus meaning "work" or "labour") suggesting that it combines the arts of solo and choral singing, declamation, acting and dancing in a staged spectacle." Hmmm. Well, that just sounds like a musical just like "West Side Story" or "Phantom of the Opera" but in a different language (just like the foie gras case).

Now, don't get me wrong. I love the modern musical. I just don't understand why people pay top dollar, get dressed to the nines and go an see a musical which tells a story in a foreign language that I can only understand from reading the souvenir program which I have to purchase separately at an extortionist rate.

It probably did not help that my early introduction to Opera was something from Wagner's Ring Cycle based on German and Norse mythology. It is of course sung in German, and as I remember it, sung by big women wearing fake blond wigs with pig-tails, armoured breasts (like Madonna's) and horned helmets. Even one of its more famous songs, "The Ride of the Valkyries", made no sense to me in German. It only became a song that I could really appreciate when it was used in a media that I could appreciate; and that was as the song "Kill the Wabbit" sung by Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny. Now who said Saturday morning cartoons cannot be educational!

However, if Elmer and Bugs helped me to begin to understand opera, the one performance that really opened my eyes to the true wonders and possibility of Opera was the stunning performance of the Albanian songstress, Inva Mula Tchako, who was the voice behind the character Diva Plavalaguna in the movie "The Fifth Element". In it she sings an aria from Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor (the mad scene), and “The Diva dance” song. I may still not understand the language but the way it is presented certainly helped me appreciate it. Allow me to share this song with you. For those serious Philistines like me, try to hang on till at least the 3.28 minute mark when a transformation occurs.

Monsters Wanted Bad

Remember when men were real men, women were real damsels in distress and the monsters were real scary evil monsters. Ah, the good old days. As Halloween rolls by this year, it just isn't the same anymore. It makes a decent horror fan want to shout out; "Where have all the Monsters gone?"

Monsters are meant to lurk in the dark corners of our mind or in the dark basements of our homes from where they go on a rampage of mindless maiming and killing of innocents just because that is what they do and they are good at it. However, these days, our beloved monsters have been given a makeover by the spin doctors of Madison Avenue.

Let's start with Vampires. The two top hottest TV/Movie Vampire franchises at the moment are True Blood and Twilight. In True Blood, a synthetic human blood substitute has been created which means that vampires don't have to suck on a living human anymore and so many Vampires try to mainstream and become like any other normal citizen but they face discrimination, social profiling and prejudices. It is the new civil rights movement; "Equal Rights for the Victimised Vampires." If homosexuals fought to come out of the closet, vampires now fight to come out of the coffin, so to speak. Twilight takes the idea of the harmless vampire even further by introducing the concept of "vegetarian" vampires who choose not to harm humans.
Hmmm. So far from being the scary creature of the night penned by Bram Stoker, vampires it seem are socially disadvantaged, misunderstood and deprived of their rights. Heck, they can even be "vegetarian".

Werewolves or shape shifters were always my most favorite of the evil night creatures. But again, the modern werewolf is less primal beast and more sexy man and puppy dog charms. True Blood's Sam Merlotte changes into a cute puppy dog. Twilight's Jacob is a big hit with the ladies but his wolf persona also seems very much domesticated canine rather than vicious beast.

Sam shaved (L) and unshaved (R)

Jacob's Wolf impression isn't so impressive.

And so it goes. One by one all our favorite monsters have been emasculated and given a metrosexual makeover. Below are some of the taglines that are being used to change the way we view monsters.






DRACULA :- Just a tall, very,very dark and handsome romantic stranger in the night.














Werewolves:- In every man, there is a puppy dog trying to come out.
























Frankenstein's monster:- A victim of a bad plastic surgeon. It could happen to any of you and has happened to many in L.A.

























Witches:- Girls just wanna have fun.













The Squirrel wishes they would leave our monsters alone. Let them be the monsters that scared us in our childhood. Let them be all that they can be. Let them be BAD.

(Squirrel wants to know which is your all time favorite monster. Please take the poll on the side)

Learning PR from Pigs

"One man's meat is another man's poison.", so the saying goes. However carrying on with the theme from the previous post, perhaps the saying should be "One man's delicacy is another man's bizarre food."

Why is that, I wondered. I think part of it is due to the accepted role of certain animals in our Society. In some parts of the world, they eat dog and horse meat. This isn't the case in most Western nations though and I think it is because these animals have elevated positions and roles in these societies. Dogs are just another farm animal in the East but in the West, they have been alleviated to pets, companions and for some, even one of the family. No one wants to eat their pet, companion or family member. Likewise in many parts of the world, the horse is just part of the livestock but in other parts they are elevated to racing champions and riding partners.

I am forbidden by wifely decree from eating venison under the pain of sleeping on the couch. It all started with a visit to Banff, Canada when a small herd of deer actually came up to the back of our rented lodge and shared our breakfast. My wife enjoyed hand feeding the deer. Somehow the bond was established and I am now forbidden to eat venison. If I ever suggested ordering venison at a restaurant, she will remind me that she fed those cute, big doe eyed innocent, trusting deer in Banff and that we could never betray that trust by eating venison now.

Hmmmm......and so I have been venison free for over 15 years now. This made this squirrel brain (more than just a food item) think. Perhaps, one way to dissuade people from eating squirrels is to change their perception of squirrels as vermin or forest bounty to that of cute, innocent, trusting friends.

This has been done before by my porcine friends. Remember "Charlotte's Web"? The book and movie was all about trying to save the piglet from being slaughtered. Now what sicko watches the movie, roots for the pig and then leaves the movie theater and orders a bacon burger? Hmmm, don't answer that.

Even more successful was the movie "Babe". There a cute little piglet thinks that he is a sheperd dog. Once again, we root for the cute, emotionally confused pig and once we identified with the pig, it is difficult to eat pork. Not convinced? Well, the Chinese Government was so concerned that it would brainwash its citizens and lead to a collapse of the vast pork industry that it actually banned the movie from China.

I think that the pigs were on to a good idea. So it wasn't long that the National Union of Tasty Squirrels (NUTS) embarked on a public relations campaign for squirrels by sponsoring a number of movies. Here are some examples which the intended PR message.

Scrat from "Ice Age": The lovable persistent and funny underdog.

From "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian":- The heroic and noble, defender of all that is righteous and just and good.


From "Squirrel with a Pearl Earring":- the romantic, sensitive and artistic squirrel.

What do you think? Do you feel this will work and get people to stop eating squirrels? If it doesn't work, I am afraid that the only other option is to bomb the Appalachians.

Five by Five

Five by Five is the phrase that Faith (the rival slayer from the series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) uses to indicate that everything is okay. I thought it would make a good title for this meme from Jelica and Ruslan over at Budapest Bits, my new friends and favorite blog from the Balkans and Central Europe. This is because the meme requires 5 answers under 5 topics.

It has been awhile since I did a meme. For some of the older readers, some of my answers will already be familiar but I hope this will be of interest to some of my new friends here. It also falls on me to prod 5 others to take up this meme. Please don't feel obliged or pressured but it would be nice to know a bit more about you. I dub the famous Five to be;
1. Lorac at Ahhh...the Cottage Life.
2. thisrainykitten at my blog.
3. Sally at Sally's World.
4. eastcoastdweller at In Search of Isis.
5. Cabcree at Cabcree.

FIVE FAVORITE SONGS:
1. I Can’t Make You Love Me (Bonnie Raitt, 1991)

Just think this is a great song. Soul wrenching music and lyrics.

2. And So It Goes (Billy Joel, 1989)

I proposed to my wife by singing this song, so it is very precious.

3. Alone Again Naturally (Gilbert O'Sullivan, 1972)

An early melancholic favorite.

4. Anything But Ordinary (Avril Lavigne, 2002)

My current theme song. Great lyrics and outlook to life.

5. Scarborough Fair/Canticle (Traditional Arr.; Simon and Garfunkel, 1966)

Great traditional song and wonderful anti-war anthem.

FIVE FAVORITE FILMS:

1. Running on Empty (1988)

This movie is about family, love and sacrifice. Always makes me cry.

2. Blade Runner (1982)

Probably the best Science fiction movie ever. Shows a dark side to the progress of

science.

3. Before Sunrise (1995)

A simple story of a chance encounter on a train but I think one of the most

romantic stories ever.

4. Thunderheart (1992)

A spiritual journey and a story of injustice against native peoples.

5. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

Another movie that makes me cry. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks make a great

romantic comedy combination.

FIVE FAVORITE BOOKS:

1. Ring of Bright Water (Gavin Maxwell, 1960)
This book taught me to love animals
2. Watership Down ( Richard Adams ,1972)
This book also taught me love animals but also to question human systems of governance and beliefs.
3. All Creatures Great and Small (James Herriot, 1972)
This book also taught me to love animals and gave me a better sense of life's hopes, dreams, ups and downs.
4. Rendezvous with Rama (Arthur C. Clarke, 1972)
I love the premise of this story. Very humbling.
5. The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever ( Stephen R. Donaldson,
1977-1979)
A great fantasy story played out against the lack of faith of the hero.

FIVE FAVORITE CRUSHES:

1. Susan Hampshire
(British actress with large cleavage – what do you expect, this was my adolescence crush.)
2. Sophia Loren
(Italian Screen Sex Goddess – a bit older now but still controlled by raging hormones. I
like my women meaty and curvy)
3. Natalie Wood
(American Actress – beginning to see women as people. Natalie remains one of my
favorites. She is strong, yet vulnerable. And is she ever so pretty).
4. Gong Li
(Chinese Actress – Even stronger, yet vulnerable. The Asian version of Natalie Wood).
5. Isabella Rossellini
(Italian Actress, daughter of Ingrid Bergman who almost made this list too. What can I say. She’s stunning at 55 years old. Graceful beauty and aging well).

FIVE FAVORITE RANDOM THINGS:
1. Walking in the rain.
2. Swimming in a jungle stream.
3. Spending time with my wife.
4. Dinner with friends.
5. Laughter of Children.

The Nutter and the Hag

This post is entitled "The Nutter and the Hag" but it could also have been called "the Humor and the Horror". Essentially, it is an up-date of two posts which i did earlier this month.

THE HAG
In the post "Read Before Sunset", I commented on the horror movie genre and the recent ascendancy of Asian horror movies and the relative dearth of really scary movies of late from Hollywood. However, I stand corrected. I just watched Sam Raimi's new movie and return to the horror genre in the form of "Drag Me to Hell". The plot was not the best but shall we say that it was sufficient of a platform to allow Mr. Raimi to showcase his directorial skills at filming an extremely creepy and scary movie.

It contains at least three of the five horror techniques which I described in the last post. It had levitation (which was very well done), it did a variation of the image in the back view mirror of the car and it had the old hag (see below).

Scary? And she's just an old woman......we aren't even talking about the evil spirits yet! I am a horror movie buff so it takes quite a lot to actually make me want to cover my eyes during certain times during the movie. In fact, half way through the movie, I felt I had already received more than my ticket's worth of scares.

I think "The Exorcist" is still safely installed as the top honcho of horror movies but "Drag Me to Hell" is surely to become a horror classic with perhaps a placing in the top 5.

Want to see a horror classic in the making? Then go see this movie but be warned, it is not for the faint of heart nor for those already suffering insomnia. The Squirrel has spoken!


THE NUTTER
In the post "Nuts even Squirrels Can't Love", I posted a picture of a "Swamp-Thing"-type nutter sitting on the subway next to a clearly bemused woman. I then invited blog readers to make fun of the picture by suggesting the possible dialogue between the "Thing" and the woman.

The squirrel has only one thing to say to all of you who participated.........."FLEE!" "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!"

The Thing has relatives and they were not amused!

Read before Sunset

I love horror stories. For some perverse reason, I like to be so scared that I pee in my pants. Coupled with my preference for spicy, hot, tongue scalding chili encrusted meals, that should be enough to label me as a masochist. Anyway, I started on this post late last night but was scaring myself so much I decided it would be better to stop and only continue during daylight hours if only to evade getting nightmares when I slept.

Anyway as I was saying, I love horror stories. It doesn't even have to be a particularly good story. For example, the campy King of B-Grade Horror movies, "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" is so bad that it is good. You know what I mean?

However, as much as I like monster movies, I really, really like supernatural stories. When I was 12 years old, my 26 year old brother was supposed to take his girlfriend to watch the special midnight movie but for some reason, they had a tiff. I benefited from the rebound when he offered to sneak me in to see the movie which had an 18 only rating. I was thrilled. The movie was "The Exorcist" which in retrospect gives a clue to the subject of their lover's tiff. Not unexpectedly, I was severely traumatised by the movie and could not sleep for weeks as I awaited an arm to come out of the wall to grab me.

Although Hollywood has come out with many outstanding supernatural horror stories, in recent years the far more scary movies have come forth from the imagination of Asian directors such as "The Ring", "The Grudge", and "One Missed Call".

Below are some of the horror concepts that work well at getting my goosebumps up.

1. Shining eyes. Eyes that glow in the dark. Imagine looking around in the dark. Everything looks normal. Suddenly you do a double take and you notice two dots of glowing red in a dark corner or at the window looking in. Scary! This effect was used in "Amityville Horror" when two glowing eyes appear in the window.
2. Mirrors. Often a hint or glimpse of some horror in a mirror or shining surface is far more effective than showing the whole horror. This is probably because when you get to see the whole thing, it looks too much like a guy with makeup on. I used to have to drive along a jungle road at night. All around was dark except for my headlights. Occasionally, out of habit, I would look into the rear-view mirror. Fortunately all I saw was darkness. Can you imagine how I would freak out if something suddenly appeared out of the darkness in my mirror? The urban legend of Bloody Mary uses the concept of the mirror leading into the spirit world.
3. Images on Photos. Sometimes the horror is scene as blurry images on photos or as images on the negatives. This has an interesting horror factor when the story protagonist and the audience are suddenly aware that the entity had been along side them all the while. In one very scary Thai movie, the hero realises that he has been capturing images of a ghost when he takes pictures of his friends. He figures this out when his friends all die ghastly deaths. Now trying to protect himself, he uses a polaroid camera to try to see the ghost approaching him. He takes photo after photo but despite no image of a ghost, he still senses its presence. Finally he realises something and he points the camera on himself and when the photo comes out, he sees the ghost sitting piggy-back on his shoulder and smiling into the camera. Creepy!
4. Evil Clown. Take something that kids trust like a clown or a teddy bear and make it evil. Probably because it affects our childhood security blankets, this can be a very effective vehicle for representing horror. The clown, well, clowns around but when he smiles his broad smile, why are his teeth shaped like needles. This concept was famously done in Stephen King's "It".
   
5. The Old Hag. One of the scariest effect for me is the Old Hag. This is when someone sleeps and has a nightmare but it doesn't end when he/she awakes. Instead, he wakes, he cannot move, he feels a weight on his chest making it hard to breathe and as the fog of sleep fades, to reveal the old hag's ugly face just inches from his. The Old Hag is an idea that evolved from the idea of witches and/or the incubus/succubus. I think this is scary because we feel vulnerable when we sleep and we are afraid to wake up to such horrors. I know it isn't quite the same but I once went to sleep in a jungle camp and woke up to a dead giant praying mantis right next to my face. I gave a little shreek. If it was an Old Hag, I would have jumped out of my skin. Speaking of skin, Ol' Skinner has an Old Hag experience in the X-Files. In an interesting twist, although the X-Files' Old Hag was darn scary, she turns out to be a benevolent protector.
6. Levitation. Levitation is a very good horror vehicle if used subtly. It's most effective when you do not realise that there is any levitation to start with at the beginning. When you finally realise it, the horror seems to just roll over you. This was in the closing scene of "The Blair Witch Project" when the last survivor thinks she sees a friend and only realises a little late that his feet does not touch the ground.
   

What Horror concepts works for you?

Phasers on Kill

I am a big fan of Star Trek, especially the original series with James Tiberius Kirk, Spock and the rest of the first USS Enterprise crew. In honor of the new movie representing this time period and story line, I thought it would be fun to see which Star Trek character would I be as according to this deviously designed personality quiz.

Readers would have probably noticed from my recent posts that I was going through one of periodic funks when I despair for the human race. I thought that doing this quiz would be a pick-me-up but I was wrong as I turned out to be..........expendable.


Your results:
You are An Expendable Character (Redshirt)

An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 80% Spock 77% Deanna Troi 75% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 65% Geordi LaForge 60% Uhura 50% Beverly Crusher 50% Jean-Luc Picard 45% Will Riker 45% Data 37% James T. Kirk (Captain) 35% Chekov 35% Mr. Scott 30% Mr. Sulu 30% Worf 30%

Since your accomplishments are seldom noticed, and you are rarely thought of, you are expendable. That doesn't mean your job isn't important but if you were in Star Trek you would be killed off in the first episode you appeared in.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

In hindsight, I should have not been surprised at my rather poor result on this quiz. In fact I have never done well in these internet character quizzes or name generators as you can see here.

May Madness

First, a warning. This is the type of post in which the beginning and the end has very little relation to each other except via the convoluted connections made in my unkempt mind.

So to start the post, I had hoped to give due recognition to May 1st which is an internationally recognised holiday which may be called the International Worker's Day or Labour Day. I have to qualify this statement. Most countries in the world celebrate Labour Day on May 1st with a few notable exceptions which include the USA (September 5th) and Canada (first Monday in September). Labour Day was meant to commemorate victories and achievements in the fight for workers' rights and in particular the adoption of an 8 hour working day.

For most of the world, May 1st was chosen to remember the Haymarket Massacre in Chicago in 1886 during which police fired upon workers taking part in a general strike in support of the 8 hour working day. The USA, on the other hand, wanted to distance itself from remembering that incident and also from the strong support of May 1st by Socialist and Communist groups and chose September 5th instead which commemorated a working man's parade in New York by the Knights of Labour in 1882. Canada's Labour Day in turn commemorates a different struggle, this time by the printers in Toronto in 1872 but also for a shorter work hours.

This is perhaps a rather long-winded way to say that I am on holiday today. It made me think though that so many of us take for granted the Labour Day holidays and think of it merely as an opportunity for a long weekend. In doing so, we are also taking for granted the basic workers' rights that most of us currently enjoy and do a disservice to the memory of those who fought for these rights and who, in some cases, paid with their lives for it.

Those of us with jobs should be even more grateful as the world reels under the current economic crisis, for many will be losing their jobs and facing great difficulties. Some will come to the edge of the precipice. Some may go off the edge. We cannot tell how much damage and human suffering will result from this crisis which many are saying is as bad as and perhaps worse than the Great Depression. I read with sadness, stories of men killing their whole family before killing themselves. Recently at Jay's blog, we read of someone jumping to his death. While I do not know why he jumped, many others have jumped due to the pain brought on by financial despair.

While in no way do I condone these actions, I can understand to a degree, why these people have resorted to these actions. They have lost hope. The tragedy is that they cannot see the hope that may be just round the corner. All of us must be responsible to share each other's burdens and to hold out hope to those immersed in hopelessness.

The Great Depression was certainly a time of great hardship and of great despair. An affluent America may perhaps have forgotten the hard lessons learnt back then but with the current economic crisis, some of those ugly days may be back again.

Here is where my brain makes a sharp turn and heads off into a new direction. For this, we have to return to a recent post in which I answered a question on which book, art piece, or music has been an influence on my life. Missing from the list is which movie has been an influence. As I was considering this post and my thoughts moved over to the Great Depression, this movie came to mind. It was the 1969 Sydney Pollack drama entitled "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?".

This movie was set in the Depression period and focussed on a couple taking part in a dance marathon competition. The 1,500 dollars prize money draws many other desperate individuals to participate as a way out of their dilemma. However, when our protagonists (Jane Fonda and Michael Sarrazin) discover that the organisers intend to cheat the winners by imposing all kinds of deductions, what fragile hope that they still harbored seemed to vanish like the morning mist.
In the aftermath, Jane's character asks Michael's character for help to commit suicide. He shoots her in the head and later when the police asks him why he did it, he replied, "They shoot horses, don't they?"

This movie was very influential to me, making me realise and understand more about the state of hope and hopelessness. The last line and title of the movie was a cynical reminder that we ofter treat animals better than we treat our fellow humans. As I had said, I do not condone the actions of all those who kill their families and/or themselves because of the financial crisis. They may have lost hope but I believe hope is always just round the corner. Certainly, there is more to life that is worthwhile and which is not lost just due to financial distress. However, what they may have needed is someone to reach out to them and remind them that there is still hope; that the total darkness they find themselves in is only a temporary eclipse, to sit with them in the darkness until they can find the sun again in the smiles of their friends and the love of their families.

So to end this post, I will include this clip of some of the more significant scenes of this movie that won an Oscar for Gig Young as Best Supporting Actor and got 7 other nominations.

An Introduction to Bollywood Movies

I understand that a certain movie filmed in Mumbai, India has made it big time in Hollywood and is really making waves. I refer of course to the Oscar winning movie, Slumdog Millionaire. Now I have not seen this movie yet but I am not unfamiliar with Indian movies. In fact, I understand that Hollywood and Bollywood plan to increase collaborating on more movies.

So on the verge of a Bollywood invasion of Hollywood, I have decided to provide a public service by preparing the world for this up-coming cultural treat. Don't worry if you are unfamiliar with Indian culture or the Hindi language. I have selected two videos of Indian movies' famous dance sequences. With the help of subtitles prepared by Bufflax, you will find that these movies are really quite
attainable and enjoyable.

Just in case, you will find the first video a little too much of a culture shock and unfamiliar, I have included the second video which is an Indian adaptation of the musicvideo "Thriller". So at least that will be somewhat familiar.

This is a public service for world peace and understanding. No thanks needed. Enjoy.

Robin of Sherwood

The Legend of Robin Hood, the folk hero who robbed from the rich to give to the poor and hid in the forest of Sherwood with his merry men and who had a thing for Maid Marion is a well known and well loved story. It's appeal is in a hero that fights against oppression and wins despite the odds. Is this character real? Probably, but it is hard to perhaps distinguish truth from legend now. And what about the enigmatic name, "Robin Hood"? Well, the squirrels say that one day he divesting one aristocrat of all his money and effects and some say even his clothes. However as he turned to disappear into the forest, the aristocrat shouted after him, "The sheriff will catch and hang you one day, you dirty robbin' hood." The rest as they say is history.

Needless to say, there have been numerous versions made on film and TV on this legend. But which was the best? Well, for me, clearly the worst was Kevin Costner's "Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves". The reason for that was cleverly delivered by the Robin Hood (played by Cary Elwes) in Mel Brook's comedy version "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" when he said, "Unlike other Robin Hoods, at least I speak with an English accent."

However, I have to say that in my opinion, the best Robin Hood version ever is a little known British TV show called "Robin of Sherwood" which was telecasted originally between 1984-1988. This series lasted just three seasons but it was a magical head above all the other Robin incarnations. Robin was played by Michael Praed (and later by Jason Connery, Sean's son).

What made it stand out was a combination of gritty realism, artful fantasy, alternatively bright and then dark and brooding cinematography, a clever melding of pagan beliefs into the legend and strong development of characters. In this version, Little John, Frair Tuck, Wilf Scarlet and the others are not just background props but have interesting stories of their own. This version also introduced for the first time the character of a Saracen brigand called Nasir. An idea clearly pinched for Morgan Freeman's character in the "Prince of Thieves".

Finally, the one thing that had me glued to my TV every time this show was on was the music. The haunting and atmospheric music was something I had never heard before and it was soul captivating. This was my introduction (and many others too) to the Irish band "Clannad". In fact, the show's original soundtrack, Legend, was released in 1984 and won the BAFTA award for Best Original Television Music and was pretty much the beginning of Clannad's rising star.

Clannad is certainly worth another post but for now, honestly, look at these three below and tell me which is the best looking Robin. Then, go on to watch the video which will introduce you to some examples of the type and quality of characters and cinematography in the series, "Robin of Sherwood". I will warn you that the first 30 seconds may be a bit disturbing as it shows how dark and brooding the series can get but if you get past that stage, I think you will really enjoy how the music so complements the scenes. Enjoy "Robin of Sherwood" with music by Clannad.

X-Phile

The Odd Couple Heroes : Spooky Mulder and Scully

Take a TV show and add a dollop of "horror", a cup of "conspiracy", a slice of "science"and blend in an assortment of "legends both urban and ancient" and finally sizzle it with the tension between a believer and a skeptic. The result is something called the X-files which has held my attention for most of its nine seasons. It had all the ingredients that I liked and it was good story-telling.

In recent years, this has been perhaps the only TV show that I have tried not to miss no matter how busy my schedule. Although, my interest did wane towards the last two seasons when I felt that the ideas and the writing had become a little stretched and that it had dragged on a little too long. Ah, but I could go on and on about the stories covered in the first seven seasons. The real spark was in the story writing and the story telling where the kudos must go to creator Chris Carter and his team. Chris Carter has said that part of the inspiration for the series came from his memory of a TV series entitled "Kolchak: The Night Stalker". Well, that was one of my childhood favorites too.

The filming which was mostly done in the early years around Vancouver provided a dark and misty atmosphere which went well with the tales. Also as the years went by, the growing relationship was a fan favorite.

This post was prompted by the recent release of the second feature film from this franchise called "X-Files : I Want to Believe". As a fan, I went dutifully to see it at the very first opportunity and I was ............disappointed. I don't want to leak out the story elements but there were definitely somethings there that will make fans happy. This movie was touted as a stand alone story and a return to a more understated style. Unfortunately, it achieved that so well that it was in the end too mundane and inconsequential. For me, the first movie, "X-files: Fight the Future" was far more satisfying with the grander story scheme and background and the fact that it answered many old questions and advanced the story line.

Having said that, I hope the message gets back to Twentieth Century Fox that I and millions of fans will willingly spend our hard earned money to see the third movie of the series. So even if this current one flops, don't let it stop you from making the third and hopefully Chris Carter will have found his happy spot by then.

In the meantime, I will return and watch re-runs of the TV series. It is probably impossible to have a favorite episode as there were many good ones. Apart from the alien abduction/conspiracy story arc, there were many good single episodes.

Here are some of my favorites that come to mind;

1. Darkness Falls (with the life-sucking luminous insects)
2. Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose ( about a man who can foretell people's death)
3. Folie a Deux (an insect like creature that hides in plain sight)
4. Drive (in which a man has to keep driving to prevent his inner ear from exploding)
5. Tithonus (in which a man tries to capture death on film)

Which were your favorites?

Entrapment

My wife and I were budging out on DVD's over the weekend. I had just finished watching Vantage Point which was a very interesting action drama. My adrenaline was pumping after watching the movie. Suddenly I had a craving to watch another action movie and for some reason, I thought of watching and old science fiction favorite starring Bruce Willis called "The Fifth Element".

My wife on the other hand had been doing a marathon on chick flicks. As I was scrummaging through our old VCD collection (cause The Fifth Element is THAT old.), she threw me a DVD and told me to watch it.

I had a look at it and said, "No thanks! I have a date with Bruce the Man Willis and The Fifth Element." Alas, I could not find it even though I went through our entire collection.

As I sat frustrated, trying to visualise in my mind's eye where I had last seen that VCD, my wife threw me the DVD again and told me to give up the search and watch that DVD. Once again I told her that I was not in the mood for a romantic chick flick.

She persisted. She told me that it had an actor from that testosterone feast of sweaty, glistening male bodies and naked aggression called "300". Not interested was my reply.

"It also has someone from Friends and it has one of your old favorites." she continued.

She can be very persistent and I could read the signs that she would not be stopping on this issue. Finally, I had a look at the DVD and it was a movie entitled "P.S. I love you."



Okay, I thought to myself, that's a dumb unpromising title. Then I checked the actors. The actor from 300 was Gerard Butler. Now granted he is quite the hunk and a feast for the eyes for the ladies but that doesn't do anything for me ( I assure you). The female lead is Hilary Swank. Again, I appreciate that she is a great actress but doesn't she play all these tomboy roles? I just could not imagine her in a romantic story.

Then I discovered that Lisa Kudrow was also in the movie. Now, she's funny. Perhaps the movie had a chance. Ooo, Ooo, and it also has Harry Connick Jr. Now I like him and perhaps he sings or plays the piano in the movie. Okay, this movie's looking more palatable. Ah, but the clincher was when I read James Marster's name in the credits. James was the old favorite that my wife mentioned. James played my favorite character Spike in the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now I just had to see James in a movie.

And so, I watched all two hours of it. The movie surprised me almost from the start. I was disappointed that James Marster did not have a bigger role but that was irrelevant to the fact that this movie just touched me from beginning to end. The DVD cover called it a romantic comedy. Then how was it that I cried for most of that two hours. Now I may be a softie but I have never, ever cried right through an entire movie. This had more onion factor than Sleepless in Seattle (onions can make you cry - hence onion factor). Darn it! My wife loves to see me cry. It was entrapment.

I won't tell you the story cause that would take the fun out of it. I will tell you that the movie was based on a book by the same name and it was written by Cecilia Ahern who is the daughter of the previous Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern.

It did well in the box office and got generally good reviews from cinema goers. The critics on the other hand gave it between a negative review to mixed reviews but then again critics are grouchy individuals who would never admit that they cried.

While I am uncertain that it is best to describe it as a romantic comedy, it is not a romantic tragedy and there are laughs to be had in the movie. It's just that you will still have tears running down your cheeks even when you are laughing.

Watch this movie. I dare you. Just keep the Kleenex handy. As for me, I needed to overdose on Schwarzenegger and the Terminator series to feel like a man again.

Farewell Darkness and Hello Light

Claudia gave me this ...........um.......way back at the beginning of March but I am only now acknowledging it. What's my excuse? Well, there was this bear, see.......and you can read all about it here. Anyway, thanks very much Claudia, it is much appreciated.

"Friendship is a light in the darkness". I can really relate. I had a very serious bout with depression when I was at University and I remember how very suffocating it was. The world was all darkness, stifling darkness that you feel you would faint because there was no air. Then once, when it seemed that the darkness would stretch on forever, I asked a friend to just be with me for a weekend. No counseling, no analysis, no "why are you crying", no questions. Just tea and company. No judgment, only acceptance and friendship. Just a weekend but it meant the world to me. It was a sliver of light in my prison. It gave me back the sky. I could breathe and I could sleep. By that light, I climbed out of my pit. (for more details, here)

Wow. I hadn't meant to go that dark but every time I re-visit that episode of my life, its dark depths still is able to pull at me. But for now, let's stay out of the dark side. The point that was being made is that friendship is like alight in the darkness.

All this reminds me of a scene from the movie called "Farewell to the King" which also happens to be in my opinion one of the best movies ever filmed in Malaysia. Set in the dark days of World War Two and in the deep jungles of Borneo, it traces the story of an American deserter who somehow wins the trust of the native tribes in the jungle interior and becomes their "king". In this capacity, he tries to keep the war outside from reaching his people.

The scene I refer to comes towards the end of the movie when one of the protagonists, a British Officer, visits a captured Japanese Colonel. The Colonel had done everything to try to avoid defeat. He had been ruthless and took no prisoners. Later, cut-off and surrounded by enemy troops, he continued to lead his men to carry out attacks. When they ran out of food, they descended into madness and began to eat the flesh of their victims to keep going. However, as they continued to wander under the dark forest canopy, the noose grew tighter and in their desperation, so did their depravity.

Eventually, most were slaughtered in an ambush and now the Colonel was in custody and soon to be executed for his war crimes. The Colonel was all cleaned up and seemed to have recovered some of his former dignity. Even though he knew he was to be executed soon, he reached out and shook the British Officer's hand. It was this officer who had captured him. As he shook his hand he said, "Thank you for showing me the sky again".

At least, that is what I re-collect. We all need to see the sky. May we all always have someone to show us the sky.

Undead Nuts from October 30th 2006

I wish I had time to do a good post for Halloween which is one date that I look out for. Unfortunately, I have not been able to do so. instead, I have used unholy science to resurrect a dead and buried nut from 2006. Beware.......it stinks!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Spirits of the Season: Fright or Hide

(Pennywise the Clown from Steven King's "It".)

What thrills you? Gets your adrenaline up, gives you a buzz that lights up our smile and your sense of general well being. In fact it makes you feel like superman. The scientists call it the “fight or flight” response; our bodies are being prepared to fight or to run for our lives. Either way, the adrenaline tones our muscles in anticipation,
our blood rushes oxygen and we feel powerful. For some, they get this high from riding roller coasters and kamikaze rides. Not for me, I just become catatonic – completely rigid, neither capable of fight or flight, not even sound unless you count moans.

However, since it is Halloween, let us consider my other favourite way of getting thrills which is to watch horror movies or read a scary book or listen to a campfire ghost story. I call this the “fright and hide” response. This is where once again the adrenaline courses through the
body, getting the heart beat up and blood rushing but the muscles are not primed to run but to crawl under the blankets and hide. A really powerful invocation of the response is manifested by other symptoms like “tingling in the spine”, “goosebumps” and “chattering teeth”. I love it. I much prefer this than actually risking my life on a roller coaster. Horror stories is just safe entertainment with no real risk of being flung to your deaths from a roller coaster ride. After all, there are no such things as ghosts and monsters………… right? Er, right?

What makes a good horror story? I much prefer good story telling than an over reliance on mutilated bodies. Hence, I discount movies like Halloween and Scream and such slasher movies as body count movies. Most times, a couple of dead bodies can be scarier than a bus load.

Camp fire ghost stories are just great because it makes use of our imaginations which is usually far scarier that special effects. Although, I did not think that the Blair Witch Project was exceptional, it made use of simple things to great effect. Think of the sounds outside the tent, the strange arrangement of twigs, the disappearance of friends. You never see the horror but you get hints of it. Right at the end when you see the man at the corner with his feet not touching the ground; well, you knewthen you had it even though you still did not
see the horror. But you could almost touch it. Or worse, it could touch you. Brrrrr.

Perversion of innocence is another scary tool. This is where you take something sweet and innocent and turn it into evil personified. This worked well in “It.” A clown is turned into a monster with pointed teeth but he still looks like a clown all the way down to his red nose and balloon animals. If you can’t trust a clown,……. Just imagine cuddlying up to Barney and then seeing him transformed into a velociraptor. Now that’s scary. It did not work with “Chucky” because that doll looked like bad news even before he showed his demonic side. Children are also meant to be innocent and that’s why they can be very scary. In “The Ring”, we are actually led to sympathize with the girl, Samara. Oh poor little girl, how she was mistreated by her parents. Later, when we realize that the parents were actually scared of her that we feel the full impact of her evilness. Yikes.

Removing our comfort zones. Some of us have no problems watching movies about
old haunted mansions or about werewolves lose in the Everglades. Why? Because we know that nothing will ever drag us to go to a haunted mansion or camp in the Everglades. It is far away from our comfort zone. Movies on Vampires in Transylvania? No problem since the last I checked, there were no direct flights from the Kingdom of Darkness to our international airport. However, what if the horror came into our house? What if it visits in our dreams even though we are tucked in our own beds? That is the premise that made Nightmare on Elm Street so horrifying (the sequels degenerated to a body count movie). What if hell itself wanted to draw you in through the static of the TV screen as it did in Poltergeist? Yaaaaah!

I think Hollywood horror movies have lost their way of late and have acknowledged that by
copying or reproducing some of the scarier movies from Asia. The Ring, Dark Water and The Grudge are some examples. Even in the case of The Grudge, I would still recommend the Japanese version despite the fact that I am a Sarah Michelle Geller fan.

A few more that I would recommend from Asia include;
a) Shutter (2004; Thailand; The moment the hero finally understands what was happening was truly chilling.)
b) A Tale of Two Sisters (2003, Korean; Is it real or is it imagined the evil that seems to appear?)
c) One Missed Call
(2003, Japanese; Okay, not one of the top ones but I like how they use an everyday item like the handphone to rock us out of our comfort zone).

Happy halloween. Sleep well. Have pleasant dreams and watch out for your teddy bear.

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To The Stars ....or Bust.

Star Trek is a television and movie franchise that has many fans and perhaps has introduced more people today to the science fiction genre than any other work of fiction. I , myself am a fan of the series. My favorite is still the original with Captain Kirk, Spock and gang. At least they had to solve their problems with a mix of brawn and brain. Unfortunately, too often in Star Trek the Next Generation, Data wins the day by "reversing the polarity of the positronic matrix in resonance with the flux amplitude" or some similar pseudo-scientific gibberish.

My purpose in mentioning Star Trek is merely to point out one popular view of man's future. This view is optimistic; believing that science and technological advances will improve the quality of life, give us all forms of conveniences like the food replicator or the transporter. That it will gives us new toys to entertain us like the holodeck and all kinds of medicines to prolong life. This view believes in a bright future for man amongst the stars where even the superior races are impressed by man's intellect and drive and before long man takes there place amongst the star travellers as equals. "The Contact", starring Jodie Foster, also subscribes to this view of a bright and glorious future.

For many years, the science fiction community also promoted the opposite view. This is the view that man's future is a dark one, where man's own technology leads to a breakdown in society or worse where man's technology turns against him. "Blade Runner" and "Brazil" are examples of this vision of the future where society has lost its way and life and freedom are frequent casualties. This is also the world of the Terminator series and the Battlestar Galactica series where our robots and technology turn round and try to eliminate mankind in mass genocide.

The vast majority of science fiction stories fall into either camp. This in turn, I believe, reflects the confidence and beliefs of the general public.

Over the years, other more innovative variations of the theme have appeared. In movies like "Serenity", science and technology may advance but man's basic problems of greed, intolerance and lust for power remain unchanged. This may be considered a form of middle-ground between the Star Trek universe and the Terminator universe.

One variation which I really enjoy is the one portrayed by Arthur C. Clarke in his "Rama" series of books. In this story, an enormous cylindrical spaceship enters our solar system. The story relates how man prepares to meet this impressive sign of extra terrestrial intellegence. From the time it is first spotted going pass Pluto on its way through our solar system, all the nations work franctically to get a spacecraft up to meet it. Despite our best efforts, the cylindrical ship passed through the solar system without recognising man's efforts to make first contact. In fact, it ignores man. This is a very interesting view of the universe, which holds that man may continue to advance in science and technology and may one day reach the stars but when we get there, we discover that the superior races not only do not find us interesting, they ignore us as being insignificant. Would man then survive this blow to his ego?

Do you believe our future is the hands of technology is a bright one or a dark one?

Squirrel's Secret Spot No: 6 (Canals of England and Wales)

1.The Crew of the Oliver Cromwell sans Photographer; 2. Lowering the boat in a lock; 3. Raising the boat through a lock and James' shoes about to get soaking wet 30 seconds later; 4. Have you heard of Hot Cross Buns? It originated here in Banbury and this is the Banbury Cross; 5. This farm dog taught us how to play fetch with it; 6. Hotel Canal Boats; 7. learning about Industrial History; 8. Making friends along the way; 9. Ah, the peace and solitude at night. (Photocredit: All by LGS except No:9 which is a postcard).

For a long time when I should have been studying for my second year exams, I was actually looking at travel brochures and day-dreaming about having a holiday on a long, narrow canal boat. I wanted a lazy, relaxing holiday with the wonderful company of close friends and to enjoy the clean air and to bask in the sun and a canal boat holiday seemed to fit the bill.

While juggling my exams, I managed to organize the holiday on a canal boat called the Oliver Cromwell on the Oxford Canal. I had hand picked James, Katherine and Julie to be my crewmates as the close confines of a canal boat is one that you wish to share only with people you got on well together.

We picked up the boat on Lower Heyworth with great excitement. Spent an exciting hour learning how to handle the boat and then we were off. Within 5 minutes we were having a great big argument. On a canal that only runs north and south, the crew were split on whether to go north or south! It appeared as if the cramp quarters had already made everyone snappy and crabby. The decision was finally made on the call of a coin toss and we headed north.

Ah, soon the bickering was forgotten as we cruised along at 4 miles per hour. The anticipation of the next 7 days intoxicated us even more than the beers in our hands. It was as I had imagined. This illusion, however, only lasted until we reached the first lock. We had been briefed about locks which are the means by which canal boats can be raised or lowered between sections of the canal which are at different heights. Locks are fascinating bits of engineering history. They can also be back-breakingly hard to operate. First you have to maneuver these heavy wooden gates and then you have to use a key to open the paddles that control the water levels. Did I think this was going to be a lazy holiday? It was hard work. A Good Samaritan who witnessed our pitiful efforts of trying to push the gates open and close, advised us that it was actually easier to sit on the beams of the gates and to push with our legs. Bouncing on the beams on our behinds also helped if the gates were stucked. We tried it and it worked like a charm and we happily operated several gates that first day, only to discover in the evening that our buttocks had turned blue-black and was covered with painful wooden splinters!

My other illusions about the canal trip were similarly exposed before long. Clean fresh air was replaced by miles of farmland reeking of cow dung. Basking in the sun? Did I forget this was England where rain is like a friend that drops in unannounced all the time and often outstays his welcome. And when night came, so did the mosquitoes.

Yet despite all these setbacks, it was one of the most enjoyable holiday I have ever had. The fun was in the people that you met along the way; the fellow novices, the old salts and the local characters. There was freedom in deciding where to go and when to stop. The historical pubs along the way were great places to stop and sample local hospitality, food and beer. It was away to learn about the history of the country especially around the period of the Industrial Revolution for which these canals were built to serve by bringing coal from the Midlands to London.

It was the surprises that awaited you at every bend. A water vole. A heron. It is waking up in the morning to the sound of cow bells in the adjacent farm or sleeping with visions of the stars and the sound of the crickets. It was having picnics on the boat or in the fields with close friends. It was terrific.

In the end, the holiday came to an end too quickly and I have been enamored with canal boats, their history and associated crafts and culture ever since. The Oxford Canal is not even one of the more interesting canals. I would love to go on the Llangollen Canal with its Pontcysyllte Aqueduct in which the canal boat would glide across the valley more than 40 m above the Dee River and to glide into Llangollen town during their celebration of Celtic culture in music, poetry and dance, the Eisteddfod Festival. That would be so wonderful.

Rambo - American Hero / Malaysian Fruit

We all remember that lovable killing machine played by Sylvester Stallone which graced our silver screens in the 1980's, don't we? I refer of course to Rambo. This character almost but not quite won the war in Afghanistan and Vietnam singlehandedly. Too bad that America had only one Rambo cause surely if there were at least two of them, then the U.S. Army would be truly unstoppable. Canadians have reason to fear Rambo too. In the first movie, "First Blood", Rambo shoots up the entire town of Hope, British Columbia (the town was standing in for an American town in Washington State). It had something to do with the fact that Canadian towns were cheaper to destroy.

Of course, all this patriotic flag-waving, muscle flexing and bad guy bashing had a great influence on young adolescent males all over the world. Many even adopted the name Rambo to identify with their hero. Most of these were strangely 100 pound weaklings. In Malaysia though some combinations of Western names and Eastern names make poor or unfortunate matches.

Imagine a young underweight weakling trying to impress pretty girl. He says, "My name is Rambo....". So far so good. Then he continues, "Rambo Tan". And the girl is rolling on the floor in hysterics.

Tan is a common family name but Rambo Tan sounds unfortunately like "Rambutan". Rambutan does not conjure up the image of a "you don't want to mess with me" macho hero in Malaysia. Rather it is the name of a popular hairy fruit.

Yup, hairy fruit! I kid you not. Look at photos for proof. The rambutan fruit is the size of a chicken egg and has a hairy, fleshy skin which may be red or yellow in color. Peel off the skin to reveal a white fleshy fruit with a woody seed in the centre. The white flesh is best described as being translucent and similar to a firmer and sweeter lychee flesh. It is a very sweet and refreshing fruit. Unfortunately, it does not ship well and very often if it makes it to overseas supermarkets, the fruit looks black and dishevelled. The fruit grows in large bunches on a large tree about 30 feet tall.

There is one further unfortunate association with the name "rambutan". There used to be one main mental asylum in Malaysia and it was in a place called Tanjung Rambutan. The name was therefore synonymous with going nuts.

So Rambo just doesn't cut it as a macho name in Malaysia. Rambo Tan is even worse. You'd either be a fruit or a nutcase!

All photos by LGS

My Favorite Depression Song

It was an exciting but tiring weekend; not aided by the fact that I had a fever and a bad cough. You could say that I have a fever aggravated Monday Blues funk. What I really need is to get some sleep.... for about a week. As that's not gonna happen, I just have to let the blues out somehow and so I decided to blog and share my misery around. This is going to be a seriously depressing post. If you wish to remain cheerful with birdsongs in your heart and cherry blossoms in your eyes, leave now. You have been warned.

Several posts ago, I did a little poem about my feelings during my bout with depression many years ago. When you are in that state, you develop a new set of habits which I think has to do with trying to express with actions the turmoil within. I had a friend, my depression buddy in fact, who painted all her room black. She even wrote me a nice long letter which was on black paper and written in black ink (you can read it by slanting the paper near a light and there will be a reflection off the ink). As she couldn't speak without breaking down and crying, this was her way of expressing herself. Black, of course, is also soothing. It's like being in a safe cocoon and I don't think it was so much to do about being morbid.

I, though, found myself a nice theme song so that even on the brightest, sunniest day, I had a magic tune to lead me back into the comforting darkness. That song was the theme song from the movie M*A*S*H and it was called "Suicide is Painless". The "young" readers are probably lost at this stage. M*A*S*H was a black comedy set in a mobile army surgical hospital during the Korean War. It was also adapted into what became arguably the most popular T.V. series of all time. Look it up yourself cause I want to talk about the song.

This song was written by Johnny Mandel for the movie. Director Robert Altman asked for a dark, funny and yet stupid song. Mandel came out with the tune but complained that there was no way he could come up with anything so ridiculous. So in the end, the lyrics were written by Mike Altman who was at that time the 14 year old son of the director. Can you imagine that this was written by a 14 year old? Marilyn Manson did a cover version of the song in 2000 as the theme song for the sequel to the movie "The Blair Witch Project". Marilyn said that it was "More depressing and offensive than anything I've ever written". Praise indeed from the master.

Of course, many people have argued about what the lyrics actually meant. Some suggest that it was really a metaphor for the political and military decisions facing U.S.A. during the Vietnam War. I think that's stretching it and giving a lot of credit to a 14 year old.

Why did it become my depression theme song? The lyrics are misguidingly comforting. When you think that nothing is going right and you have no control over your life, it seductively suggests that you still have the power to choose to live or die, or to choose to die on your own terms "before the losing card you play". It suggests that all the pain will go away and the act itself will be surprisingly painless compared to the pain of continued existance.

Of course, I think that it is all nonsense now. It isn't about power but about running away, about giving up and about security in defeat. The truth is that in every life some rain must fall but life is a precious gift and worth all the pain and inconvenience. However, even though the lyrics no longer has its hold on me, the song is a very major part of my past and therefore forever a part of me.

Anyway, here are the lyrics. What do you think?

Suicide is Painless

Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...

[Refrain]:
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's too late, and... [Refrain]

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say. [Refrain]

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat. [Refrain]

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger,
watch it grin, but... [Refrain]

A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
"is it to be or not to be?"
and I replied "oh why ask me?"

'Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please
.....and you can do the same thing if you choose.